


Heart of the Cards

by DarkwingSnark, Moonbeamcat



Series: Heart of the Cards [1]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Action/Adventure, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1838497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkwingSnark/pseuds/DarkwingSnark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonbeamcat/pseuds/Moonbeamcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stars foretell of a new and exciting development for a certain young nomad. The fortune teller had no doubt that good things would surely come Wander's way, no matter who or what he crossed. However, those that became sucked into his orbit...she couldn't be so sure of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fortune Teller

****

* * *

The stars shone brightly throughout the galaxy. The Gamma Quadrant might not have had many planets to its name, so far as one could tell, but it sure had very beautiful clusters of stars. Wander smiled to himself, as he tweaked the strings on his banjo, as he continued to take in the hues. He leaned back in the saddle, his orange fur brushing against the neck of his trusted companion, as the nomad sighed contently.

"Sure is beautiful, dontcha think, Syl?"

Sylvia, who had been busy steering their orbble as they trotted along, merely rolled her eyes. The zbornak smiled.

"You say that about every dang system out there, Wander."

"Oh! But I ESPECIALLY mean it this time! They're just so colorful! Jus' a lil' something nice to look at, is all I'm sayin'."

"Yeah. It is... pretty, I suppose." replied Sylvia, softly, her smile never waning. It certainly was a nice change of scenery from Garbonia Five, with its rolling hills of sludge and fields of trash. How they'd ended up on a barge planet was still a mystery to Sylvia.

It was also a mystery as to why or how she could be hungry after thinking about it. But her gut gurgled loudly in insistence that she was. It came as no surprise that her travelling partner took notice.

"Whoopsie! Sounds like the tank's runnin' a little low." he piped up from her back, grinning as he did so. She didn't have to see him to know he was grinning. She sighed.

"Looks like it, pal. Hey, what do you say to stoppin' off over there on that planet, maybe see if they have anything that resembles food." suggested the zbornak, pointing to a small planet, still a bit far off in the distance.

"I'd say it sounds like a SPLENDID idea! I'm sure they'll have a lil' somethin' nice. And if not, well, I'm sure the ol' hat won't mind obliging."

Sylvia wasn't so sure about that, but food and maybe some rest did sound nice. Not that she was complaining, exactly. But, she had been walking for a while now and she swore her calluses were starting to get calluses. Sylvia found the frown melting from her face, as her buddy began to play a little ditty on his instrument. It was calming, and enough of a distraction to help the zbornak get her mind off the hunger.

She never could figure out how Wander always knew just what she needed.

* * *

It didn't take the two travelers too long to get to their destination. They had come along to a field of purple grass, landing and popping their orbble upon contact. Wander had put away his banjo, as he jumped off of Sylvia's back-insisting he needed to stretch his legs out for a bit and give his ol' dogs some exercise. After a moment or so of fiddling with his hat, the nomad pulled out a map with it reading: Rahisitaka. Figuring out their location, he beamed as he pointed forward.

"Looks like a lil' town's that-a-way. I'm sure there's some grub there!"

"We can hope, anyway."

Hope, however, brought them something far more interesting. The two barely made it over the nearest hill before they could hear music and clatter fill the night. A little more walking showed them just where the sound was coming from, as they happened upon bright lights, lots of tents, and large groups of people running and walking about.

Wander squealed in delight.

"Eeee, Sylvia! It's a carnival!"

Sylvia's own face lit up, albeit at a much lesser intensity. Wander's childlike enthusiasm for these types of things (and just about everything else, come to think of it) was enough to put a smile on her face, but she was also relieved, because...

"Yup! And where there's a carnival, there's carnival food!"

The nomad leaped atop his trusty steed, and at the signal, Sylvia took off, quickly crossing the final stretch to their bustling destination. They screeched to a halt in the middle of a crowded town, a barrage of colors, smells, music, and laughter assaulting their senses from every direction.

Wander had dismounted the second they'd stopped, and the excitable little fuzz ball was already overwhelmed by all of the excitement. It was alarming, but not surprising, when Sylvia glanced down to see him gone. Sylvia's eyes darted around the crowd frantically, and at last she spotted a flash of orange and bolted after it, shoving a few irritated bystanders out of her way in the process.

"Comin' through, MOVE it, buddy!"

Suddenly, the zbornak froze in her chase, as the aroma of something fried and most likely delicious wafted through the air from a nearby stand. She glanced back to see Wander zip around the side of a tent... and then back at the food stand. Her stomach won out in the end.

"Ah, he'll be fine on his own for a few minutes. He's got that stupid hat with him, after all."

* * *

"WELL now," Wander exclaimed, as he finally stopped himself in his tracks- the strand of bright tents and colors finally leading him to a road block. He raised a brow, his curiosity getting the best of him. "What have we HERE!"

While the other tents were certainly colorful, the one before him was certainly a contender for being the most elaborate. The nomad took in the colors and patterns, his smile widening at the different shades of pinks against lavenders and reds. His gaze zigged and zagged, as he oohed and aww-ed, before landing on a simple handwritten sign hanging off the side.

"'Fortune teller'," Wander read, liking the sound of that. "Now THAT sounds interestin'! Ya know, I don't think I've ever done that before. Not unless you count the one time a feller told me I WASN'T throwin' coins in a wishin' well, and was instead on the verge of givin' their whole town water poisoning. Yeesh!"

The orange fuzzball's frown over the memory didn't last long, however, as he was quick to cheer up again- making his way towards the tent's entrance.

"But enough about THAT. I'm sure this won't be nothin' like THAT time!"

Long, thin, time-worn fingers grazed over a tarot deck, which was placed carefully and purposely on the cloth-covered table in the center of the dimly lit tent. The top card was lifted from the deck, and the old fortune teller gazed at the Fools card she had drawn. When the card was lowered, a wise, knowing smile was worn on her face, and she was not surprised at all to see the small nomad standing in her midst, his wide grin distorted but unmistakable as he peered curiously through her crystal ball.

"Ahh, hello, welcome, young man! I've been expecting you!" she crooned.

Wander gasped, bouncing in place from excitement. "No kiddin'! Did yer magical crystal ball say I was comin'?"

The old woman nodded once. She decided not to mention the fact she'd seen him wandering about through the open tent entrance for quite awhile, as well. "Sit, won't you?"

The nomad did as he was told, gingerly climbing and sitting on the wooden stool in front of the table. Momentarily he frowned as he realized it did not spin, but occupied his energetic self by kicking his legs back and forth. This was enough for him.

"Soooo, " Wander began, his eyes looking around and taking in all the neat stuff little trinkets, " you were expecting me? What else do you know? Oh! Do you know how many times I can sing the alphabet before my tongue gets tired? Do you know why pancakes taste the best at breakfast, and are jus' weird at lunch? What about-"

"Those aren't exactly the sort of questions I answer, my dear," the fortune teller interrupted, though her voice was traced with amusement. "I'm a little more...prophetic in nature."

"Oh. Well, I suppose that's fine an' dandy too. Though, if ya ask me, I think part o' the fun is not knowin' what's gonna happen. Don't wanna ruin the surprise, after all!"

"Oh, ho ho!" The woman laughed good-naturedly with a smile. "Don't you worry about that, little one. The purpose of my craft is not to tell you where you are going. Simply a vague map to help you get there." Her nimble fingers returned to rest lightly on the deck of cards again. "Whether you wish to use the map in the end, is entirely up to you, dear. Do you know which questions you will ask of the cards tonight?"

"Hmmm…"

Wander found himself crossing his eyes, and he stroke the orange fuzz above his lips. Well, that was something to think about, wasn't it? He was still hesitant to ask anything without it being a huge spoiler alert-but it also seemed rather rude to walk away from a woman and her craft. And...and there WAS the curiosity factor. And BOY did the nomad know he wasn't very good at turning down temptations like that! So, with that all in mind, he opened his mouth and let it decide for him.

"Well, I suppose it won't hurt t'ask somethin' simple n' vague. Ya think I can ask those cards of yours what's gonna happen next? That way if they tell me somethin' like meeting a new friend, I won't feel disappointed in findin' out a lil' early!"

"I think we can manage that, yes."

The nomad watched in amazement as the old woman shuffled the cards. Now, normally this in and of itself wouldn't be much of a surprise- Wander was the type of person to find enjoyment in watching paint drip off a paintbrush. HOWEVER, in this case, his excitement was valid as the teller did elaborate tricks. The cards practically danced from one hand to the next, and Wander couldn't get enough of it. Once the woman was finished, she spread the cards out in front of her guest and the traveler couldn't hold back his excitement.

"WOW! That was neat! How'd ya do that? Can ya do it again? Ooh oooh, can I give it a go?"

"Maybe afterwards, child. First, will you be so kind and pick out six cards?"

"Sure!"

It didn't take too long for Wander to pick, all the cards looking the same with their cresent moon backs facing him. Yet, he still found amusement in the act, pointing to random cards with a 'boik'. Finally, after picking out his last card, the teller collected the rest and put them back to her side-leaving two rows with three cards behind.

"Now," she began as she flipped over the first tarot, "this is you."

What stared up at the nomad was a bit of a surprise. It was a simple design, but the character on it was still distinguishable.

"Hey," Wander exclaimed, pointing at the card, "that looks like me! Well, sorta. I don't think I'm quite as scruffy, an' I sure as heck don't carry a fancy lookin' stick around."

Though, now the nomad was beginning to think he really should.

"That's the Fool card. The first in the major arcana. It's telling me you're a very optimistic young man, though I don't need the cards to see that. You enjoy life, and see it as an adventure full of endless potential."

"Gosh, ma'am, you're making me blush here!"

"Buuut," the teller said, giving Wander a knowing look, " it also tells me you can get a little too excited. Sometimes forgetting to look where you're going as you charge into the unknown. And that maybe you should listen to your more level-headed traveling companion more. Like when she says not to go wandering off, hmm?"

From across the table, Wander's mouth hung open and he gasped enthusiastically. "Wow, that's amazin'! You even know about-" his wonder struck expression quickly shifted to mild shock. "Sylvia, oh no! I got so wrapped up in this neat little carnival, I forgot all about 'er!"

The nomad had already hopped off the stool, and was on his way out. "Sorry ma'am, don't mean t'be rude and run like this, but I gotta go find-"

"Wander, isn't it?"

He froze in place for a moment, before turning to regard her with that same look of wonder. He hadn't told her his name, had he? "Yes ma'am, that's me! And might I say you are GOOD. But I really should be goin-"

"Your friend is fine. She can wait a few moments longer. The cards have more to tell you. Won't you listen?"

Wander was perched back on the stool in an instant.

"The cards really told you all that?"

The woman blinked once, and then shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, why not."

The fuzzy nomad took her at face value, as he smiled and pointed to the next card. The fortune teller took this as a sign to continue as she turned it over- showing a stick.

"My, you sure have a lot of stick cards in there, don'cha. I wonder if that means I'm gonna run into another puppy- wouldn't that be something! Last lil' fella was cute, if a little too apocalyptic (if ya know what I mean)."

The old woman did not, in fact, know what he meant; however, she chose to take it as face value as she motioned to the card.

"Actually, that's a wand. The ace of wands, to be exact. This is an indicator of a spark of new passion. It seems something new has come into your life and you've taken an interest in it. How about we turn over the next card and see what it is, shall we?"

The next tarot was a simple illustration of a scale.

"Justice. Interesting."

"Interesting?"

"Yes. The position in this layout is about helpful card is an indicator of where your heart of the matter-your new passion-lies. And while Justice is usually telling you that you need to do whatever's necessary to find equilibrium… I believe this is referring to a person. Meet any cold-minded, prejudiced people lately?"

Wander only gave it a moment's thought before sitting back, and crossing his arms over his chest in an indignant manner. "No ma'am, I do not believe a person can be cold-minded. Sure, Sylvia gets a little grumpy now and again, and that Graconian officer the other day DEFINITELY had an attitude problem, but there ain't no such thing as a cold hearted person."

His eyes snapped open. She'd said cold minded. Why had he said cold hearted? He hadn't, right? Right! His optimistic energy returned, as he grinned wide and jutted a finger at the next, and last, card. "What's THAT card sayin'?"

The fortune teller gave Wander another look, one he couldn't quite figure out, as she waved her hand.

"Now now, we'll get to the last card in due time, little one. The fourth card should be of interest to you, though, seeing as this shall indicate the unexpected."

"Gee, but…" Wander paused as he tried to think it over. "Doesn't really make it unexpected if you tell me 'bout it, does it?"

"Oh, trust me, you'll never see this one coming."

"Oh goody then! Then let's take a looksy~"

The old woman allowed the nomad to turn the card over, himself. Now, Wander didn't know a thing about the fortune telling business. Really, he had been intrigued by just finding out the symbolism of all the cards and what the tarot could mean- and how it would affect him. However, when his eyes fell upon the picture of a crumbling tower he couldn't help but feel…well, to be perfectly honest, some dred.

"That's...that's a good card, right?"

The teller had a sympathetic expression on her face, as she went to gently place a wrinkled hand on top of his furry one.

"Yes, and no. The tower...is very harsh. It is about a rude awakening that shall happen to you. It is about false structures- things that we perceive to be true is not as it seems. Something is going to make you see the light, and it will not be pretty, love.

"Buuuut," the old woman paused, this time giving a small smile of comfort, "while it might hurt...It is something that needs to be done. Once the shadows of falsehood crumbles, the truth is what remains. And from there is where a new foundation can be built."

"Oh." Everything about the space traveller suddenly wilted, even his hat seemed to deflate and droop. His somber visage was gone as soon as it had appeared, making room for the cheery optimism that Wander was known for. The grin was back on his face, his eyes shone brightly.

"See, I knew it was a good card! Shouldn't be no big thing, I've helped repair buildings before!" he then leaned in over the table and cupped a hand to his face, as he continued in a hushed tone. "An' if ya ask me, this tower could USE some rebuildin'" he said, tapping the card with his pointer finger.

"You know...I think you are very much right, child." The old woman removed her hand from on top of his, as she went to turn over the fifth card. This one made the teller laugh. "Oh, I am not surprised at all."

Wander looked it over, and noted it was a circle with a silhouette of a tree.

"I think I'm not in on the joke, ma'am. But I'd sure like t'be! What does this one mean, if ya don' mind me askin'."

"Of course I don't, and I suppose it's not a joke, exactly." She picked up the card and held it out in front of the nomad. "This card tells me what you want-what makes you happy. It tells me you want the world-or in your specific case, the universe. It is about fulfilment, about seeing all life has to offer and being a part of it. You don't desire much, but to live off of what life has to give as you spread your teachings."

"I'm not really a teacher, though. I just like helpin' folks when they need a lil' hand."

"No," the fortune teller shook her head in disagreement, "you do more than that- I don't need a card to know about the good you do for people. You don't JUST do anything. You can easily help someone and move on, but you are teaching people how to fight hate and oppression with kindness. You are teaching the people you meet how to love, so that they may continue to spread this kindness and make the universe a brighter place. Whether you are conscious about this, however...even I have my doubts. "

Before Wander could open his mouth to say anything to this, the old woman held up the last card.

"Whatever the mindset behind your ways...I do not worry. Your outcome tells me good is in store for you. No matter what you might face, harmony will exist. And your teachings will affect even the most unexpecting individuals."

Wander's optimism bubbled over into glee, a toothy grin spreading across his whole face as he squealed. He didn't need knowledge of the tarot to know that this was definitely a good card. The two embracing looked far too happy for it to be otherwise. The heart silhouette also gave it away.

The fuzzy little nomad reached across the table, and plucked it from the woman's grasp, holding it up beside his face. "Is this a loooove card?" he lilted, eyelids lowered, grin remaining, brows raised.

"Aha, " the fortune teller couldn't help but laugh at Wander's flirtatious expression. "No, not exactly, anyway. It is a card of intimacy-closeness. Of strong life changing bonds. The meanings change from teller to teller, you see...BUT, yes. I see it as good to come, if you choose to hold out for it."

And to this the old woman gave a wink, making the fuzzy nomad's grin grow wider, if it was at all possible.

"Well if there is one thing I am all about, it's bein' all close and bonded to a whole BUNCH of folks! That is the best fortune EVER!"

In a flash, the small traveller had hopped up and was now standing atop the table, one of the woman's hands in both of his, pumping enthusiastically. "Thank you SO much, ma'am, this sure has been fun!"

This creature seemed to have boundless energy, as he was already strutting toward the exit- when he stopped and spun around again, slapping his head with his palm.

"I can't believe I almost forgot that map you were tellin me about earlier! Wooo, it's a good thing I remembered; I never woulda' found that tower that needs fixin' without it!"

The elder raised a brow in mild confusion, though it was more than evident she found hilarity in the situation.

"No dear, it was all a metaphor, remember? Symbolism, and all that jazz."

"So...No map?"

"No map."

Wander frowned as he let this sink in. Huh, metaphors. Well, he suppose he could work with that. Besides, his hat could just always take care of them if they ran into any tower trouble anyway. He was sure there were hammer and nails SOMEwhere in there!

"Okey dokey, ma'am. Don't worry, I'll get it all sorted on my own then. Ta ta, tootles, and thank ya again!"

The fortune teller shook her head, as she watched the orange nomad bounce out of her tent. There was no doubt that he would soon bump back into his zbornak friend, and maybe after a while of exploring the fair, they'd be off again- going wherever their traveling bubble took them next.

"Cute kid, if maybe a little too airy in the head."

Then again, even that she still wasn't so sure of. What she did know, however, was that the stars spoke highly of him, and that good was sure to come no matter where he went. She had no doubt he'd be fine.

The teller began to clean up the cards on the table, placing them onto the bottom of the deck. After straightening them up, her old worn fingers rested back on top of the tarot- picking up the next card. She sighed as she took in the dark skeletal visage of Death.

"Now if only I could be so sure about everyone else involved…"

 


	2. The Scroll

****

* * *

Lord Hater was not a very patient man.

The Centruq Nebula might not have been the system with the mostly advanced civilizations, but it did currently house the whereabouts of one of the biggest threats in all the galaxies. The skull vessel was busy lurking outside the homeworld of Permydia, a small red planet of mostly sand. Its ice caps, where the rakish Permydian people mostly inhabited and thrived, could clearly be seen from space- a horrid black cloud of smoke rising through its atmosphere.

All where a certain skeletal overlord was busy watching with pleasure, as the land melted and began to flood the red deserts- drenching it in a very dark hue much more to his liking.

"Serves them right, " he mumbled to himself as he continued to watch his monitors with sadistic delight, " wouldn't have had to do this if they just handed over what I wanted in the FIRST place!"

"Right you are, sir!" His head commander piped up from beside him, startling him out of his musings and making him flinch.

"AHH- PEEPERS! How many times do I have to tell you NOT TO DO THAT?"

The watchdog visibly cowered under his overlord's accusations, taking a step back, and raising his hands, as if that in itself was enough to ward off his wrath.

"Um... sorry, Lord Hater, I wasn't aware I was being quiet."

"THE RABBIT NINJAS OF QUELLTAIRE TWELVE MAKE MORE NOISE THAN YOU DO!"

To anyone who didn't know Hater very well, which is to say, anyone but Commander Peepers, the skeletal overlord would have seemed to be in a particularly volatile mood. But it was obvious to the watchdog that he had just embarrassed Hater- the guy tended to yell more when his pride was at stake. Yelling was his way of saying 'no, he hadn't just been startled'.

Peepers' intuition was proven correct, as Hater reclined back into his chair, one leg crossed over the other, a rare sense of relaxed calmness about him, as he continued to watch the monitors.

"Well? Did you get it? The scroll?"

There was a short pause that Hater did not like.

"Yyyes, sir.. We did, indeed, get the scroll. Just like you ordered."

He eyed Peepers, who glanced away. "So where is it?"

The watchdog commander scratched the back of his head.

"Well, it's uh, it's over in that general vicinity, probably." he replied, hesitantly, pointing to the other side of the room. Hater swivelled his chair around to see a looming pile of scrolls, and a watchdog unloading another armful of them into the pile.

Hater felt his inner temperature rise, as he finally exploded at the commander- his good mood officially spent.

"Are you SERIOUS?! PEEPERS, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" The skeletal overlord snatched up his cowering officer, as he began to violently shake him. "I asked for ONE scroll, ONE SCROLL! And you come back from Permydia WITH THE WHOLE GLORBIN' LIBRARY?!"

Peepers found himself growing dizzy, as his pupil bounced around the surface of his eye wildly. He was going to be sick if the skeleton didn't stop soon. The commander worked through his wooziness and fear as he tried to explain himself to his leader.

"S-sir! Lord Hater, your greatness, we tried! We were in the hall of records, trying to search through them, when we were suddenly under attack by their queen's royal forces! I thought it best for us, in that current state, to grab everything before the second wave was sent down for backup!"

Hater threw a quick glance back to the screen, as he saw an explosion go off on the planet's surface. Ah, second wave was always his favorite- they always did use the better toys. The overlord snapped his attention back to his third in command, as he noted the man in his arms had been shaking all the while, even without his help. Hater rolled his eyes, before dropping him- making poor Peepers land roughly on his face.

"EXCUSE! You're giving me EXCUSES, Peepers. And when you're busy giving me those, that means you're using the time you COULD be using to find me the whereabout of my ancient and totally awesome relic!"

"Yes, sir, right away, sir..." Peepers yelped, zipping over to the pile to begin his search. Honestly, he was just glad to get away from his fuming boss at this point. He quickly got to sorting the pile one by one, checking them and tossing them away. "Excalibur, no... Ring of Destiny, no that's not it, ohhh, a recipe for apple pie, I'll just pocket that one for later..."

Hater watched, his arms folded tightly over his chest, the scowl on his face deepening with each passing second. "HURRY UP, PEEPERS!"

"I'm going as fast as I can!" Peepers whined.

"What was that? Were you just DISOBEYING MY ORDERS?"

"No, sir! Going faster, sorry, sir!" The pile of discarded scrolls began piling up faster and faster, and Peepers began to fear they'd left the one important scroll... back on Permydia. His fears were confirmed and converted into a lead ball in the pit of his stomach twenty minutes later, as he tossed the last scroll over his shoulder. It wasn't here.

He glanced over his shoulder, shaking from panic and exhaustion. Hater was sitting in his chair, facing away from him, watching the monitors, evidently bored. Now what?

A sharp hiss sent Peepers' heart rate through the roof and he jumped, whipping around to see... the only one on the ship, under Hater, who outranked him. Captain Tim.

"Oh, get out of here, you drooling ball of- HEY!"

There was a scroll clenched in between the creature's dripping fangs. Peepers swore the thing was laughing at him.

"The scroll!"

Peepers crept calmy closer to the abomination, both weary for his well being and the safety of the literature. The thing may have been in a gold casing for protection...but who knew HOW pervious the thing actually was-especially to the likes of acidic secretions.

"Alright, good boy. Gooood boy, Captain Tim. How about you be a pal and just hand that little thing over to your good ol' buddy Peepers, huh?" The commander found himself jumping back as the spider creature leapt forward, tackling the watchdog to the ground and running him over-scurrying away.

"HEY! Get BACK here!"

Thus began a chase around the room, Captain Tim effortlessly crawling up walls and scurrying around poles to stay out of the officer's way. Peepers found himself screaming from anger as he swore at the beast- as well as screaming from terror as the monster pet turned around and started chasing HIM!

Chasing him all the way to the tip of the nearest flagpole as he began crying for help.

"SIIIR! Help, please, TIM!"

Lord Hater, who had been skilled at drowning out the annoying high pitched voice of his third in command, found his head snapping to the side in anger as he was prepared to tell the watchdog to shut the heck up. However, what he found instead stopped him. Hater rolled his eyes.

"You're not supposed to be PLAYING with the pet, Peepers!"

"WHO'S PLAYING?! Please, Lord Hater, CALL HIM OFF!"

Obviously nothing was going to get done unless he did it himself-UGH. What did he even PAY these idiots for? Still annoyed, but finding some sort of mercy in his bones, Hater reached into his robes and pulled out his whistle. He barely had to blow it, before Captain Tim ceased his antagonizing of the defenseless watchdog and happily made its way towards his owner. The abomination plopped into the skeletal overlord's lap, where Hater began to pet and coo at him.

"Daww, you were just plaaaaying weren't you? Yeees you were! You just looove to play with pathetic little Peepers dooon't you?" It was during his cooing that he noticed something in his pet's mouth.

"Huh, what's this?"

Raising a boney brow, he reached for it and noted that it was one of the scrolls from the pile. Quickly shaking off the acid drool as if it was nothing, he opened it and skimmed over the words on the page. His eyes shot open wide, as an excited grin broke out on the skeleton's face.

"This is it! JUST what we came to this stupid system for!" Hater turned his attention back to his pet, as he picked him up and began happily nuzzling his favorite alien monster. "You brought daddy juuuust what he wanted! Yes you did, Tim! Yeees you did! Somebody is going to get something extra special for a treat at dinner time!"

Tim growled in a way that could have been mistaken as a bark, panting and smiling in anticipation for the promised treat, before hopping down and scurrying across the floor, catching the glare from Peepers as he skittered by. The commander's glare widened into an expression of utter fear, as he was pounced, and he began to scream.

If Hater heard his cries for help, he showed no signs of it, as he looked over the ancient, faded text on the scroll. "Weapon of ultimate power, yes yes, rule the galaxy, yeah I got that, curse yada-yada, but WHERE IS IT?"

Words, all were just words blurring together and forming nonsense as he continued to fly through paragraph after paragraph. Sometimes something of importance would catch his eye, but nothing that indicated a location! You know, the REALLY important stuff!

Finally his eyes leapt open wide as he saw something more up his alley.

"Aha! This is more like it!" He cleared his throat as he read it aloud. "'To those of the most pure of heart, the Morning Star lies within your grasp. May greatness come to those that seek Aurona.'

"Peepers, the time has come! We- I mean, YOU just got to find out where this Aurona is, and then- YES, then!- ultimate conquest will finally be in my grasp!"

Behind him, Tim had finally grown bored with his shrieking chew toy, leaving him battered and bruised, but otherwise okay. Peepers stood unsteady on his feet as he straightened the helmet back on his head. He'd only heard part of what Hater had read aloud, but he had at least caught what his boss apparently had overlooked.

The scroll was shoved into Peeper's arms, nearly causing him to topple over backwards, as Hater pushed past him.

"So, yeah, get on that, would ya? Kind of in the mood for taking over the galaxy tonight."

Peepers was busy reading through the scroll himself. "Uh, sir, actually, there miiight be a slight problem with that, you see-"

The commanding watchdog yelped and flinched as Hater spun around and glowered at him.

"Problem? And what might that be, Peepers?" he demanded, hissing out his name.

"W-well sir, it's just, this part right here, 'To those of the most pure of heart, the Morning Star lies within your grasp.' See? It's the, pure of heart thing that might complicate things."

"Eh, details. Besides, nobody really ever follows that sort of prophecy mumbo jumbo ANYway. Like any harm could come from it."

The watchdog had been busy reading over what his boss had carelessly skipped over, as the skeleton had been talking. Peepers was in the middle of one paragraph of interest as he mumbled under his breath.

"Except it explicitly talks about a curse…"

"What was THAT?"

"Oh! Um, yeah, see...See, sir, it actually DOES say harm will come to those that try to grab the Morning Star from its protected alter, if they aren't 'pure of heart'. Paragraph three, line two starts mentioning a curse and...Oh boy, it isn't pretty."

"GIVE me that!"

The commander flinched as the scroll was snatched from his hands, as Hater looked for what his officer had been rambling about. Curse...curse...cur- THERE it was! The overlord read it over to himself, as he at first rolled his eyes. UGH. Stupid scroll with their stupid curses- every ultimate weapon always had to have one, didn't they? How annoying. However, as he continued through the literature, he winced at how graphic it became. 'A thousand years of bad luck, everything you touch instantly turning to dust, all food tasting like processed pork until the end of one's days'?! That...that sounded HORRIBLE!

"So," Hater began, trying to shake off his discomfort, " curse then. Like I'm going to let a simple curse get to me! Fine, they want to play it THAT way? OH, we will SO play it that way! Alright, Peepers, all we got to do is find somebody...'pure of heart', force them to come with us, and make them grab-"

"Except they ALSO have to come willingly, sir."

"FINE! Then we'll ASK them to come with us, and then POLITELY ASK them to grab the-"

It was then that the absurdity of his words kicked in.

"Grr, this is so STUPID! Nobody is ACTUALLY pure of heart! Where the heck are we supposed to find a guy like THAT?!"

Peepers shrugged. "I dunno, sir, it'd take an oblivious airhead without a care in the world to be THAT pure." he scoffed.

Something suddenly clicked inside Hater's mind, and the realization was evident on his face. He grinned sadistically, as his shoulders hunched and he rubbed his palms together. All the pieces were falling into place, as the perfect plan began to form.

"Oblivious airhead, you say? I know just the guy..."

* * *

It had been almost a week since Wander and his zbornak companion had left the carnival of the Rahisitakan homeworld. Most of their travel since had been strolling through space, as they searched for a new planet to visit and explore. Their travels hadn't been completely voidless of life, however, as they had earlier in the day ran into a poor family of four, stuck with a broken down ship. Now, Wander wouldn't consider himself an expert-no siree- but he and his good pal, Sylvia, were pretty handy. And with the nomad's constant need to give a helping hand, the two had set out to repair their broken down engine. The family, in return, insisted giving them a lift.

Which was how the two found themselves on a small uninhabited planet, currently unwinding after days of constant travel.

Wander sighed contently as he felt himself sink deeper into the mud. Oh, oh yes, this felt good. The warm substance hit all the right places, as his worn body relaxed into it; the nomad didn't know why the place was so deserted when they had mud pits THIS good!

"Perfect place for a spa, would'n'cha say Syl?"

"You said it, buddy." replied Sylvia, a genuine smile on her face as she reclined into the pit, eyes closed, hands folded behind her neck. She sighed deeply; running around the galaxy with her best friend was definitely the best way to live life, but she still tended to look forward to the instances in which they truly got to relax.

That smile suddenly fell into a grimace as a familiar and unpleasant scent invaded her nostrils, even over the mud. her eyes shot open and she sat up abruptly in the pit as she looked around to see that they were completely surrounded by-

"Watchdogs..." she grumbled. "It's always gotta be watchdogs, doesn't it? Wander, look alive, we've got company."

"Huh?" The fuzzy nomad lethargically peeped an eye open, before the other one followed. He smiled widely as he took in their guests. "Well hooowdy there, folks! Ya'll come t'take a relaxin' dip, too?"

None of the soldiers answered, as they continued to silently point their weapons at the two companions. Before Sylvia could even THINK about charging out of the pit to kick some eyeball butt, all were taken by surprised by a familiar high pitched cry.

"Alright, guys, step aside. Lord Hater, his greatness, coming through!"

Well...Snarflax.

The thick ring of watchdogs parted to make way for the looming skeletal overlord. Sylvia's fists were already clenched and ready, every muscle in her body ready to pounce or flee, as she watched him closely.

Hater came to a stop four feet away from the pit, his hands behind his back, his face set in a somber frown. Sharp, green eyes glared down at them from under a dark hood.

Peepers was signaling wildly from the side, and he glanced over to see what the problem was now. The watchdog was using his pointer fingers to trace a smile over his eyeball face.

Oh, right, he'd almost forgotten. Uhg.

A forced and awkward smile pulled at the corners of Hater's mouth, and for the love of glorn he hoped it looked friendly.

"Heeey... buddy." Hater nearly choked on the last word.

Sylvia was stunned by this turn of events. Her jaw hung low as she tried to process what the fog-horn was going on.

Wander, however, squealed in delight as he lept out of the pit-splashing mud- immediately wrapped his sopping, filthy self around the overlord in a big ol' hug.

"Oooo! Hater, it's been so so looong! How ya doin', pal? Boy, have I missed yer grinnin' self, you!"

It took everything in Hater's power to not just throw the orange living mop of muddy fur off of him, as he remained smiling- his left eye only slightly twitching.

"Oh yes, and I've missed you, too, paaaal." he replied between clenched teeth. He patted his most hated enemy on the head, and it took a lot of restraint not to pat a lot harder.

"So heeey, you're a helpful guy, right? How about helping your ... friend... Hater out, huh?"

Sylvia's shock wore off and she scowled at Hater, stomping up out of the mud and glaring up at him, her arms folded over her chest.

"Don't listen to 'im, Wander. He's up to something."

"Up to something?" The nomad raised a brow at her, before turning back to the skeleton and smiling even brighter. "Of course he's up t'something, Syl! Sounds like he's goin' on some sort of adventure if he needs our help."

"No, Wander. That's not what I mean! I MEAN is that, that no good son of a marchnuffler wants to-"

Hater cut her off as he distracted Wander by actually hugging him.

"WANT TO TAKE YOU ALONG, YEAH! Your zbornak buddy is, like, TOTALLY right there! See, uh...pal, there is this old relic that talks about great power. You know, standard stuff. BUT, it sorta kinda has one tiiiiny catch to it… Only nice...uh, people like you can actually GET to it."

Wander smiled flirtatiously.

"You seem rather nice to me, if ya know what I mean. Boik boik."

And that was just too much. Hater's smile faltered and threatened to turn back into a scowl, as he inwardly cringed.

"Don't do that." he mumbled.

"Great power, huh?" Sylvia challenged. "You mean like taking over the galaxy kind of power? Hah! Like we'd help you do THAT."

Hater flinched.

"What- no! Uh, it's the uh, helpful kind of power! Full off... helping, and goodness, and, um... friendship?" He hoped that would sell it, because he was quickly running out of good things he knew about.

Wander gasped. "Hater! I just knew you had it in ya t'be a good fella!"

Sylvia was less impressed. She grabbed Wander and yanked him back to her side. "For GLORN sake, Wander, don't tell me you're actually buyin' this load of grop!"

The nomad looked over at the skeleton overlord, who was busy grinning as wide as he could. Hater waved, and Wander squealed again.

"Sure I do, Syl! Just look at that smile! Now, does THAT look like the face of a guy that wants to cause any trouble?"

Meanwhile, Hater had to stop himself from twitching again. He noted Peepers had just walked into his peripheral vision, as he hissed at him through a clenched smiling jaw.

"Peeeepers," the skeleton whined, "how much LONGER do I have to DO this? My face is starting to HURT."

"Just a little more, sir. I think they're starting to buy it."

The zbornak glared as she looked at the two of them from where she was at. She didn't trust them. She didn't trust anything about them. Heck, she thought Hater and his watchdogs were the type of people that would run their mother over with a bus, if they thought it was beneficial somehow. Or if the big baby had his diaper twisted in a knot. And she was about to say all of this TOO, as she turned her focus back towards her buddy….As Wander looked up at her with big ol' puppy dog eyes.

"Siiigh. You're going to go help Hater out no matter WHAT I say, aren't you?"

Wander didn't say anything to this, but Sylvia knew it to be true.

"Fine, ALRIGHT! I'll follow along. But ONLY because I still think they are up to no good and want to be there to beat the glorb out of them if they try anything funny."

That was good enough for Wander. Sporting an impossibly wide grin, he stepped forward, and grabbed one of Hater's hands, pumping it up and down so rapidly the skeleton found himself worried his arm might pop off again.

"Count us in, Lord Hater! We'll gladly help ya find your thingamawhozit! Race ya back to the ship!"

Hater watched as his enemy dashed away, then stopped, jogging in place. "Where'd ya park?" he called back. He didn't wait for a reply before he took off again. "Never mind! I'll find it!"

What was left of Hater's fake smile vanished, dread and anger boiling in his gut as there was a distant crashing sound, followed by the ship's alarm.

"I FOUND IT!" came Wander's voice, barely audible over the shrieking alarm.

Sylvia was grinning again, all tension she'd been feeling, gone. She slowly made her way toward the direction her friend had gone, glancing at Hater and smirking as she passed him.

"Well? What are ya waiting for? Let's go... pal. Ahaha."

Hater was beginning to wonder if "willing" conflicted with vaporizing the two of them, just so he wouldn't have to put up with their nonsense anymore. Already he felt his wits were at their end, and it had only been...what? Ten minutes? Five? How was he going to put up with this for the duration of the mission?!

With a sigh, the skeleton overlord followed suit- his army marching behind him in formation, with Peepers by his side.

"Find them a spare room or something, Peepers. One of the suites, I honestly don't care WHERE as long as you keep them away from me. Just because I'm going to have to put up with him when we're on Aurona doesn't mean I'm going to put up with him while on MY ship. Understood?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Lord Hater didn't have confidence in those words.


	3. The Pest

****

* * *

Wander had expected there to be a bit more excitement.

That wasn't to say things WEREN'T exciting. Since arriving on the large skull ship of his favorite skeleton- and after he and his zbornak companion were oh so kindly escorted to their room- the living furball had made haste and explored every inch of the suite. Wander found joy in looking through the dressers, peeking under the black cover and sheets of the bed, and reading every title of every book on the bookshelf.

Leaving the nomad, once he finished, with nothing else to do.

Meanwhile, Sylvia had been using this time to relax on the bed-stretching out as much as she could. Oh, oh yeah. It had been a real long time since she had laid on a mattress last. She might not have trusted Hater much, and pretty much just considered the suite a more elaborately decorated prison cell...But hey, she was going to take the perks from that no good zapflaggin' overlord using them for his own purposes.

"Sometimes I wonder why you bother giving that jerk the time of day, Wander." Sylvia began, lazily. "I know, I know, you're all about giving the benefit of the doubt, and yeah, I know you believe everyone has some good in them, but come on, buddy. This is Lord Hater we're talkin' about, here. Guy's got about as much good in him as... well, Lord Hater!"

When she was met with silence, rather than the enthusiastic speech she was expecting, she opened one eye, then the other. She looked around the room. The empty room. The door was ajar, and she was alone. Sylvia sighed.

"Guess I should go find him." She snuggled into the mattress beneath her. "In a minute."

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the ship, a certain scoundrel had finally found an outlet for his pent-up anger.

The little pixelated Wander on the screen screamed as the pixelated Hater zapped him with lightning, and Hater jutted a bony fist into the air, grinning for real now.

"YES! Take THAT, Waaaandeeer. You like that, BUDDY? HA! HERE'S ANOTHER!"

When the little nomad on the screen finally toppled over in a heap, and the words "DEAD" flashed across the screen in deep red letters, much of his frustration left his body with the maniacal cackle that erupted from him.

"Yes, GOOD! First time I think I've ever got him...One more round, and I'll finally BEAT this stupid game!"

Hater, after grinning widely as he watched the replay on his finishing move, twitched his fingers as he waited for the countdown to begin. The moment the counter reached zero, the skeleton began button mashing like crazy. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B. The overlord continued to press down on the B-button, as he charged up his ultimate attack- preparing himself to vaporize his pixelated enemy once and for all. He chanted excitedly as he watched the meter fill itself.

"Yes, yes, YES!"

"Well WHAT do we have here!"

The sound that escaped the overlord was somewhere between a gasp and a scream. He stared in horror at the little cretin who was suddenly, inexplicably, sitting beside him.

He continued to stare, as Wander swiped up the player 2 controller and examined it.

"Aw Hater, don't tell me you're in here playin' all by your lonesome! Here, I'd be happy to play with you."

"NO! Give me that!" Hater dove, but he was too late. The little Wander darted across the screen, and wrapped its arms around the charging skeleton in a big, warm, disgusting hug, disrupting his attack and knocking his health down to below half.

He did manage to swipe the controller away, as he glared down at Wander. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

Hater took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Relax. He had to relax. He just had to be nice a little bit longer, and he'd finally be rid of Wander and Sylvia for good. It was worth it. It was. Worth it.

Wander, meanwhile, looked up apologetically at his host.

"Gee, Hater, I'm sorry if I was intrudin' on your alone time. I was just busy exploring your ship- I didn't know it was possible, but this place is even MORE amazin' than the LAST time!- when I suddenly started wonderin' why I hadn't seen any of ya'll since we got here. An' then THAT made me wonder if you were possibly lonely and needing your good ol' buddy Wander t'fill the void!"

The nomad looked back at the screen, where he frowned.

"And BOY, must you be especially lonesome an' needin' a friend if yer in yer room, playin' a two player vidya-game all by yourself! Oh, poooor Hater! And one with us in it too? If ya needed a hug THAT badly, I one hundred percent guarantee that the real thing is MUCH better!" Wander stretched out his arms invitingly. "Cooome on, Hater, reel it in!"

Hater recoiled from the offered hug as if it were deadly poison, and lept off of the bed. He could not take another hug. He looked down at the unwanted guest, wearing an expression he hoped looked friendlier than he was feeling.

"I don't need a hug. What I NEED, is a little alone time, to cool down, and play video games, which was TOTALLY a one-player game until YOU showed up, by the way-"

From behind him, the television began beeping, signalling that time was running out on the game. Hater spun around, his face wore an expression of panic. "No, no, no! I'm so CLOSE!" he began button mashing for all he was worth.

Wander smiled knowingly.

"Alone time, goootcha. I understand, pal. That's okay, I'll come back later then. I think, fer now, I'mma gonna explore the rest of this neat place!"

The nomad strolled his way towards the door, the sounds of Hater's game blaring from the speakers as the skeleton continued to play on. He turned around at the last second, cheerfulness exploding from him as he called out to his host- making him jump.

"LATER HATER!"

With a slam of the door, Hater was left alone once more. The overlord stared at the screen in disbelief, as the monitor taunted his bruised ego with two simple words- game over.

Hater then found himself with a very broken television, as he forcefully threw his controller at the screen.

* * *

A wide buffet of various foods from the ship's food court lay spread out on the long table before Hater, who sat slumped in his chair at the far end. Peepers had ordered one of everything from there, in hopes something would pique his boss' interest.

"Come on sir, you should really try and eat SOMEthing... doesn't any of this look good?" Peepers questioned from beside him.

Hater was too frazzled, too annoyed, too backed up with rage to scold the guy for giving him an order.

"I'm not hungry, Peepers." he mumbled, instead.

His third in command looked up at him, in what could have been taken as a sympathetic expression. It was hard to tell with a guy without a face, honestly.

"Is it because of Wander and Sylvia being on the ship? Running free, and you can't really do anything about i-eep."

The glare Hater shot at him was enough to shut him up.

Peepers sighed in defeat. "Well, I'll leave you to it." He reached up and slid the plate of fresh ribs closer to his boss, before leaving. Maybe he'd decide to nibble if he was left alone.

Hater continued his pouting...even after his third in command let him be. In all honesty, he was almost feeling...ill from his bottling of emotions- his own hate, for the first time, feeling toxic. The skeleton was used to instantly shooting his negative feelings outward, leaving HIM feeling better and whomever he yelled at feeling WORSE. So, in his opinion, his current quest was beginning to feel like more trouble than it was worth. Heck, he had a huge stack of honey barbecued ribs right in front of his face- his absolute favorite- and he didn't even have the appetite for them!

The overlord felt his stomach - or what would otherwise pass on his anatomy as a stomach- growl.

Okay, so maybe he had the appetite after all. Hater found a small smile working its way onto his face, as the skeleton stretched his clawed gloves towards the plate. He picked up the slabs of meat, ready to bite into it...when he stopped himself. Sudden paranoia struck him, as Hater searched the room for any signs of an orange furred pest.

The skeletal overlord looked to the left.

No Wander.

A quick glance to the right….still no Wander.

Hater sighed, finally relaxing his tensed body in one big exhale. He brought the ribs up to his mouth once more, fully intending on devouring every last bite.

"Whatcha got there, Hater?"

The ribs clattered back down onto his plate as he craned around, and up, to see Wander perched on the top of his dining chair, smiling down at him with that infuriatingly friendly grin.

"But how- but when- you were-"

"Well that sure is a long, fancy name for a food! How do you pronounce it again, bow-buhwen-yewer? Am I close?"

"Nice spread! Hater, you really shouldn't have."

Hater spun back around in his chair in time to see Sylvia standing on the table, downing platefuls of food at a time.

"HEY! That is MY food!" Hater bellowed, although it came out as more of a whine than intended.

"Oh, I'm sorry...Was that YOURS?" The zbornak lightly slapped the side of her face in faux-astonishment. She then shrugged it off with a smile, before picking up another plate of food- this one filled with a pile of burgers. She grabbed one off the top before stuffing it in her mouth. "Eh, these things happen. You understand, don't you PAL?"

Hater could practically feel steam coming out from the sides of his head, as his hands sparked from rage. The skeleton raised his arms, ready to fry the alien steed in front of him for the terrible insult...When he was surprised by the sudden large grinning face just inches from his own. Startled, he flinched back as his powers immediately dispersed with a small crackle and pop.

"Pssst, Hater, " Wander whispered to him, cupping the side of his mouth so only the overlord could hear him, "Did yer alone time help ya out any? You know...with yer 'playing with yerself', if-ya-know-what-I-mean? I know I sometimes need t'be left alone t'take care of things, myself. "

The expression on Hater's face was as unreadable as his feelings on this situation were mixed. He found himself pressed as far into the back of the chair as far as he could go, his instincts telling him that having his most hated, most dangerous enemy so close to his face was not a winning strategy.

He also found himself mildly surprised that Wander had just admitted to actually enjoying being alone from time to time. Well, he could cross "solitary confinement" off the list of possible torture methods.

"No it didn't help!" Hater snapped at last. "You ruined it! I was almost there and you RUINED it!"

Wander was quiet for a moment, the skeleton honestly surprised by this development. The orange ball of walking fur shyly looked away, as he cleared his thought. When he did find his voice once more, it was far too husky for Hater's liking.

"Oh, HATER. If you needed help beating it THAT badly...I would have been MORE than happy t'help you out."

Hater's eye twitched and he frowned deeply. That, right there. That was one of the many reasons why this fuzzy doorstop infuriated him so much. The way he said simple things in a tone or with an inflection that insinuated he knew something you didn't. Like Wander was a part of some galaxy-wide joke that everyone but Hater knew about and they were all laughing at HIM.

Hater's fists clenched, his teeth began to grind, his anger had reached its boiling point, here it comes, no holding it back now. He shot up out of his chair, nearly knocking Wander off the back of it, and pumped his fists in the air.

"I! DO NOT! NEED! YOUR! HELP!" he roared. Suddenly his eyes shot open, and he lowered his arms. "Uh... I mean, I still need you to get the weapon of ultimate power and stuff, but I don't, I don't need help with- UHG, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?!"

And with that, the hulking overlord stomped away from the table and out of the room, mumbling to himself, still hungry but far too angry to stay.

Sylvia had barely been paying attention to the conversation between the two, as she had made her way through not one, two or three courses...but twelve. She raised a brow as she watched the big baby leave. The zbornak then turned her attention to her companion, giving a look that practically asked: 'what's his problem?'

Wander just shook his head, a small smile on his face as he whispered one last time.

"Needed s'more private time, I guess."

* * *

Bubbles. Everything was better with bubbles. Sure, it was really hard to be an intimidating bringer of destruction when you were surrounded up to your ribcage in bright pink bubbles… But hey, Hater wasn't trying to impress anybody.

The skeleton sunk a little deeper into the bathtub of his private master bathroom, as the warm water seeped its way through his crevices and did its thing. Tension began to disappear, as all Hater focused on was how good the heat felt against his creaky bones. He leaned back, deeper and deeper; and soon all his body was submerged under the water- leaving just his eyes and horns poking out of the sea of foam.

Hater absent mindedly popped a bubble in front of his face, feeling a sense of satisfaction from its demise.

Hater immediately regretted the murder of the innocent bubble. Confusion fogged his brain as a much bigger bubble began slowly rising out of the water less than a foot away. Presumably to get revenge for its fallen ally.

This bubble was orange and fuzzy and holy mother of grob that wasn't a bubble. Two large, bright eyes surfaced, followed by a wide, toothy grin. Hater wanted to scream, but found terror had paralyzed his vocal cords, and tightened around his ribcage, forbidding him to do more than stare in slack-jawed, fear stricken awe.

The scream finally managed to claw its way out of his tightened throat, as Wander's arm rose out of the water beside him, he was clutching something, Hater cringed.

This was it. This was how it ended. Brutally beaten to death, naked, in his bathtub, by his most hated enemy, with a...

A loofah?

"Need help with yer back, Hater?" Wander innocently asked, completely blinded as his wet fur truly made him resemble a dirty mop. "I don' know 'bout YOU, but I know *I* can't always reach that far. Arms practically noodles, n' things like that are STILL impossible for me!"

Hater didn't even have a reply as he stared. Time ticked by, as the situation became more and more awkward with every passing second. And still, the skeletal overlord could only stare...and stare some more. Finally, Hater found his voice, as he calmly began to talk in almost a sing-song tone of voice.

"Waaaander, " he began, " queeestion."

"Yyyeees, buddy?"

"What. Are you. DOING IN MY TUB?!"

The drenched nomad shook the loofah, splashing some drops off its end while doing so.

"Isn' it OB-vious? I'm here t'help you relax and feel all meeellow."

Clawed hands shot out and grabbed Wander, yanking him in until he was inches from Hater's smouldering glare. He shook the sopping creature as he yelled into his face. "I-TOLD-YOU-I-DON'T-NEED-ANY-HELP!"

Commander Peepers had never been known for having convenient timing, but he'd never before regretted that unfortunate trait as much as he did at that moment in time. He stood in the doorway to the bathroom, utterly repulsed by what he was seeing. His boss, naked, with a sopping wet Wander inches from his face, were they about to kiss or what, oh ew, so ew, he did not get paid enough for this.

He not only averted his eye, but held both hands up to shield his peripheral vision, as well, as he cleared his throat.

"Uh... Lord Hater, sir, we're approaching Aurona. Just thought you'd like to know, so, whenever you're... done here. I'll just. Sorry."

It was the quickest exit he had ever made; he was already scurrying back down the hall.

"Sheesh, I didn't realize 'being nice' to the guy involved... whatever that was." he muttered to himself.

Back in the crowded bathtub, Hater was just beginning to realize how...compromising the whole affair was. Immediately releasing Wander, he used one hand to cover up his chest, as he pointed a bony finger towards the exit his third in command had just ran out of.

"Out, " Hater cried. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

"Sheesh, sooomebody should have had a nap instead. But, okey dokey! I wanna go see what this 'Aurona' looks like anyway." With a big splash, the nomad climbed out of the tub- bringing a large portion of the water with him. He made sploshing and squeaking noises with every step- the skeleton realizing that Wander had been wearing his shoes the whole time. Once at the opened entrance, the nomad turned back around and waved.

"See ya when you get out- later Hater!"

Leaving Hater completely alone. Officially these were his last remaining moments of the closest thing to "peace" he had since starting his trip, before he was forced to do the same song and dance all over again.

He honestly didn't know who's sweet demise he was wanting more now: Wander's?

Or his own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you guys are interested... we also animated the bath scene. You can watch it HERE:
> 
> <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmhVTCTTlcA>


	4. The Pits

** **

* * *

Peepers stood proudly in front of the monitor, as he and his overlord's...guests waited for the skeleton to arrive. The three of them stood around quietly on the observation deck, the third in command using the remote in his hand to lightly smack the other as he felt the time tick by. He passed a quick glance over at the door, and then back to his watch as he wondered what was taking his boss so long.

Meanwhile, the orange nomad had been busy drying himself off- using the bright pink towel his hat had provided for him. Wander hummed to himself, as he wrung the cloth against the tufts on his rear as he jiggled about.

Sylvia found amusement in this as she decided to ask her question again, still not believing what her friend had told her.

"So you just...got right in there with him?"

Wander was busy wrapping the towel around atop his head like a fuzzy pink turban.

"Well, it woulda' been difficult to lend a helpin' hand if I WASN'T in the tub, doncha' think?" he replied with a friendly smirk and a subtle roll of his eyes.

This created another bout of laughter from Sylvia.

"Oh! Oh that is just golden! I can't believe I missed the LOOK on that guy's face!"

The zbornak was doubled over- she was laughing so hard.

From behind them, Hater cleared his throat loudly, late to the party. Peepers was relieved he'd finally showed up; he wasn't enjoying the recounting of this particular story nearly as much as Sylvia was.

"Fashionably late, as usual." mumbled the third in command to himself.

Hater stood, looking up at the monitors, his countenance set in a decidedly irritated frown, his bony arms crossed stiffly over his chest. He kept his gaze on the screens, a dense forest taking predominance over most of them, so he wouldn't have to look at Peepers.

"Well?" he grunted. "What am I looking at?"

"GLAD you asked, sir," the commander perked up- always happy to get to show off his data collecting skills. "THIS...is the main surface of Aurona. It seems to be primarily deciduous forests, with some tundras closer to its poles. HOWEVER, those aren't important-what IS important, is the main cluster of trees HERE. After reviewing what was written in the scroll, it indicates that there should be a pyramid-esque structure in the thick of it.

"However…"

And there Peepers paused. Hater found himself growing irritated- there was always SOMETHING when it came to that guy. The skeleton was about to demand the watchdog spit it out already, when he was surprised by the zbornak beating him to the punch.

"Yeah, 'but what'? By this rate we'll be here all day!"

The commander sighed, as he pushed the button on his remote. The screen shifted to a scaled model of the forest and the ship.

"I was GOING to say: 'Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any way we can get close to the structure.' See, there isn't any space with a big enough clearing of plant life for us to land there- nor is the ship narrow enough to squeeze through. Honestly, I don't see how we're getting there without blowing up the whole dang place!"

Hater's face was unimpressed and deadpan. He shrugged without uncrossing his arms.

"So why is it still there, Peepers?"

Peepers stared at him blankly for a second. "I'm, not following, sir."

The skeletal overlord couldn't possibly glare any sharper or scowl any deeper. He was quickly losing patience, and the only thing keeping him semi-calm was the underlying promise of galactic domination so close at hand.

"There are trees in the way, oh no! How ever is our ship full of war-ready missiles going to get past them?" Hater whined, sarcastically.

Peepers looked back, half-lidded and mildly annoyed at being made fun of.

"Right." he turned to the control panel. "Locking on target now."

"WAAAIT!"

All were surprised by a sudden cry, as a furry orange nomad popped up in front of the screen. The now dry, and sans-pink turban Wander stood with his arms widespread. There was a frown on his face.

"Now I'm sorry, But I REFUSE to let you destroy the poor defenseless trees. It just ain't sitting RIGHT with me."

Peepers had gone pinwheeling backwards after Wander had suddenly popped up in front of him; he wasn't taking any chances on the crazy fuzzball trying to kiss him, too. Now a safe distance away, he stood defiantly and glowered.

"Trees? You're against hurting trees, too? Unbelievable! That's-" the yappy commander was silenced by a well aimed glare from his boss.

It was easy to tell that the stubborn nomad certainly didn't look very willing right now. Oh, how Hater was beginning to hate that word.

"Alright, fine." he practically spit the words out. "We won't hurt the trees, then. SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH?!"

If the skeletal overlord thought he had issues with the word, he had even MORE issues with how the nomad was currently look at him- a wide grin eating up most of his fur covered face. THAT was a beam he had grown used to- a look that told him misery was about to pull him in by the horns and drag him off to whatever direction Wander wanted.

"Well, " Wander began as he inched his way closer, " I don't got any pretty pictures or charts like our buddy Peepers here...But I DO have an idea!"

Hater just knew he was going to regret this.

* * *

Hater regretted everything. All of it. He regretted not letting Peepers blow up the forest. He regretted that he set out upon this mission to find the Morning Star, instead of just destroying Wander and Sylvia and moving on with his evil life. Lord Hater despised every decision he ever made in his life, that somehow led up to the current point in time.

It had been only about fifteen minutes since the overlord's ship was parked outside the entrance of the woods- the closest spot to the Great Pyramid of the Morning Star they could get to. Wander had made the suggestion of walking there. And, man, did the skeleton just LOATHE the idea alone. Hater was not built for the land travel life that the two nomads lived. His crew flew him everywhere, and when they did he usually only had to walk a couple yards before he sat down on his newly acquired thrown- before he started doing his whole dictating spiel to his victims. And when he wasn't doing any of THAT, Hater was just on his ship playing video games, sharpening his weapons, and so on.

So it hadn't been long before the overlord found Wander's nonstop chatter adding to the frustration of his already aching bones.

Most of what spewed from the fuzzy nuisance's jabbering maw was tuned out, eventually becoming nothing more than a constant, mildly irritating droning sound against the background of Lord Hater's thoughts. Not unlike the whine of a pesky mosquito, he found himself thinking. In fact, he mused, Wander himself was a lot like a mosquito. A tiny pest that the whole galaxy would be better off without, but was impossible to get rid of, and smacking it always ended up with you yourself getting smacked, while the insect continued to mock you with its incessant buzzing in your ear. Reminding you of how badly you had failed, time and time again, to extinguish the little monster.

The chattering had stopped. It had actually stopped. That alone was enough to make him pause and look up... to see both Wander and Sylvia looking at him, expectantly. Oh, grop. Had they asked him a question?

"...Huh?" Hater asked, dumbly.

"I said, doesn't that tree look like a cute little bunny? I mean, sorta, if you use your imagination some. See, there are its ears, and then its little feet are down here, and its fluffy little tail-"

"ALL OF THESE TREES LOOK THE SAME!" Hater screamed. A few shadowy creatures fluttered off into the distance, startled by the sudden outburst.

Wander and Sylvia stared at Hater in silence for a short while. Finally, Wander broke the awkward silence.

"Well, it looks like someone needs to learn how to use their imagination."

That unsettling, toothy grin was back, as Wander was suddenly holding his Banjo.

"Don't bother, Wander. I don't think that guy HAS an imagination." Sylvia mumbled.

"That's just silly talk, Sylvia. EVERYone has an imagination!" he strummed the strings on his banjo slowly, seemingly at random.

This did nothing but deepen Hater's sour mood. He wasn't seriously going to start singing, right in the middle of this creepy, foreboding forest, was he?

_"Ooooh~"_

Oh dear grob, he WAS!

_"I've been around the block, they say_

_And this, I can't deny_

_Smilin' 'round the universe_

_An' all the people ask me whyyyy…"_

Hater found himself stumbling backwards, almost knocking over poor Peepers who was busy carrying all their supplies, as the skeleton suddenly found the nomad sitting on his shoulder-very much like a parrot. Wander smiled even wider, as he began to play his banjo faster.

_"Well, who wouldn't when they see_

_All the things that gives me glee_

_When you simply count to three_

_An' use your imagination!_

_"Like bunnies, cats, birds an' the bees_

_The floor is lava, an' now the seas_

_They all appear, if you please_

_Just use your imagination!"_

The skeletal overlord almost found himself tripping and falling, when Wander jumped off his shoulder and landed right in front of him. Hater and the others stopped, as the nomad began to dance around him, still playing the same fast and upbeat tune. Hater threw a look to Sylvia, almost pleading for her to stop him, but she just seemed far too amused by his discomfort.

What a flarffin' b-

"And what about YOU, Hater?" Wander interrupted the skeleton's thoughts, as he directed a question at him in a sing-song sort of voice. "What do YOU like to imagine about?"

"The sweet destruction and demise of my most hated enemies."

The nomad frowned, as he suddenly stopped playing.

"Well THAT'S certainly a lil' dark, wouldn'tcha say?"

"Oh, and I suppose the ground being hot molten lava is all sunshine and roses, huh?!"

This brought the huge grin back to Wander's face, as he began to play again.

_"Fair enough! 'Cause you'll see_

_On this, I won't disagree_

_Happiness is different fer you n' me_

_An' this, ya know, is the key_

_When it comes t' setting free_

_That pure imagination!_

_"Yes, you heard it all from me_

_Now the not-so-royal decree_

_Just let out yer inner 'YIPPEE!'_

_And use that imagination!"_

Hater was very grateful when the song was over, and all was quiet once more. He gave out a sigh, thanking whatever long forgotten gods that must have taken mercy on him. The skeleton was starting to get his mental footing once more, feeling the awkwardness he had found from the orange nomad being all over him beginning to pass...When the silence was broken once more.

"Sooo," Wander began, this time finding himself riding on his zbornak's back again-Hater did not recall even seeing him climbing up there. "What ARE we retrievin' anyway? Not that I mind what it is, one way or the other- gosh I'm just glad t'be goin' on this lil' adventure with ya'll at all!- I'm jus' wonderin' fer curiosity's sake."

Hater's feet were screaming at him to stop, and his pounding head was screaming at everyone to shut up. Did Wander have something against the quiet? Was the nomad incapable of more than three consecutive seconds of silence at a time?

Hater grit his teeth, shut his eyes tightly, and counted to ten- Wander's repeated question confirming his theory he couldn't stay quiet for more than three- and sighed.

"It's a sceptre called 'the Morning Star', that grants whoever wields it ultimate power to take- uh, to spread love and happiness across the galaxy." Hater mumbled, so quickly most of the words ran together.

"Sounds like a de-LIGHT-ful lil' wand, if ya ask me." Wander replied, not noticing the skeleton's verbal slip.

This caused Hater to stop in his tracks, as he threw a glare at the nomad.

"Sceptre."

"Hmm, what was that?"

"It's a SCEPTRE! A totally awesome powerful rod, foretold by generations of multiple civilizations-NOT a dainty little fairy wand!"

Wander raised a brow.

"Isn't a rod like a stick?"

"No."

"But the Morning Star is magical, right?"

"Yes!"

"Liiike a magic wish granting wand?"

"NO NOT LIKE A MAGIC WISH GRANTING WAND!" Hater bellowed, stomping both feet on the ground like a child in the middle of a tantrum.

Wander shrugged and smiled. "Well, okay, if you say so. I'm just sayin that it sounds an awful lot like a-"

And just like that, both Wander and Sylvia were gone. Vanished. Hater stopped dead and he gaped at the empty space where the two nomads used to be, causing Peepers to collide into him, dropping most of their things. But Hater barely noticed.

A smile, a genuine smile, slowly began to creep across the overlord's face.

"Yes." He was free.

"Yes!" They were gone.

"YES! AT LONG LAST! I-" He still needed Wander to get his wand- sceptre!

"NOOO!"

Hater dashed over to where they'd been seconds before, kicking up dead leaves and twigs as he did so. He almost didn't stop in time to avoid tumbling down the same hole Wander and Sylvia had, leaving him wobbling and pinwheeling over the side of it.

Regaining his footing, Hater looked down and saw the two nomads clinging to a root, sticking out of the side of one of the ditch's walls. At the bottom of the pit, laid hundreds of coiling, hissing snakes, with gleaming fangs and colorful scales.

"Don't just stand there, moron! Pull us up!" Sylvia screamed up at him.

Usually the overlord would have found himself retorting with an insult himself- how DARE the beast of burden call him a moron!- however, Hater noted the root was beginning to break under their weight. Going by instinct alone, the skeleton quickly turned around as he began throwing orders at his third in command.

"Peepers, rope!"

"Oh, er, right sir! Just let me look in the-"

"NOW, Peepers, NOW! GIVE ME A ROPE, NOW!"

Peepers did just as he was ordered, taking the required object from the clip off the front of his travel bag. He threw it to his boss, who expertly caught it. Holding onto one end, he lassoed it above his head, before throwing it down the pit. He braced himself for the sudden tug he knew he was going to feel-however, his eyes shot open as he began to skid forward a little. Peepers, luckily, noticed this as he too grabbed onto the rope and began to pull.

"GEEZE," the skeleton cried, " how much do you WEIGH?!"

"Zip it and just pull us up, ya knob!" Sylvia retorted.

A ton, Hater decided, maybe two, as he slid closer and closer to the pit.

After what seemed like an eternity, the force pulling him into the pit of doom let up, and he opened his eyes he didn't realize had been screwed shut in his efforts to pull the pests to safety. Wander and Sylvia were both up and perfectly fine, and both Hater and Peepers let out a heavy sigh of relief, slumped over, exhausted.

Unfortunately, the overlord was now practically hovering over the pit, only his heels keeping him safely on land, and the hard pat on his back from the zbornak sent him tumbling forward- down into the hissing pit of snakes.

"Hey, thanks, pal! You sure- whoops."

"SIR!" Peepers yelled.

"Hater!" Wander yelped.

"...I know what you guys are thinking, but that was totally an accident." confessed Sylvia, as all three of them peered down into the hole at their fallen friend.

Hater, however, was screaming as he felt fangs try to pierce through his bones. He continued to sink deeper and deeper into the pit filled with squirming bodies, his torso quickly being swallowed up. In no time at all, he found the snakes up to his chest.

"DO SOMETHING!" he cried.

The skeleton felt the snakes moving around under his robes, and felt himself growing even more sickened by a few going far too close to slipping through the leg space of his undergarment. Hater didn't have much time to think about it, however, as he had much more pressing matters- like the fact he was engulfed by slithering scales. The overlord clawed, as he tried to swim back to the surface.

It was then that Hater remembered something very important.

Oh, powers. DUH.

Hater sparked, propelling electricity from his hands with intense force- feeling more like an explosion than anything else. When he felt the bodies still squirming, though noticeably slower than before, it was then that he realized what the creatures were. Boulder baskilli- snakes made from stone.

Knowing this did NOT make him feel any better.

What DID make him feel better, was a sudden tug on his wrist, as he felt himself being pulled towards the surface once more. He took in a gasp of air, even despite the fact he didn't need to breathe, once his head was above the snakes. It was with another great yank that he felt himself flying out of the pit and his face smacking into the wall. He peeled himself away from the yellow dirt, as he looked upwards-his head spinning as he saw multiple orange blurs smiling down at him from the top.

"Don't worry, Hater, we gotcha!" Hater realized it was Wander talking, just as he turned away from the skeleton to talk to the others behind him. "One more pull, guys!"

A collective grunt and yank later, Hater was safely back up top. He laid with his chest pressed to the ground, panting, trying to overcome the trauma he'd just endured.

This was all a nightmare. It just had to be. That was the only valid explanation.

Peepers was whining about something. Wasn't he always? He sounded worried. Didn't he always? Just another mosquito as far as Hater was concerned.

Wander was talking, too. Nothing new, there. Hater heard none of this. He had tuned the whole world out as he climbed to his feet, expression stoic and set. He gripped the snake that was still clinging to his jaw, yanked it off, and chucked it back into the pit. Two more clung to his robe, and they, too, were disposed of.

Suddenly, the skeletal overlord whipped around, eyes blazing, jaw set in furious scowl, intend on stopping the buzzing once and for all.

"WILL! YOU! ALL! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"

And they did, indeed, shut up.

Hater stood there, panting, his anger and frustration roiling and seething much in the same way those accursed snakes in that pit that had almost consumed him moments before.

It was then he noticed the fuzzy orange nomad standing in front of him, peering up at him with wide eyes. For once he was not smiling, and he was holding up a square box with a red medical cross on the front. At first Hater thought it was being offered to him, but he soon realized Wander seemed to be holding it in front of him, defensively.

This may have been the closest thing Hater would ever see to fear on Wander's stupid little face, and yet he was unable to enjoy it. The little monster had taken that from him, too, somehow.

A moment later, he'd realized he had been lucky to have seen it at all, as it was replaced with a smile almost instantly, the case lowered, and he was pounced upon.

"I guess that means we're BOTH each other's heroes, huh, Hater?"

Wander chuckled, hanging from his neck like a gaudy, furry necklace. The nomad was grabbed and discarded in the same way the snakes were, and the skeleton trudged on ahead, not much caring at this point if they were going to follow or not.

* * *

Hours...It had been hours, and still there had been nothing but trees and the yellow dirt path. Sometimes the trail would require them to make a turn, but even then everything would look the same as the corner they just turned from. Every bone in his body ached, and the pain was enough to add fuel to his already aggravated nerves. He was tired, he was hurting, and he was beyond tense from the over exposure to his most hated enemies.

How much longer until they found the stupid place?!

Hater was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of his third in command.

"Huh, starting to get dark, isn't it?"

The skeleton threw a look towards the sky- the clouds going from purplish hues to orange ones, as the sun was starting to set. UGH, great, that means they had been walking even LONGER than he had thought!

"Yeah, so? Shuddup and keep walking, Peepers."

"But, sir, do you really think that's wise? Not only have we've been going at it all day, but the night cover could be potentially dangerous. Aurona is said to become almost pitch black once the sun sets, and what if we can't see where we are going? There could be wild predators, or, heck, you might fall down another pi-"

The watchdog found himself crying out in alarm as the skeletal overlord suddenly turned around, glaring as he loomed over him threateningly.

"Are you QUESTIONING MY ORDERS?! We. Are. WALKING! I want to get this trip OVER with!"

Silence fell between them, until Peepers spoke up again.

"So I guess we're just going to leave the key and his steed behind, huh?"

Hater stopped.

"What is that supposed to-"

Peepers pointed behind them, to where Wander and Sylvia had stopped, and seemed to be in the process of unpacking a few things.

What was left of the evening sun helped cast a large shadow over the two nomads, and they looked up to see Hater towering over them, looking no more thrilled than he had earlier.

"Oh, look who decided to join us." Sylvia greeted, flatly.

"Hey, Hater! I hope you brought your sleepin' bag!"

"A sleeping bag? WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SLEEPING ON THIS TRIP?!"

The zbornak rolled her eyes.

"We did. Look, your nastiness," Hater's glare intensified over this, but Sylvia obviously wasn't phased as she continued, " We've been at this all day. Wander's tired, I'M tired. And you guys don't look much better, yourselves. So YOU can go and be stupid all you want and continue, for all I care; but, WE'RE staying here for the rest of the night. And THAT'S final."

The overlord was about to say something to this, when he was interrupted by Wander suddenly jumping in front of his face, holding a bag of marshmallows.

"And there will be s'moooores~"

Hater grabbed the bag, before throwing it on the ground. He then threw his head back as he began to yell-his hands sparking from frustration.

"I. Don't. CARE ABOUT S'MORES! I don't CARE about sleeping. I am NOT tired. I am NOT hungry. I JUST WANT THE MORNING STAR!"

It was then that Hater was silenced, as his stomach let forth a huge growl. Oh, that's right, he never did get to eat earlier because his lunch was interrupted. The skeleton felt dread begin to eat at him, as he realized the orange furred nomad was giving him a knowing look.

"I say your stomach begs to differ, friend. Now com'mon over here and start gettin' set up. We're jus' bout ready t'start making dinner."

Hater was beginning to wonder if he was in charge of this expedition or not. He did not enjoy feeling like a child on a field trip. But he also did not enjoy the clawing at his stomach as it tried digesting itself.

Mumbling and grumbling to himself, Hater looked around.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" he snapped.

"You're lookin at it." replied Sylvia. Hater glared back, not understanding.

"Pull up a nice spot of ground, Hater! It's more comfortable than it looks." Wander added, patting the ground beside him, as he dug through his hat and came up with a large mixing spoon.

Hater was not about to sit next to that chattering mop. Instead, he sat himself down where he stood, arms crossed so everyone knew he wasn't happy about it. Peepers sat beside his boss, a few feet away, between him and Sylvia.

The overlord watched as the zbornak hefted a large pot of water- which must have somehow come from Wander's hat- over a crackling fire. He continued to watch as carrots were chopped up, and potatoes were peeled. His face contorted into a visage of disgust without him even being aware of it.

Soup. It just had to be soup, didn't it?

Hater continued to watch, as his insides churned. It wasn't the fact that it was soup that bothered him. He had found, over the years, that he had become very texture sensitive. It was one thing to eat cooked carrots or potatoes- not that he tended to do that, living on a primarily junk food diet- but it was another thing having the TASTE of it in a state it wasn't normally. It was like dipping a spoon in bath water that just HAPPENED to have a few chunks of substance in it, and then calling it dinner.

...Actually, when it was worded THAT way, he did have a problem with soup.

"Is there going to be anything ELSE with this?" Hater could see the orange nomad eyeing the bag of marshmallows. The skeleton rolled his eyes. "BESIDES the s'mores, grod!"

"Unless you have something stashed away in that frumpy dress of yours somewhere, then no." Sylvia replied, dumping the vegetables into the now boiling water.

Hater decided right then and there that the zbornak would be the first to fall under the might of his new Morning Star. Or maybe it would cause her more pain to watch her little buddy go first. These thoughts were meant to serve as a morale booster, but somehow only managed to make him tired.

"Not a dress. It's a cloak." he mumbled, his words nearly a pout.

"Don't worry, Hater!" Wander spoke up." It's a lot more fillin' than it looks, promise!"

"Well, it certainly smells good!" said Peepers. Hater cast him a warning glare that seemed to go unnoticed.

"And it's only gonna smell better! Syl, here, just knows her way around her spices."

Sylvia rolled her eyes, but smiled at the compliment all the same.

"Pfft. It's nothing special, but it gets the job done."

"REALLY, now," the watchdog said excitedly, "I'm curious to hear what you use! I don't consider myself MUCH of a chef, but I DO know my way around a stove- if I do say so myse-"

Peepers was cut off by the loud groan from his boss, as he and the others threw a glance at the skeleton. Though still sitting down, Hater used his height to loom over his third in command, as he pointed in a direction away from the fire.

"ENOUGH with the small talk, Peepers! Shouldn't you be unpacking my tent?!"

"Oh, uh, yes. But I just merely thought-"

"NOW, Peepers!"

The eyeball found himself suppressing a sigh, as he got up and fetched the bag behind him. He began grumbling to himself, no doubt saying a few words not meant for polite company, as he went away from the warm fire and started unpacking the supplies.

Hater found himself feeling a little better, having SOME type of control over the unpredictable situation. It did always feel good to yell at the watchdog-almost therapeutic, in fact. The overlord found the smile that had been on his face slipping, as he turned back to find two nomads looking at him. One with a small frown on their furry face, and the other with a glower. Hater glared right back at them.

"WHAT?!"

Wander was the one to speak up for the two of them, the zbornak going back to preparing the -ugh- soup.

"That's no way to treat a friend, Hater. Ya know, you catch more flies with honey than ya do with vinegar."

"I don't WANT flies! What I WANT is for people to stop being stupid and start doing their jobs!"

"Quit your whining and eat, would ya?" Sylvia snapped, shoving a bowl of piping hot soup into Hater's hands. Hater looked down into the bowl with a scowl.

"How is this done already?" he questioned out loud. Hater was no cook, but he knew vegetables took longer to boil than that. Were they trying to poison him with raw food?

Sylvia shrugged, after handing a bowl of it to Wander, and then one to Peepers, who had presumably finished unpacking.

"It's all thanks to a nice little spice I like to call, 'McGuffin'. Really helps speed things along."

Hater had tuned most of that out. He cared nothing about cooking OR spices. After realizing there would be no silverware with this meal, he lifted the bowl to his mouth, and sipped carefully at the piping hot goop. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he'd remembered.

The overlord's eyes shot wide open, as he found himself instinctually spitting out the liquid. NOPE, he had been wrong- it was positively WORSE than he had imagined! The taste itself, wasn't AWFUL- in fact he might even begrudgingly admit it wasn't even bad. HOWEVER, his brain cried out in horror as it screamed at him that it wasn't RIGHT. Those flavors were NOT supposed to be anything BUT a solid. Too thick to be a drink, too thin to be a meal- it was an ABOMINATION to the senses!

It was then that the skeleton opened his eyes and realized just WHERE he had spat out the soup. Hater felt his phantom blood run cold, as he looked across and saw a now drenched zbornak-her pink comb flopped in front of her face. She slowly swiped it back, and that was when the overlord saw the look of Zoncronian Hell in her eyes.

"Is there a PROBLEM, Hater?" Sylvia asked through clenched teeth, practically shaking from anger. "Do you not LIKE it?"

Her words just DARED him to say anything against it.

"Noit'sfine." Hater mumbled quickly, averting his eyes away from the angry zbornak and down into the bowl in his hands. He stayed that way, unmoving, until he couldn't feel her glare burning into him anymore.

He considered just dumping the soup into a bush and being done with it, but his stomach wasn't going to allow him to skip another meal. So he suffered through it, each slurp he took worse than the last. It was a struggle to keep it down at all, but he managed.

One more day and this would all be over, he kept telling himself. One more day.

* * *

Hater stood impatiently in front of his still rolled up tent laying on the ground.

"Peepers?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Didn't I tell you to set up my tent?"

"Uh, no sir. Technically you told me to unpack your tent, not actually set it-" a glare and a growl from his boss changed his tune. "I'll get right on it, right now!"

The overlord snatched the poles from his third in command with a huff.

"NEVER MIND! I'll do it myself." he shouted.

He then went to work messing with the tent, while mumbling to himself about worthless commanders and something about soup. It was then Hater remembered something important that he had overlooked in this development…

He had no idea how to set up a tent.

Well...THIS was certainly going to be a problem. The skeleton was not for sleeping anywhere but a nice, warm-definitely not the cold hard ground- bed. Or living outside his ship or a stolen palace. So, in all honesty...he hadn't the slightest idea where to begin. Unfortunately, he was ALSO past the point he could ask- NO, DEMAND!- Peepers to do it; his pride did not allow his enemies or his officer to see weakness. So it was with a sigh, and a puff of his chest, that he set about trying to figure it out.

"Trying" most certainly being the key word.

"What IS half this stuff," the overlord found himself mumbling, as he looked through what looked like to be poles, the tent….and some random piece of plastic. "Nevermind, the...plastic thing must be junk. So none of that-OH!"

It was then Hater finally saw the flaps where the poles must go through. He smirked smugly to himself. SEE, he didn't need Peepers AFTER all.

Soon he had the poles in place, and he glared down at his tent for still not looking like a tent. In fact, if anything, it looked more like a giant kite.

"Er, Sir, you can't just stick the poles through like that and expect it to stand up on its own. See, you have to take the ends, and stick the pins into the bottom like so, and then bend-"

"I KNOW THAT, PEEPERS!" Hater shouted into his face, the sheer volume of his shouting nearly knocking the commander over.

Of course he knew that! It was easy, just... do exactly what Peepers just told him to do. See? He didn't need help at all, he had this in the bag.

He stood proudly, triumphantly, in front of his successfully erected tent that looked like a tent and not at all like a kite. The skeleton turned around to face the others, as he began to gloat

"Ah-HA! I did it! I TOTALLY did it!"

"Uh, sir?"

"And see, YOU didn't think I could do it, did you? BUT I DID! The great and almighty Lord Hater does NOT let stupid tents make HIM a fool!"

"But, sir-!"

"UGH! WHAT, Peepers- CAN'T YOU SEE I'M GLOATING?!"

Before the watchdog could reply, he was interrupted once more by a scoff from the zbornak. Hater found himself glaring in her direction as she began to taunt him.

"Yo, 'tent master', I think you're losing something."

Sylvia smugly pointed in the direction where the skeletal overlord had just spent all that time setting up. Hater followed the gesture, until he noticed something starting to fly off into the distance. Huh, you know, that kind of looks like…

"GAH! MY TENT!"

Hater chased after it for a few yards, Peepers at his heels, while Sylvia barked laughter into the darkening sky. Wander merely watched, a look of mild concern on his face.

The chase was quickly given up, both too tired from the day's events to run any more.

"Aw, don't worry, Hater... we can go get it once it lands!" Wander called to him.

As if the universe took those words as a challenge, just as the flying tent- which, Hater realized with sour amusement, was starting to look like a kite again- cleared the next hill, a large tiger leapt up from the trees, shredding it to pieces, before a flock of shadowy birds carried away the shreds of fabric, presumably for nesting material, but more likely just to make Hater's life even more miserable.

The skeleton felt his jaw literally hit the floor in shock- Peeper's quickly picking it up and handing it to him. Hater growled as he snatched it from his hands, before reattaching it to the rest of his face. Great...Just GREAT. What was he supposed to do NOW?

As if on cue, Hater let out a startled cry as the fuzzy nomad suddenly popped up in his face.

"Aww, it's alright, Hater. The night's too pretty t'be locked up in a stinky ol' tent ANY way! 'Sides, on the bright side.." The skeleton found his vision impaired as Wander shoved something in front of his face. "You still got your sleepin' bag! Com'mon over, there's a niiiice spot right next t'me n' Syl."

The overlord snatched - what he now realized was meant to be his cover for the night- from the annoying mop of orange fur, as he began stomping off to the place the farthest from the already laying down zbornak. There was NO way he was going to sleep anywhere NEAR those two. ESPECIALLY not after the day HE just had with them!

Wander, however, took no offense to this as he whispered to the watchdog still next to him.

"He's jus' shy, is all."

Peepers merely rolled his eye.

* * *

It had been some time since the fire had been put out, and the others had gone to bed. Hater could hear the sounds of breathing all around him, as well as strange noises coming from the woods. Some sounded like the calls of some sort of bird, and others sounded...not so innocent. There was even a moment the bulky overlord had flinched, fearing he heard a bear not too far from him...before he realized it was the sound of his third in command snoring.

UGH.

However, that wasn't the only thing bothering him. Something felt...wrong. He tried to convince himself it was just because he was aching, sleeping in an unfamiliar place while surrounded by people-the most he was used to was the presence of his lovable abomination in his bed. And yet...That wasn't it. He...okay, he knew it was silly, but Hater SWORE it felt like he was being watched. Like there were a million eyes on him, taking in his every movement. It made him uncomfortable. No, it made him AFRAID. He, the lord of terror and destruction...was frightened by something he couldn't see. Something that was probably all in his head.

Hater found himself flinching again when he heard a sudden whisper from behind him.

"Pssst….Hater. Are you awake?"

His face contorted into a scowl, though it went unseen, as he had made a point of facing away from the others. The fear he'd felt seconds before warmed into mild anger.

"No."

A short pause.

"Huh. That's strange; sure sounds like you're awake."

"Shut up and just go to sleep!" Hater hissed. Wander sounded closer than he should have, and Hater did not have the courage this night to look back to see if the unsettling little monster had moved closer to him in lieu of his original spot on top of Sylvia.

"You know…" Wander began in a quiet whisper, far too close and far too warm sounding for a guy that was sleeping with- NEXT! Sleeping NEXT- to his enemy. "This sure has been an amazing day."

The overlord scoffed, as he rolled over to glare at the nomad- not at all surprised to see him next to him.

"We walked all day, I almost threw up, my tent was mauled by terrible creatures, AND I was PUSHED into a pit of baskilli. ENLIGHTEN me on how this was 'an amazing day'!"

Though a whisper, all of the skeleton's temper ran true as any yelling would have. He expected Wander to flinch away, like he had earlier in the day, he even expected him to agree and apologize for all the trouble he had put him through- not that he would ever accept it!

However, he did not expect a small smile as the very few lights from the stars twinkled in his eyes.

"It was amazin' 'cause we got t'spend it with you, Hater."

The skeletal overlord was silent, as he felt his face begin to grow warm. UGH, he WOULD say something sappy like that. Stupid hippie. Hater rolled and faced away from Wander with a grunt, no longer in the mood to see anymore of the nomad.

"Whatever." He said at last. "Still say it was a crappy day."

"Aww, don't be like that. Camping an' hikin' with buddies is the best way t'spend your time."

It took a lot of control for Hater to suppress his need to remind the pest that they were NOT friends.

Wander continued.

"Why, it feels like it's been forever since Sylvia and me had anybody else with us. I am rightly sorry that it hasn't be a completely pleasant day for you, though! But! I promise, it's somethin' that gets better the more you try it. I'm sure you know this from all the times your folks took ya on outings as a lil' tyke, yourself."

Flashbacks from his childhood were the last thing he needed on top of everything else that night. A childhood where an "outing" consisted of target practise and his father screaming at him that he'd never be feared and respected with aim like that.

But he supposed he had come to enjoy target practise... and the delightful cries he was awarded with every time he hit his mark.

Still. Target practise wasn't camping. Camping and hiking still sucked. He kept this to himself, though, and offered only a noncommittal grunt. He wasn't exactly in a sharing mood, least of all with his most despised enemy.

Wander seemed to pick up on his inner monologue, as he 'tsked' to himself.

"Well, no mind that then. We can just make up for it!"

No, no they could most certainly not.

"We'll see everything together- make it a habit to go a-visitin' other planets and meet new people. That is, when you aren't busy, o'course."

NO.

"And we can find stuff you DO like to do! An' we'll find nice food for you t'try, so you don't get a tummy ache next time- I'm sure Syl won't mind. Oh, Hater, you're gonna LIKE it! I promise, you'll see!"

Hater was at his limits, as he clenched his jaw tightly to suppress the screams of anger he wanted to unleash. Still turned away from his enemy, he hissed through his teeth.

"Good NIGHT, Wander!"

"Oh, right, yeah….You're probably plenty tired. I'll let you get some rest, buddy. Nighty night, Hater!"

Silence fell over the campsite once more, as the overlord sighed to himself. Seconds passed, and soon became minutes...as, yet again, the feeling of being watched crept up upon him. Though, this time he wondered if it truly was a million pairs of eyes like he previously thought...or just one.

Hater almost preferred Wander's jabbering over this feeling of being watched. Being angry was always easier than being afraid. Being annoyed was easier to deal with than not knowing.

As if on cue, Hater's silence was interrupted once more.

"Pssst. Hater...you still awake?"

The skeleton did everything in his power to remain still- stillness was a way to fake sleeping, right? Oh grod, please let him buy the act!

Wander sighed softly to himself, and Hater could hear the distinct sound of rustling- the nomad most likely sitting up in his hat. Still, the overlord remained motionless as the pest began talking again.

"Okay then, guess you're asleep now. But, just in case, wanted to let you know I'm gonna play a lil' tune- can't seem t'get myself to sleep yet."

UGH. Great. Wonderful. Just what he needed- another annoying song. Honestly, he didn't get how all his racket hadn't woken up his zbornak friend already. Hater wished it would, so maybe SHE could force him to shut up and go to bed already!

The skeleton listened to the sounds of Wander tuning his banjo, before he played a few strings. The melody was all over the place, the nomad picking one beat before changing it up to another. It was almost as if he couldn't make up his mind just what he wanted to play. It was then with a soft 'a-ha' that a slow tune came forth from his banjo, as Hater could practically just imagine him lightly caressing the strings.

Next followed Wander's voice as he made sounds, rather than words.

_"Da de da dum-ba_

_Da de ba da dum_

_Hi-ee la da dum-ba_

_Dey de di diddle di dey"_

Hater did not recognize the tune at all, but it sounded old. The skeleton pondered to himself whether or not it was an old folk song the nomad heard in his travels. He didn't get a chance to question anything else, as he continued to listen to the song.

_"Down in the valley I traveled_

_The valley I roamed_

_From Norax to Lena_

_So far from home_

_I searched and I wandered_

_And wonder I did_

_If my baby would love me_

_Or keep their lovin' tight under lid"_

The overlord suppressed a groan. Of COURSE the sappy hippie would choose a love song. Still, it didn't sound COMPLETELY awful. In fact, for the first time all day...he was beginning to relax.

_"But I wasn't bothered_

_Not bothered was I_

_I didn't ask questions_

_No need to ask 'why'_

_If baby did love me_

_It would come an' it would pass_

_Kisses a-plenty_

_From that beautiful lass_

_"Da de da dum-ba_

_Da de ba da dum_

_Hi-ee la da dum-ba_

_Dey de di diddle di dey_

_Yes my baby will love me_

_One of these days"_

Hater felt his eyes beginning to shut, his eyelids growing far too heavy, as his mind drifted to sleep. Consciousness slipped from him as Wander repeated the final verse.

_"Yes my baby will love me_

_One of these days"_


	5. The Trees

** **

* * *

_Lord Hater wasn't much of a dreamer. That wasn't to say he never dreamt of things- it simply meant it was not common enough of a phenomenon for him to note it. And most things tended to leave faint feelings that didn't have much thought or distinction to them, and were usually quickly swept away once the brain fully woke up- never to be thought of again._

_That night, however, was different._

_The world began in black, as Hater lost himself to the subconscious realm. It was a void of nothingness, just a vague sense of being. Of knowing one merely existed. The skeleton could have been trapped in the limbo for mere minutes...or even hours, it felt like neither while simultaneously feeling like both. He didn't get to dwell on this for long, however, as Hater soon felt himself engulfed by fear- gravity suddenly leaving him as he fell into the void. The darkness ate at him, surrounding him like a thick blanket as it thrusted the skeleton deeper into the abyss._

_Next came the cracking of bones, as Hater smacked into what felt like solid ground. He felt a dull ache throughout him, as a part of his brain wondered if he fractured anything-a legitimate worry for a being made entirely of bones. The skeleton groaned, as he tried sitting up...He must have hit harder than he thought, because Hater felt the world shift and tumble around in a dizzy spell._

_It took a moment before he realized the surface underneath him was actually moving, and it wasn't all in his head._

_Hater let out a cry as he fell again, this time the fall much shorter. He jolted up to his feet, as he threw his neck upwards to take in where he had just landed. What he met, however, were two glowing yellow eyes that were taking in his every movement. The eyes found themselves attached to a the body of a snake, as the creature towered and loomed threateningly overhead…Just waiting for the overlord to make his first move, and strike._

_Instincts have no place in dreams, and his subconscious was telling him his powers were of no use against this beast. Fleeing seemed to be his only option. He was unaware he was backing up until he felt his back pressed up against something warm. He tried to jump away, tried to scream, but the warmth surrounded him now, and he was paralyzed, the demon snake's coiled wrapped tightly around his whole body. Hater tried to shut his eyes against the inevitable, but suddenly his eyelids seemed transparent, and he was forced to stare down the snake's gaping maw._

_The inky black pit of teeth neared closer and closer, he swore he could smell the thing's breath; an overpowering sweet scent wafted up from its gut. Suddenly, a warm, wet, forked tongue flicked out and dragged up the side of his face._

_It was worse than he could have imagined. Hater felt himself flinching away with every flick of the tongue, the creature leaving a trail of gooey saliva along his cheek and lips. It was disgusting...But, more so, his mind was waiting for the monster to cease toying with him and devour him whole. Dread ate away at the pit of his stomach, as his every nerve tingled from anticipation of what was to come. What did the snake WANT from him?_

_Finally, when the giant snake had its fill, it fully wrapped its long tongue around him. The snake threw Hater into the air, as the skeleton let out another scream of terror. He closed his eyes as he saw the mouth coming closer and closer-_

_Before being engulfed by a sea of red._

_It was at this point the skeleton lost his body- nothing else existing outside the scarlet hues. Hater felt many things in this liquid consciousness, though it was hard to keep up with the intensity and the shifting emotions. It was a burning fire of passion, boiling him in a heat he only had reserved for a certain few. Anger, frustration, the overwhelming desire to destroy and dominate into submission...and then as Hater was beginning to be pulled towards another emotion, one he didn't quite understand, the world shifted again._

_Two shades of green danced within each other, a neon lime pulsating at the center as a warm earthy green swirled lightly around it. The lime would begin to go crazy and jump around every time the other shade got too close, and even sometimes following after it. But still the swirling color of happy energy floated on, keeping the same rhythm-never changing._

_For reasons beyond Hater's understanding, this frustrated him even more so._

_The greens didn't stay for too long, however, as another color peaked from the subconscious corners of his mind. It started as little splotches, coming and going as if to say 'hi' before disappearing once more. It almost felt natural to the overlord, so much so that it took him some time before he even realized that the greens had been completely overpowered by the glow of orange._

_Orange confused him the most. Its flamboyantness aggravated him- it was far too demanding, wanting him to focus on it and nothing else. And, worse still, was the fact Hater COULDN'T look away. No matter where his bodiless being tried to go, the hue followed. It was too warm, too energetic._

_Oh grop, he could feel the orange- that warm glow like the rays of sunbeams- caressing and touching whatever passed as his new existence. Hater felt his phantom breath hitch, as the color wormed itself inside of him. It was too strong, it was too much, it was-_

* * *

Hater's eyes shot up, as he woke up with a jolt. He gave out a startled cry as the orange had followed him into the waking world.

Two wide eyes stared back at him, merely an inch from his face. He tried recoiling from the personal bubble intruder, and realized with sudden terror that he was still caught in the clutches of the slithering beast.

Or maybe it was just his sleeping bag.

"Mornin', Hater! I was wonderin' when you'd wake up!"

No time to unzip the sleeping bag, of course, a hasty retreat was required, and besides; tearing out of it with an angry grunt was much more dramatic and satisfying. He struggled to his feet, ripping off and discarding the torn remains of the offending sleeping bag, and dropping them onto the ground. He turned and spotted Peepers and Sylvia, who were awake, as well. Sylvia sipped on a mug of what Hater assumed to be coffee, with Peepers sitting close by. The commander waved to his boss when he noted he was awake and moving. Hater didn't return the gesture.

Wander, however, was busy humming a happy tune to himself as he flipped a pancake into the air, catching it as it fell back into the frying pan, and- wait what? But wasn't he just? Hater glanced behind him, where his shredded sleeping apparel still lay, but no Wander. Had that been a dream, too? Or was he just really that sneaky? The thought gave Hater a chill.

The overlord plopped down stiffly next to Peepers, who smiled up at him, then leaned in to whisper, "I'm really glad you're awake, sir; that little weirdo was laying there waiting for you to wake up all morning." the little watchdog visibly shuddered. "That guy seriously gives me the creeps."

This Hater couldn't blame him for feeling. Heck, though he- himself- would never admit it to anyone...Wander disturbed him as well.

"Whatever," the overlord mumbled, trying to forget his own unease, "when's the food going to be ready?"

Hater threw a glance towards the little chef-who even dressed to fit the part, wearing a white apron with matching hat- as he watched the nomad put another pancake onto the growing stack. Part of him wanted to scold him-like why the heck would they even NEED that many?! But, as his stomach betrayed him once more with a growl- causing Wander to smile at him- the skeleton glared as he looked away.

"Aww, don't worry Hater," Wander chirped happily, as he put the frying pan down and flipped his toque inside out- revealing to be his usual green hat all along. "Breakfast is almost ready. Jus' gotta spruce 'em up, if ya know what I mean."

The nomad winked, adding the ever annoying sound effects with it, before he dug inside his hat. The fuzzball pulled out item after item: chocolate syrup, whipped cream, sprinkles, and some other miscellaneous candy treats. Hater seriously hoped he wasn't actually going to put ALL that stuff onto the pancakes.

His fears were a reality, as the overlord watched in disgust as Wander piled junk onto the once edible breakfast. The nomad hummed to himself, as he squirted out chocolate syrup and whipped cream in a flourish, before dashing it with sprinkles and gummy worms. Pulling a fork out of his hat, Wander then handed the plate to the still startled skeleton.

"And heeere ya go, Hater! Eat up, there's plenty more where THAT came from!"

Before Hater could say anything, he was interrupted by his second in command.

"OH, er, looks great. REALLY. But, none of that for me, thank you. Not much of a sweet tooth."

"Okey dokey, Mister Peepers. You n' Syl can just have the homestyle special!"

Peepers grinned at the plate he was handed, perfectly fluffy pancakes topped with a light drizzle of maple syrup and nothing more. Hater eyed the treat in envy, then glanced back at the coma-inducing amounts of sugar on his own plate. A split second decision was all it took to lower his plate next to Peepers', and scrape the offending confections off of his own cakes and onto Peepers'.

His third in command looked horrified and heartbroken, and that somehow not only made Hater feel better, but made his own breakfast taste better.

Breakfast couldn't end quick enough for Hater, but it did end, and soon they were packed up and back to walking. Making progress on his goal put the skeleton in a lighter mood; the gnawing suspicion they were being watched keeping him neutral.

Not to mention, the feeling of going nowhere, of walking in circles, hung heavy in the air, their surroundings always looking the same no matter how far they walked. The possibility of this all being one big, never ending nightmare occurred to him again.

The spell was broken and Hater's unease lifted as the rows of trees finally ended in a clearing. Hater didn't even care it was a field of flowers; it was something different and that was all that mattered.

Wander seemed just as excited, though notably for different reasons.

"Look at that," the nomad gasped, as he hopped off his zbornak's saddle and began to run towards the field. "Aren't those just some BEAUTIFUL flowers!"

Sylvia quickly stretched out her hand to grab onto her friend, before he ran off without them.

"Woah, slow down there buddy. They might be pretty looking, I guess, but something isn't sitting right with me."

Hater passed another glance at the field, before he scoffed. While the overlord knew not to judge by appearances- having once hired a dangerous perennial bounty hunter to capture Wander and Sylvia for him- the little yellow flowers looked perfectly harmless. The greyish green leaves seemed to make the yellow of the petals seem more vibrant in color. If anything, they looked like little suns.

Hater glared again as he suddenly remembered just how much he hated suns.

"UGH! This is so stupid! Let's just GO already."

Wander didn't need to be commanded twice, as he found himself worming out of the bigger nomad's grasp and running right into the field.

Hater glared at the little orange nomad skipping happily and whistling to himself in front of him, while he trudged along behind, fists clenched at his sides, jaw set in an unhappy scowl. Sylvia was close by her pal, not skipping but smiling contentedly all the same. He was vaguely aware of Peepers muttering something as he struggled to keep up beside him.

All the skeletal overlord wanted to do was get through this hippie dreamscape of doom and be done with it, so when Wander and Sylvia both stopped to sniff the flowers, his phantom blood began to boil again.

"NOW why are we stopping? We're NEVER going to get there if you! KEEP! STOPPING!"

Sylvia passed him a mild look, still nose deep in a patch of perennials, as she gave another sniff. Wander, meanwhile, plucked a bouquet as he held the yellow flowers out towards the more aggressive members of the party.

"Now Hater, no need t'worry and be a grumpy gus. Here, have a whiff and feel all your troubles melt away~."

The orange nomad broke the bouquet into two, putting some into both of their hands. Hater instantly smacked them away, crushing them under his sneakers.

"NO. I am up to HERE with this namby pamby 'just stop and smell the roses' nonsense! I WANT to get to the pyramid. I WANT my Morning Star! I WANT-"

"Huh, you know...these don't smell half bad."

Hater found himself whipping to the side, as he glared down at his officer.

"PEEPERS, don't you DARE even START!"

"But sir, it really is amazing. You need to smell these flowers!"

Said flowers were quickly smacked out of the watchdog's hands, but it took a moment before Peepers noticed them gone. As soon as he did, his eye shot open in an almost panic. "No!" he yelped, and dove into the sea of yellow to sniff some more.

Hater's initial reaction to yell at Peepers' insubordination was interrupted, as he noted Wander and Sylvia were also acting strangely. The zbornak was rolling around in a patch of them like a sick space cow, while her travelling partner lay on his back not far away, holding a bunch of them to his face and giggling.

Hater snapped his gaping maw shut, before grinding his teeth in annoyance.

"What is WRONG with you people?! Stop….STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" He pointed a threatening finger back at his third in command, as he sparked in warning. "PEEPERS, I COMMAND you cease this...WHATEVER you are doing!"

The watchdog looked visibly torn, his need to follow orders-and not get hurt- conflicting with his even stronger need to continue his strange newfound obsession with flora.

"I...I CAN'T, sir!" He cried out in pain, his eyes watering. "TRUST me, I would GLADLY stop it if I could! Oh, SERIOUSLY MESSING WITH MY ALLERGIES!"

Hater was about to question this-or better yet, demand an explanation- when Sylvia gasped as she realized what was going on.

"Snark handling wimpwongs- THESE ARE EVERLASTINGS!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Hater screamed. Honestly, he couldn't care less what kind of flowers these were.

"Well you should!" snapped Sylvia through a face full of flowers. "These things are deadly! One sniff of their irresistible pollen makes your brain all loopy!"

Peepers' eye was running badly now, and bloodshot. " Yeah, that's right, I've read about these things! Its victims keep on sniffing them until... well..." he was cut off by a sneeze, but Hater got the idea, nevertheless.

Now a grin formed on the skeleton's face. An excuse to destroy the hippie dreamscape of doom without anyone complaining about it had plopped itself right into his lap. He lifted both hands, which sparked to life with licks of green electricity.

Peepers screamed as blinding light surrounded him, and when it was gone, he found himself in the middle of a scorched patch of ground, fried flowers littered the immediate area.

And Peepers was one hundred percent unscathed. He was both relieved from this, as well as suddenly having the pollen fog clear his mind.

"SIR," he latched onto his boss happily, " thankyouthankyouthankyo-"

"...Are you TOUCHING me, Peepers?"

The officer jumped away, once more timid as he realized what he had just done.

"...No?"

"Good, keep it that way."

The skeletal overlord stomped closer to where his enemies continued to roll around the flowers like intoxicated idiots. Hater lifted his mighty fists above his head, as he began to zap the horrid plants. That was when everything he had been feeling over the past day exploded from him. The frustration of his personal space being invaded, the way the two nomads took over his escapade as if it was some simple field trip, the stupid way Wander smiled and treated him like his best friend in the whole wide galaxy, the awkward way he made him feel, that stupid color-filled dream-

Hater growled as he began to throw his bolts all around him, no longer controlling where he aimed. Passion took over as he zapped anything that closely resembled the Everlasting sun flower. He went on like this, until everything was blackened and crisp.

And even then the skeleton didn't stop, as he began to stomp onto the dead remains.

"Uh, Lord Hater," He finally heard, as he huffed and puffed-his anger finally beginning to drain with the loss of his energy. The skeleton threw a look over his shoulder, as he realized his commander had been talking to him. "Sir...you okay? Feeling any better?"

Hater glared as he looked away.

"...Shuddup, Peepers."

Meanwhile, Wander and Sylvia got to their feet, shaking off the last of their pollen high. They stood looking around at the ruined landscape. Sylvia noted the pained expression on her little buddy's face, and placed a comforting hand on his back.

"Those poor flowers... it's such a shame we had to destroy 'em all."

"There, there, pal. They're in a better place now. Besides, it wasn't 'we', it was 'him'. We are totally innocent here."

At that moment, Hater spun around to face the other three, a triumphant expression on his face.

"Hey, good goin', Tough Guy! You completely wiped out a whole field of flowers. Impressive." Sylvia called to him, sarcastically. Hater's smile instantly fell, and his hands began to spark again. Sylvia flinched and held up her hands.

"And, uh, you know, thanks for savin' our butts, and everything. Good going, and I mean that this time."

'Save'. Ugh, how the overlord was REALLY beginning to hate that word.

"Whatever, " he said, as he began to stomp off through the flower corpses, leaving them behind. He got a few feet before he turned around and glared at the others that were STILL standing still. "WELL, are you COMING or not? I do NOT want this to be another all day thing!"

Sylvia and Peepers rolled their eyes, before following the grumpy bag of bones. Wander, however, happily chased after the skeleton. When he finally reached him, the orange nomad grabbed his hand as he began to bounce along beside him.

Hater found himself far too worn out and tired to even care enough to push him away.

* * *

" And so I said to the guy 'Well, I never played a jar of mayonnaise, myself, but if you think it'll help yer lil' band...sure I'll help!'"

Wander had been rambling nonstop for the longest time, retelling one of his many adventures he and his zbornak friend had together. The Cantunians, he had said, were nice enough people...though, even a little weird by his standards.

Not that he judged any.

"So, ya see, that's where Syl n' me came in. Here these lil' fellas had a big enough band, with all sort of odds and ends as instruments. So it was OUR job to teach 'em how to make somethin' that sounded remotely like a tune, before a big ol' Giant Crab woke up from it's million year nap t'eat them for a snack. Everythin' worked out fine in the end, and now...well, not to BRAG, but I can play quite the lil' diddy with some mayo."

Wander paused, before leaning towards Hater to whisper to him.

"Though, Sylvia doesn't seem t'like it so much. Maybe she'd prefer I learn to mustard instead."

Hater wasn't even angry anymore. The buzzing mosquito was back, except now he found himself listening to the stories, instead of tuning them out. Not that he'd wanted to. It just happened to be mildly more comforting than the dead silence of the forest they were currently walking through. That didn't mean he was going to reply to anything the chattering mop said, though. It was pointless to make small talk with a pest that was so close to being eradicated, anyway.

He was too tired to be angry. He'd never had to work this hard for his goals before. He had people for that. And worst of all, he was still so certain they weren't actually going ANYwhere. He glared up at the shadowed trees, which seemed to sneer at him. Every one of them looked the same, and he was sure they'd passed that same rock at least six times now.

Ah, there it was. His anger began to peek through again, bubbling just under the surface of annoyed indifference he'd wrapped himself in.

"All of these trees." he began, softly and calmly. "Every ONE of them." he was getting louder now, his fists balled. "LOOK! THE! SAME!" he roared, bringing his foot back, and kicking the nearest one as hard as he could, powered by his returned temper. Hater cried out in pain as he hurt himself.

What he didn't expect, however, was for the tree to do the same.

The skeletal overlord found himself fumbling backwards, falling into Sylvia who merely pushed him back onto his feet again.

"W-what was THAT, " Peepers shouted in alarm, "trees don't DO that!"

The commander's question was answered, as the very tree Hater had kicked began to move. First its arms, before it bent down to rip its roots from the ground. The tree shook- some of its green leaves falling to the yellow ground- as it spun around...only for the tree to glare at them with piercing glowing green eyes.

The group found themselves consumed by fear, as they realized the other trees were beginning to do the same.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" Hater yelled as the four instinctively huddled together, their backs facing inward. "I told you guys we were being watched!" he hissed angrily.

"When did you say THAT!" Sylvia retorted.

Hater stopped to think about it for a moment.

"I, well... uh... I was thinking it, okay!"

As far as the zbornak was concerned, this conversation was over; it was time to fight. She cracked her knuckles and smirked at the surrounding trees.

"Nothing left to do now but kick some sentient tree butt." Sylvia charged at one of the trees, ready to do just that.

One swing of a giant branch sent her flying back with an "OOF". The others watched as she picked herself back up off the ground, and stomped back toward the same tree.

"I got this." she mumbled as she passed them.

Hater and Peepers, however, didn't feel comfortable leaving their lives in the enemy's hands-even if said hands were already starting to pound the tree nearest to her. The skeletal overlord charged up his fists, as he began shooting at another timber.

While Hater wrestled with a branch, the watchdog frantically searched through his pack to find his standard issue blaster.

"Oh, I know I have it in here SOMEwhere!" Peepers threw items out, not caring where they landed and he dug deeper into the bag. "Canteen, first, second, and third standard issue communicators, shark repellent, another helmet, flower pruners-GEE, THIS would have came in handy EARLIER!- spare underwear-"

"OH FOR GLORN'S SAKE! PEEPERS!"

"Now now, don't RUSH me! I'm LOOKING!" The commander could hear the sounds of battle going on around him, as he continued to look. "Huh, the apple pie recipe? Seriously, what was I THINKING when I packed for this trip?!"

"PEEPERS!"

The third in command shouted triumphantly as he stretched his arm into the air, his weapon firmly in his grasp.

"Ah-HA! FOUND it! Oh, I am so ready for thi-" Peepers didn't get to finish his sentence as he was suddenly grabbed by a branch, causing him to drop his blaster. "OH COME ON!"

The fight, if it could ever have been called that to begin with, was over, Peepers noted, as he wasn't the only one struggling in vain to free himself from the tree's firm grip.

In fact, the only one still on the ground was Wander, who just looked up at them. Peepers knew that guy was trouble; he wasn't even making an effort to help them.

"Hey guys..." Wander called up to them.

"WHAT?!" Hater and Sylvia snapped in unison, as they continued to fight against the branches.

"I know fightin' is sorta your thing...but have you tried TALKING to them?"

Talking? The little furball of a whelp wanted to TALK to them? Oh, that just made the skeleton even ANGRIER. Did it LOOK like the sad excuses for firewood were in the MOOD for talking? If anything, they were in the mood to DESTROY them!

That wasn't even MENTIONING the fact trees didn't talk!

Hater, however, didn't get a chance to say any of this as Wander went up to the nearest tree-the one that had been busy holding the overlord in its branches- as he gently poked him. The timber turned, glaring, as Wander politely took off his hat in greeting.

"Hello there, friend, excuse me fer interuptin'...But I see there must have been some kinda misunderstandin'." The nomad grabbed onto one of the lower branches closer to his height, as he began to shake it like he would a hand. "Name's Wander, and you are?"

"THIS IS SO STUPID!" Hater yelled, as he glared down at the annoyance. "Trees don't talk! Say it with me, you sniveling little twerp, TREES. DON'T. TA-"

Hater was cut off as he felt the tree shake, as a deep voice erupted from the trunk.

"Uh...My name's Douglas."

Oh, for glorn's sake!

Wander smiled brightly at this, as he continued with his cheery conversation- as if his companions were not actually in perile.

"Douglas? Now THAT'S certainly a mighty fine name!" The fur covered nomad plopped his hat back onto his head, as his smile slipped some. "That said, what seems t'be the problem here?"

Again, the tree shook as he began to speak, this time the other trees stopping what they were doing as they surrounded the little guy.

"I am Douglas, King of the Auronian Tree-Misers, and I speak for the trees! Not only have you strange travelers come into our home-most likely in search for the Great Pyramid of the ever coveted Morning Star my people have been bred to protect and guard- but then you have also dared to attack us! And here you ask what the problem is?"

Wander looked apologetically at the king.

"Gee, your highness, there is no cause for alarm. I promise my buddies and I meant you no harm. Lord Hater, the fine fella ya got there in your branches, was jus' a lil' frustrated is all. I'm sure if he knew you were a person, he wouldn't have been so rude and kicked ya like that."

The nomad smiled up at the skeleton, encouragingly.

"Isn't that right, Hater?"

Hater opened his mouth to reply, when a thick zbornak tail wrapped itself around his face, muffling his words, and then his angry cries of protest.

"He said yeah, you bet, and that he's sorry." Sylvia answered for him.

"See!" Wander looked back up at the tree with a friendly smile.

The air was filled with soft chatter, barely audible. It sounded more like wind blowing through branches, the trees were conversing with one another. After a while, they seemed to come to a conclusion, and the tree captives were lowered to the ground and released.

"Alright, we believe you." King Douglas nodded assuredly, his glare softening into his own apologetic expression. "And I guess we're sorry too. We're just not used to people coming around, you know? We try to keep people not all that pure of heart out, because they can cause some real trouble with the relic, ya know? But you guys seem alright."

"Why thank you, " Wander replied enthusiastically, "Same to you folk. That said, you wouldn't know a shortcut to the pyramid, would ya? We've been walking around since yesterday, and I think my pals are starting to get a lil' tired. Not much for campin', i'm afraid."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Actually, you're already here. All right, men, step aside!"

Before any of the others could question what the royal fir was referring to, the group looked in awe as the trees cleared a path...leading straight to the entrance of a large step-covered structure. It didn't take much to realize it was the Great Pyramid of the Morning Star that they had been searching for.

Hater threw his arms up in frustration.

"Are you SERIOUS?! We were THERE all ALONG?!"

Douglas rubbed the back of his trunk, looking a little sheepish as he explained.

"Yeeeah, sorry about that. Again. We kind of had to lead you guys around in circles...and into traps. Totally our bad, by the way- the boulder baskilli can be pretty aggressive."

There was a low, growling sound, and it took them a moment to realize it was Hater. His hands raised half way up, sparking, his face contorted into an expression of barely contained anger. He was making a strangled gurgling sound. It was obvious this volcano of rage was about to blow.

Wander, Sylvia, and Peepers quickly gathered up their volatile villain, Wander grabbing his hand and pulling him along, while Sylvia and Peepers pushed him along from behind.

"Thank you, friends! We'll be on our way, now! See ya!" Wander called out as they made their way, at last, to their intended destination.

Little did they know, as they walked further and further away from the waving tree-misers, that there were still more obstacles to come.


	6. The Arrival

****

* * *

It was only a few hundreds steps until the gang made their way to the entrance of the pyramid.

It had taken some effort on Hater's part-his body already weary from the long two days of strenuous activity. He wheezed as he finally made it to the top, his legs long giving out as the skeleton had crawled the remaining way.

"Peepers…when I rule the universe...NO. MORE. STAIRS!"

"Fully noted, sir."

"Or walking! That is also out of the picture in a pro-Lord Hater society!"

Wander merely smiled, as he bent down to the overlord's level.

"Aw, it's okay Hater. If it makes you feel better...I think we're here!"

The skeleton tilted his face up to give Wander the stink-eye.

"Does 'here' mean more walking?"

"Well, we ain't carrying you!" Sylvia shot from behind them. The zbornak passed the overlord laying on the ground, and stopped to stand by the fuzzier nomad. Wander looked up at her and smiled, seeming to ask a question only she understood. Her expression went to shocked, to angry, straight to unimpressed.

"Ohhhh ho no no no. There is nothing in any solar system in any galaxy that would convince me to do that."

Wander looked up with those big, pleading eyes. Oh how she hated that. She looked away, and crossed her arms.

"No! There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that you can say or do that would make me carry that creep! He's just being a baby, he can walk in like the rest of us!"

Five minutes later, there was a thundering rumble, as the enormous stone door to the temple slid open. The four travellers peered into the gaping black abyss and it peered back at them. Probably, it was hard to tell because it was just so dark.

"I feel stupid." Hater mumbled, hunched up on the back of Sylvia. The saddle was far too small for him, as was the zbornak herself.

"It ain't just a feeling, bucko." she mumbled, grunting under his weight as she shuffled through the doorway.

"Oh shut up! Can't you go any faster!"

"...That's it. Ride's over."

Hater was practically thrown to the temple floor.

The skeleton growled, already sparking, when he was interrupted by Peepers walking into him. Hater turned his focus from the zbornak to the watchdog, as his glowing green eyes glared at him.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TOUCHING, PEEPERS?"

"Oh! Sorry, sir! I'm just having trouble seeing, is all." The officer chuckled nervously, feeling anxious about his impaired sight. "Could use a little more light."

"How 'bout asking this guy?" Wander asked, pointing to the skeleton next to him- one that had obviously been around for a while. "Looks a lil' like you, Hater. Relative or relation?"

The overlord groaned, before noting the dead guy was holding something. With a squint, he was able to see that it looked like a torch. Stomping over to the body, Hater snatched the object from it, before kicking the skeleton-causing it to lose its head.

"WELL, " Wander said with a bit of a huff, " that's certainly no way to treat family."

Hater, however, chose to ignore him as he used his powers to light up the torch. With that, the great hall was illuminated, showcasing some strange pictographs on the walls. No doubt some ancient language from Auronians' past.

"If I know anything about long abandoned temples, it's that the writing on the walls are usually pretty important." Piped Sylvia.

Wander squinted at a nearby wall. The etching was a little hard to see through the murk, and covered by an inch of dust. He took a deep breath, and exhaled to clear the filth. The orange fuzzball coughed as he inhaled centuries old dust.

"If only we knew what they were tryin' t'say!" he wheezed. "I ain't so great with readin' pictures."

Just then, Peepers cleared his throat, and stepped forward. "Allow me." He made his way over to the wall, grabbing Hater's torch on the way. Hater glowered at him for touching his things, but decided to spare his life this time. This place was seriously giving him the creeps.

"You see, " Peepers began as he looked over the writing. "When I was gathering information on Aurona and the Morning Star, I ran into some trouble when a large chunk of stuff wasn't written in standard Intergalactic Coding. BUT, it wasn't too much for me to figure out. Luckily it has a pretty simple alphabet-not too far from what we're used to. Shouldn't be much to figure this out at all!"

The skeletal overlord groaned.

"You'd PROBABLY be done by now if you weren't busy YAPPING. Just shuddup and READ IT ALREADY!"

Peepers sighed.

"Yes sir."

Hater found himself standing to the side, already growing bored as the eyeball looked over the pictographs. The flame flickered as the officer moved his arm, aiding his impaired vision. Meanwhile, Wander decided to explore the place. He walked forward, starting down the hall, as he 'oo-ed' and 'ah-ed' over the different designs on the wall. When Sylvia noticed the little nomad wasn't by her side, she began to go after him.

"Oh no, Wander, don't you start going off! Who knows what sort of stuff is in this old place!"

Meanwhile, Peepers mumbled the unimportant parts to himself, as he went to work translating the writing on the wall.

"Protected by traps, obviously, the curse, yeah, pure heart, yadda yadda... huh."

No surprise, Hater was growing impatient.

"That had better be a GOOD 'huh', Peepers."

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, that huh. Well, it's not a bad huh, per se, it just-"

"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!"

"Okay, okay, geez, it's just this last part here is kinda... weird. It says, and I'm quoting here; 'PS. Watch out'."

On the other side of the hall, Sylvia warily eyed the darkened walls, and up at where the ceiling should be. Inky shadows clung to the ancient structure like thick, sticky cobwebs. She took a step back, and yelped as she felt the stone shift and sink under her foot.

"Oh no, THAT can't be good!"

Sylvia, like in most cases, was right. Not soon after did the sound of creaking-almost like old wheels and cogs coming to life and turning after centuries of non-use- fill the hall. Going by instinct, the zbornak found herself going closer to her buddy-ready to shield him from whatever troubles might come.

Sylvia, however, found herself crying out again as the walls suddenly began to fire darts-becoming a dangerous game of dodging.

"Uh, guys, A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

"Ah, I guess that was what we were supposed to watch out for, huh?" Peepers said, as he and Hater stared down the hall at Wander and Sylvia ducking, jumping, twisting and turning to avoid being shot. There was a rising sense of accomplishment, of pleasure, of triumph, as Hater watched his two most hated enemies struggle to stay alive, and yet the underlying feeling of panic and dread reminded him that he still needed them alive. And conscious.

Instinct must have taken over at that point, because the overlord found himself charging for Wander and Sylvia, barely avoiding the darts, himself. In fact, he noted with alarm, scratch the 'barely'; he had six darts protruding from one bony arm already. But without a circulatory system, the poison they contained had no effect on him.

Sylvia took note of this.

"The darts don't affect Bonehead! Stay behind him, Wander!"

And so it was, Hater scrambled down the long hall, Sylvia, Peepers, and Wander running as close to him as physically possible, a seemingly endless onslaught of darts whizzing all around them the whole way.

"We're... almost... there!" Hater gasped, already exhausted. He could see the end of the hall, it was in his sight, and- was that-

Hater's jaw dropped- not literally this time- as Wander grinned and waved from the end of the hall. Hadn't he just? But when?

"HOW DID YOU GET DOWN THERE?!"

"Oh," Wander said, still smiling as he leaned onto the nearest wall for comfort, "I just did a quick hop n' a jump, really. The darts kinda got a rhythm to 'em, more like dancing, really. Reminds me of the time this ol' Frog fella taught me how to swing dance. Now HE had some legs on him, I tell ya-"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TALKING?!"

Wander looked a little surprised and slightly hurt from the overlord interrupting his story. But before he could really say anything-one way or another- he was interrupted yet again. Sylvia peaked out from behind Hater as she yelled.

"WANDER, focus buddy! Do you see anything that might help us out here? Any off-switch or lever, or something?"

"Oh! Right, off switch. Okey dokey, I'll jus' go take a looksy~"

Wander turned around inspect the wall behind him.

"If I were an off-switch, where would I be?" he asked himself out loud, scratching his chin. Other than that flashy neon sign that read "pull lever to save your friends", pointing to a giant lever, he saw no clues what-so-ever.

"Huh. Well, would ya look at that." Wander shrugged, and reached for the lever.

And he reached. And stretched, and grunted, but the lever was just out of his reach. His little arms waved as he jumped, his hands swiping at open air. After awhile, he gave up, stood back, and studied it. Soon he had an idea.

"Ding!"

He rummaged around in his hat, until he found what he was looking for, and pulled out a long-handled grabbing device, the grabbing part on the end shaped like a dinosaur head.

"Ooo, fancy!"

With a poke of his tongue, and a little hum, Wander tried reaching for the lever again-this time with a very hungry dinosaur. Once the plastic creature had the handle in its mouth, he clutched the trigger and pulled.

"Om nom nom, that's a hungry fella!"

The room rumbled, freaking out the others. Their panic ended up being premature, however, as it suddenly stopped-the walls ceasing with their dart firing as well. All let out a relieved sigh.

"PHEW!" Peepers said first, wiping sweat from the side of his face. "Glad THAT'S over with. And here I was worried I'D be the one, out of all of us, to get shot by one of those things!"

The commander began strutting toward the end of the hall, no need to hurry now that the danger was gone. His strut was interrupted as his foot caught on a misplaced stone, causing him to pitch forward, and land on his face with a thud.

Well, that was embarrassing. Luckily his pride hurt more than his face. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, then got to his feet, hoping no one had seen that. As he reached up to readjust his helmet, he froze as he saw the dart sticking out of his palm.

He stared at the dart for a moment.

"Really?" he asked the Gods of chance, half-lidded and clearly unamused. Suddenly, his eye shot open, his pupil shrinking to the size of a pinhead, as the dull brown-grey walls of the temple melted away, revealing cascading hues of reds, purples, oranges, and blues.

Peepers shook his head and rubbed his eye, hoping to rid himself of such concerning imagery, but it did nothing but make the colors swirl faster.

"You okay, friend?" came the bubbling voice of some hideous monster. Peepers squeaked, snapping his head to the side, only to see said hideous beast. Big and orange, hairy and mean, with daggers for teeth and eyes of flame. A long, green tongue flickered out and wrapped around its lumpy, misshapen head.

"AAAAAAHHHG!" Peepers' scream of terror resonated through the long hall, and he took off running- right into the wall of swirling colors- and immediately fell backwards, in a daze.

"Hey, WATCH it!"

The watchdog, his eye taking a moment to focus, found himself breathing heavily as he prepared himself to be attacked by another monster….only to see the most beautiful unicorn in all the galaxies. The symbol on its flank had sugar and spices-everything nice in baking, he noted- and Peepers found himself hugging the unicorn's rump, as he immediately forgot about the orange fuzzbeast.

"Oh, Sugar Sprinkles, may we all someday be as beautiful as you unicorns!"

"Sugar Sprinkles" found herself using her tail to swipe the watchdog off of her, as she turned to talk to the other members of their party. The unicorn, actually being Sylvia, groaned.

"Great, just another problem. The only guy that knew what this stupid temple had, and now he's lost in la-la-land!"

Hater was busy yanking the darts from his arms, his face, and everywhere else they'd hit, an expression of pure done written across his hardened scowl. He seemed to glare at nothing, the glare finding a target as Peepers clung to his leg.

But Peepers only saw the towering, fluffy white bunny with the friendliest smile he'd ever seen. "I love you, fluffy bunny of impressive stature."

This seemed to break Hater out of his state of done.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

The overlord lifted the infected leg, while hopping up and down on the other, like the bunny that Peepers believed him to be. Shaking the leg didn't seem to do anything to dislodge the tiny commander, and when his hands began to spark, Sylvia snatched Peepers off of his leg, and plopped him into her saddle.

"C'mon, Twinkle Toes, let's go."

Peepers hugged her back, with no intentions of letting go, nuzzling her affectionately. "Yes! We will ride off into that sunset over there! Let us ride, Sugar Sprinkles!"

Sylvia grunted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure."

The three walked the remaining two yards to the end of the hall, Hater grumbling the entire way.

"Stupid planet... stupid trees... stupid Wander... STUPID temple... broke my Peepers..."

Now the four stood, looking up at what appeared to be a dead end. A solid wall with an enormous stone hog head protruding out from it stood in their way.

"Let me guess; the tusks are levers, right?" Sylvia was obviously unimpressed. Wander took one of the tusks in his hand- both were taller than he was- and shook it. It did indeed appear to be loose. Yup, they were levers.

"Hmm," The small nomad looked them over," I guess we jus' gotta pick one t'pull. But which one? Left...or the right? I'm right handed...but that doesn't mean the left hand is bad in comparison. Two lefts don't make a wrong...but it DOES make a right! Though, I dunno if that means a right is right or not….Guess we can always do eenie meenie!"

Wander squinted an eye, as he began to point at each lever-singing a little childish song.

"Eenie, meenie, minny, moe-catch a zbornak by the toe. If she hollers, the polite thing to do is let her go. Eenie. meenie, minny-"

"THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG," Hater finally shouted-having grown more frustrated with all the nonsense the nomad was spewing. He thrusted his arm forward, grabbing the tusk closest to him. "Stupid, all you had to do was pick o-"

The overlord didn't get to finish what he was saying, as the floor suddenly fell away under him-taking Sylvia and Peepers with him. Hater screamed in terror.

"AAAAAH- WRONG LEVER!"

Wander, who was still up on the entrance floor-having luckily been to the side closest to the warthog head- looked down the hole where his friends had just disappeared to. He raised a brow as he called down the black pit.

"Ya know, guys, I think that might have been the wrong lever!" Hearing no response, he continued a bit worried. "Huh, guess they can't hear me. Well, you know what they say...When in deep space, diddly-iddly do as the people do~"

Wander smiled widely as he grabbed his non-existent nose-as if he was about to go underwater- before jumping into the pit after his buddies. He laughed as he shouted gleefully, the darkness swallowing him as well.

"GERONIMO!"

* * *

Hater screamed as he continued to fall-the pit had went from a state of free-falling, to suddenly his bottom crashing into something hard. This, however, was not the end of his journey as the "something" was actually a tube. The skeleton found himself sliding down, feeling himself spinning all topsy turvy as the tube took him down to some unexpected destination- most likely his untimely doom.

Great. All that hard work, all the load of hippy dippy baloney, and here he was...going to die before he even SAW the Morning Star-let alone take over the universe!

Right as Hater was beginning to think one of the ancient gods of older times had it out for him, the overlord found the slide ending just as soon as it began-as he started to fall once again. However, his trip was much shorter as he suddenly found himself crashing into the solid stone ground.

Followed by something else suddenly crashing into his back.

Still addled and rattled from being thrown around in the darkness- as well as being spat out into more darkness, his sense of direction swallowed up by the inky murk- he let out a short scream when said thing bounced off of his back.

His mind began playing cruel games with his imagination, flashing image after image of what he could be trapped down there in the darkness with- a giant, hairy spider, fuzzy saber toothed dookleberry bats, flesh-eating moon rodents-

"AHHG! Stay away from me!" Hater jumped up and blasted a burst of lightning in the general vicinity of where he assumed the creature was, momentarily illuminating the room with a dull, sickly green glow.

"Yipe! Be careful! Y'almost hit me with that! Great idea usin' your powers as a light source, though, that'll come in handy!" Wander's voice lilted from the surrounding darkness.

Hater thought about this for a short moment, and screamed again.

Alone, in the dark, with Wander...Just great.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sylvia wasn't having a very fun time, either. She mumbled a few curse words as she pried herself off of the floor. She could feel Peepers clinging to her tail.

"Alright, Mister Touchey, loosen up a lil' would ya? Sheesh." She sighed as she squinted into the darkness-hardly able to see her own hand in front of her face. "Yikes, sure is dark isn't it? Alright, Wander, stay close. Don't need you going missing on top of all this, too."

The zbornak had been expecting some sort of reply from her best friend-whether it be an 'okey dokey' or an 'a-okay'. However, she was surprised when she didn't hear ANYthing. Sylvia began to stretch out her arms and feel around, hoping to feel any sign of her fuzzy friend.

"Wander? Wander, buddy, are you there?!"

"Sugar Sprinkles, tell my wife I'm staying in late for work tonight-there's a dispute in my bottom!"

"OH GROD, zip it watchdog! Wander, say something!"

Nothing.

Sylvia sighed as she realized he wasn't there. With the lack of waste from the back end of a snark's rear, she came to the conclusion that Lord Hater must have been missing as well. Putting two and two together, she glared into the darkness.

"Alright, he must be with bonehead. Come on, Peepers, let's go find them before they get themselves into MORE trouble."

Sylvia took a step forward, and jolted as she felt the yet another stone shift under her weight. OH NO, GREAT! Not another trap! The zbornak grabbed onto the commander, ready to run and dodge if she had to.

Imagine her surprise when the hall lit up, destroying the darkness and giving the two much needed light.

"HUH….Not what I was expecting, but I'll work with it."

"Bird is the word, Sprinkles...Bird IS the word."

"...Riiiiight."

 


	7. The Temple

** **

* * *

Wander was way too close for comfort.

Lord Hater and the nomad found themselves still in the dark- the overlord lighting his gloved hands for some light, as they made their way down the stone hall. His powers gave everything an eerie green glow, vexing the skeleton with the ever growing sense of unease. Hater had no idea where they were, or where the others had gone off to for that matter; and, he had no idea how they were supposed to find the relic they were looking for….let alone how they were going to escape alive.

And, to top it all off, the annoying fuzzball kept trying to grab at his other hand as they continued to walk.

"Would you STOP that," Hater mumbled, finding himself embarrassed about the situation as he jerked his hand out of the nomad's grasp. "I'm trying to concentrate here!"

"Whoops, sorry, Hater. Guess this old temple is just givin' me a case of the willies over here."

Hater grunted in reply. He was tired of walking down corridors in the darkness. He was tired of babysitting his most hated enemy. He didn't even want the stupid Morning Star now, he just wanted out of this temple, off of this planet; he wanted his room, his video games, his solitude.

With the way his day had been going, the skeletal being was only mildly surprised when the short hall ended in... a dead end. A wall, bathed in his pale green light, stood tall and defiant in their path.

"WHO EVEN BUILDS A HALL THAT GOES NOWHERE!"

Yelling made him feel better, it truly did.

"Hold on a minute!"

Hater's face fell as Wander took his elbow and shoved it upwards-as if it were a torch and not actually a part of him- and the light reached farther up the wall.

"Hmm... kinda looks like a picture that's all mixed up, doesn't it?" the fuzzy nomad noted. Hater looked up at the tiled wall, but he didn't see a picture. It was just random patterns that seemed to have no correlation to each other.

"No it doesn't." Hater mumbled.

"Yeah, sure it does!" Wander continued, letting the overlord's negativity go through one ear and out the other. "Jus' needs to be fiddled with a lil', is all!"

Before Hater could say anything against it, shooting down his theory with an ever eloquent 'that's stupid', he was taken aback by the sound of creaking. Wander had apparently been right, as he began to move the pieces around. Hater watched as his enemy stuck out his tongue, as he moved the ones in his reach. Wander frowned as he tried jumping up to reach the pieces at the top-but failed horribly. He turned to the skeleton with a smile.

"Ya mind getting the ones on top, friend? I'm sure if we work together, we can get this puzzle all figured out!"

Hater DID mind. However, he also didn't want to be in the creepy pyramid death trap of doom anymore, either. So with a roll of his eyes, he stretched out a hand and began moving the pieces with the nomad. After a while he glared.

"Why are you putting that one there? I just MOVED it!" The nomad moved the piece to a new location, which just caused the overlord to groan from frustration again. "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! Here, just let ME do it-stupid useless mop…"

"But I almost got it! I think it's supposed t'be a star, see? So this point need t'go over-"

Hater growled; Wander was stepping on his face now. He grabbed Wander's fuzzy body in his gloved hand, and yanked him off of his face.

"A star? That's just stupid! What does a star have to do with anything?!"

"Ain'cha lookin' for a thing called the Mornin' Star?" Wander shrugged, still dangling from his fist.

"IT ISN'T THAT KIND OF STAR!"

There was a shifting sound, as the last tile clicked into place, jarred by Hater's yelling. A deep rumble resonated off of the stone walls, and the floor gave way under the two, pitching them into another free fall.

"I HATE THIS PLAAAACE!"

The two landed on the ground with a crash. Hater-even through the pain of cracking his spine back into place- at least noted that THIS new location at least had torches lining the dirt covered walls. The overlord growled as he threw his arms into the air.

"LOOK AT THAT, it was another trap after all! Look what you did- ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

Hater had whipped himself around to poke Wander in the chest. It was his fault, and he needed the blame for continuing to make his life miserable. He huffed and puffed, and only found himself growing angrier as the nomad giggled every time the skeleton touched him.

"S-stoooop," Wander laughed, "that-haha- that tickles!"

That wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting, and the last one he wanted. Hater snatched his hand away, shaking it as if the little fuzzball had just infected him with space-cooties.

A creaking sound had Hater whipping back around to glare at Wander; what was be touching now? But he merely stood there, shrugging. The creaking soon turned to a whining, splintering sound, a split second before the far wall fell forward, revealing a giant stone marble.

Both Hater and Wander stood gaping at it for a moment.

"Shooould we run?" asked Wander.

"What? Oh! Uh, I don't know, is it... it's not really moving, do we just-"

As if finally awoken from its century long nap, the giant marble wobbled, and then slowly started rolling forward, gaining speed as it neared. Smaller marbles, about three feet in diameter, followed.

Running seemed like the best plan.

Hater began to scream as the ground started shaking violently- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?! Tree people that tried to murder you with boulder snakes and pretty flowers, temples with trap doors out the wazoo- GIANT STONE MARBLES CREATED WITH THE VERY PURPOSE OF CRUSHING VISITORS! Everything that could be wrong with one location ended up happening on the glorn forsaken planet!

The skeleton found himself looking up in a panic as he suddenly caught the sight of orange at his eye level. He turned his head as he continued to run, suddenly finding himself gaping. Wander was happily using one of the small rocks to roll around, as if they WEREN'T about to die. The nomad steered the rock so he was in front of the overlord, as he chirped enthusiastically.

"Whoo! Isn't this fun, Hater?"

Hater sputtered.

"W-WHAT?! NO! I do NOT find running for my life ENJOYABLE IN THE LEAST!"

"Aww, that's not good. Everything's enjoyable if you give it a chance!"

"NOT DYING!"

"Oh, well...huh. You might have a point there."

"DO SOMETHING!" Hater yelled. He watched as Wander shrugged, turned around on the marble, and jumped off- Hater's face fell. Did he just leave him there to be crushed?

The overlord yelped when his feet left the ground, and when he finally gathered the courage to open his eyes, he was flying above the rolling stones. What in glorn's name was happening now? His gaze snapped up and was met with that goofy grin; the two of them were swinging from some kind of thick vine, Hater wrapped tightly in one of Wander's arms, the other clutched the vine.

"HA!" Hater yelled down at the marbles, which actually looked like marbles from their new vantage point. "Thought you were gonna crush us, HUH? Thought we were scaaared, HUH?"

The marbles were beginning to not look like marbles again, were they getting bigger? ... No, they were getting closer. Hater realized in horror that momentum was sending them swinging back into the murderous stones. Hater screamed again as he clutched tighter to the swinging nomad.

THIS was it. This was going to be the way he finally died.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sylvia found herself with her own set of problems.

"Oh geeze," she said as she found herself stuck between a fork in their path, two directions to choose from, "which way are we supposed to go now?"

"Maybe I, Sir Peeps-a-lot, can be of assistance my colorful candy steed!"

Oh great, this guy again. She had nearly forgotten about the watchdog's condition, as he had been going in and out of sleep while she was traveling down the pyramid's lit halls. His weight and size was just about the same as Wander's, so it was easy to forget she was with an enemy at all. Sylvia eyed him warily as he fell off her saddle, landing on his face with an audible 'splat'.

Commander Peepers, however, didn't think much of it as he picked himself up and pointed down the hall towards the left.

"Tally onward, Sprinkles, this is the way we must go!"

The zbornak scoffed.

"Oh yeah? What makes you think that, squinty?"

"Can you keep a secret?" The officer leaned close to Sylvia as he began to whisper. "I can smell the bumble bees from here."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Shhh!" Sylvia found a finger pressed to her lips, and she glared down at the watchdog. He was really beginning to push his luck. A moment later his finger was gone, as he took off down the hall. Sylvia snorted in annoyance, and trudged after him, a heavy scowl on her face.

It looked as if someone had actually put thought into building this hall, the zbornak noted. Wide, arched niches were carved into the stone walls on both sides, the whole length of the hall. Stone lions, their mouths forever casted in toothy snarls, sat in each arch. A lit torch flickered between each arch, shadows dancing across the walls.

Sylvia jumped when Peepers was suddenly right next to her face, hanging from her bridle.

"Pssst... Sprinkles... they know we're here." he whispered.

She shivered. This place was giving her the creeps, and he wasn't helping.

"Heh, don't be ridiculous. I mean, we're obviously the only ones in this stuffy old temple." she chuckled nervously, eyes darting around.

"Nonsense!" Peepers continued to whisper, this time in a harsher tone. "don't you hear the buzzing? The bumble bees know we're coming, and they will readily defend their honey!"

The watchdog hopped back onto Sylvia's saddle, as he thrust his arm into the air- almost as if he was holding a sword that only he could see. Peepers then shouted loud enough so his voice echoed creepily off the walls.

"WELL, you can't hide your sweet honey marmalade from US, you bee-beasts! My beautiful unicorn and I will CLAIM your sweet vomit-y goodness in the name of the queen!"

Sugar Sprinkles was NOT amused. Sylvia growled, but decided to say nothing as she continued her way down the hall- don't engage in his nonsense. The watchdog had merely gone bonkers, koo-koo in the head big time, and she was only keeping an eye on him because she felt sorry for him. Yeah, that was it-sorry for the pathetic guy. He was making a total fool of himself- she would be completely heartless if she didn't feel even a smiggen of pity for him.

Sylvia had been so into her own thoughts, she had failed to notice that each row of torches were going out the further they went down the hall. It was only once they were engulfed by darkness once more did she realize there was a problem.

The problem only became bigger once she heard a low growl coming from behind her.

"Uh...Peepers...That's...that's you, right?"

"GRrrrrr! Graaah! Gr-huh? Oh, yeah, that's me." came Peeper's voice from the darkness. Sylvia relaxed some.

"Well cut it out! You're freakin' me out over-"

She was interrupted by a roar. Oh, she hoped that had been Peepers again.

"Wow!" she heard the commander say. "Yours was way better, Sprinkles."

Oh grop. Sylvia tried swallowing the lump in her throat. "Ah yeah... thaaaat, wasn't me."

She slowly turned around, completely losing whatever sense of direction she'd managed to hold onto in the inky blackness, and let out a squeaky "eep" when she saw countless pairs of glowing red eyes staring back at them.

"OKAY, WE'RE GETTING OUTTA HERE!"

Sylvia started running in the opposite direction of the glowing eyes- the sound of heavy stampeding far too close for comfort. She ran and ran, blinded by the dark and only vaguely aware of the arms wrapped tightly around her long neck. The zbornak was scared-she was TERRIFIED, alright?!

"Oh, I just hope Wander is having a better time than us!"

She had no time to spare any more thoughts to her best buddy, as she felt a clawed paw try to snatch her tail.

Oh, how she REALLY hated this place!

* * *

Lord Hater really hated this place!

The time of their destruction was quickly coming to hand- the large marble just seconds away from crushing them. He was going to die, in the arms of his worst enemy, and...and all his stuff was going to go to Peepers! His planets, his ship, HIS AWESOME GUITAR COLLECTION! Everything would go to him, and he would be touching them all with his itty bitty sweaty hands.

The whole situation really sucked!

The skeleton's thoughts quickly switched gears, however, as the nomad he was holding onto shifted his body-making them go towards the thing trying to kill them even faster!

WAS HE INSANE?!

"Hater! Ya gotta lean, okay? Trust me, buddy, everything's gonna be hunky dorey~!"

Terror for his life had Hater obeying without a second thought- not that he would have had time for one - and he leaned with everything he had. It only seemed to be swinging them toward the stone wall.

"WRONG WAY!" Wander yelped.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WHICH WAY!" he leaned the other way, and they avoided crashing into the wall my mere inches, only to swing back around toward the marble of doom that was still trying to murder them.

"YOU HAVE REALLY STUPID IDEAS!" Hater roared, angrily. Wander didn't reply to that, and Hater didn't know if he hadn't heard him or he was just ignoring him.

The terror only intensified once they were directly over the runaway boulder, as he felt gravity pulling them down toward it; had Wander let go of the vine?! That he had, and when Hater's sneakers planted themselves on the rolling stone, it took every reflex and balance ritual he knew to keep from tumbling off of it, legs pumping and scurrying as he tried his best to keep up.

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

Yelling was, for the first time Hater could remember, not helping him feel any better.

Wander, who had ended up being carried in Hater's arms as the skeleton continued to run for the both of him, merely smiled. The overlord found himself nearly tripping again when he was surprised by the sudden sound of banjo music. He glared down at the nomad.

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE TIME FOR THAT?!"

The little guy continued to play on-completely ignoring him once more. OH, oh that was IT! Hater was SO tempted to just throw him somewhere- maybe even in front of him so that the boulder could just crush him. Wouldn't THAT be perfect! Hater was so lost in his thoughts, that it took him a moment to realize that running on top of the large stone had become easier- his movements now matching the steady fast pace of the banjo music.

Wander was...helping him?

Hater didn't get to question this, however, as he looked up and noted that they were heading straight towards a dead end. The overlord screamed once more, finding himself tense up as he was ready to crash into the wall.

And still the banjo music played on.

* * *

Sylvia and Peepers had found themselves trapped-the wall behind them hindering their escape. The zbornak found herself frantically feeling the wall, as her eyes stayed focused on the red eyes that were coming closer and closer with every second. This was it, they were a goner.

No, they were NOT goners! This just meant that the time for running was over with-now was the time to fight for their survival. Sylvia put up her dukes, hoping around and preparing herself to start throwing punches. She was amped, she was ready to go.

Which was a good thing, because now the creatures were close enough she could actually make out the shadowy figures around the horrid glowing eyes. They were...they were the stoned lions from earlier! A few up front snarled, she could feel their hot breath on her face.

As well as smell their breath, oh boy!

"Alright, stand back Peepers. Mama has a date with destin- HUH?!"

Sylvia was surprised when the watchdog leapt in front of her, punching the nearest stone creature in the face. She would have found herself mildly impressed by the fact his fists were able to stand it….

That is, until Peepers had to spoil it by opening his mouth.

"Grrr- your stingers shall not harm a hair on my candy steed's mane! We have come for your honey, AND WE SHALL TAKE IT!"

The lion actually stopped snarling for a second, to look at the tiny combatant in bewilderment. The lions behind it stopped as well, momentarily shocked into silence. The assaulted lion shook its head, and was back to snarling, the rest joining in soon after.

The lions pounced, Sugar Sprinkles and Sir Peeps-a-lot leapt to meet them in battle. Fists flew, claws sliced, tails swung, and teeth bit.

Sylvia's foot made a direct hit to the side of a lion's head, the worn stone crumbling and turning to dust upon impact.

"AW yeah! You mess with the bull, you get the HORNS- " but being without a head did not seem to hinder the beast at all, and Sylvia ducked just in time to avoid having her face clawed off.

"Oh lupnuk."

Peepers' tiny fists beat uselessly against the back of one lion, hanging on best he could as the thing tried its best to throw him off.

"My hammer fists...THEY DO NOTHING AGAINST THE BEES!"

The watchdog was then suddenly bucked off the stone beast-causing him to crash into Sylvia. Both slammed into the stone wall, the darkness spinning around them. The lions used this time to get closer and closer; all were ready to pounce.

This was it, this was the end. The zbornak was going to die in the arms of a hallucinating watchdog, while her best buddy needed her. Wander could been out there, hurt, dying in a pool of his own blood- waiting for her to come to him. Knowing she would not be able to save him hurt her more than her already aching back did.

"Oh Wander, I'm so so sorry!"

Their demise, however, was going to have to wait. The walls around them rumbled violently, shaking the whole hall. Even the stone lions stopped their attack, as they looked around-just as alarmed by this development. Neither they, nor Sylvia and Peepers, had time to think much of it...as suddenly the adjacent wall was destroyed by a large mass-

Crushing the lions with them.

Sylvia and Peepers watched as the rest of their expedition team toppled off of the giant marble and fell to the floor of the hall, the marble continuing its course, taking out the wall across from it, too.

"Wander!" Sylvia shouted, grinning now. Wander leapt out of Hater's grasp, dashing over to his friend, leaping into her arms, laughing joyfully.

"Hey, Syl!"

They embraced.

Countless horrors that could have befallen her pal had been eating at the back of her mind, but she decided not to mention them; obviously he had been able to take care of himself.

"Glad to see ya, buddy."

Hater sat there, on the temple floor, glaring at the two. Just look at how happy those two morons were. They did not deserve to be happy, they belonged in a cell on his ship- forever miserable; and here they were just happy to have each other- even though they were in the belly of an ancient deathtrap- probably to never see the light of day again. They were happy, they were fine, while Hater was angry, repeatedly nearly killed, or terrified, and just plain miserable. It was how it always was with those two, wasn't it? Their existence served only to be the bane of his.

"The white rabbit has returned to save us all!" Peepers shouted, leaping at his boss, and latching onto his arm.

And then there was THIS guy!

Hater was no longer in the mood to deal with idiocy. The skeleton instantly grabbed onto the eyeball, throwing him to the ground, before jumping up to his full height. He raised his arms, completely ready to hurt his third in command. He smiled wickedly as he threw down his green bolts, making contact with the officer. Peepers screamed, body convulsing wildly. He didn't do it for too long, stopping just as soon as he had began. However, Peepers laid on the temple ground- a charred mess- all the same.

Yes, good, that actually DID make him feel a little more like his good old -a.k.a EVIL- self! Hater, in a better mood, looked up over at the two friends...who were busy looking disapprovingly at him. The skeleton's smile fell as he began to glare.

"What?"

Sylvia was the first to speak up.

"Was that REALLY necessary?"

"Yes."

Apparently it had been- Commander Peepers found himself groaning as he sat up. He blinked twice, looking at his fellow travel companions and the state they were in- Hater's robes a mess, Wander covered in dirt, and Sylvia sporting a nice black eye. He cleared his throat.

"Um, soooo...Any particular reason I have no idea where we are and why you guys look like crud?"

"See?" Hater gestured toward the commander. Yeah, that was totally what he meant to do.

Sylvia shot him a sideways glare.

"So that's all it took to get you out of loopy land? Ya done callin' me Sugar Sprinkles?" she asked Peepers.

His pupil shrank to the size of a pinhead.

"Who told you about Sugar- I mean, I don't know what you're yammering about... but hey! Those markings on the wall back..." Peepers looked around again, and scratched his head- where were they again? "Um, back somewhere, they warned about this place being filled with deadly traps! Like tricky puzzles-"

"We know." mumbled Hater.

"... aaand ferocious, sentient stone beasts-"

"We know." grumbled Sylvia.

"And something about a giant ball of some kind that'll squish you?"

"Oh! I know that one!" Wander piped up, waving his hand.

Ah. That was why they all looked like that. That was one question answered.

"Huh. So now what, did we do the reverse sphinx too, or what? Where's the Morning Star?"

That certainly got the group's attention. Wander was the first to respond, while the others were busy wondering what was a reverse sphinx, and why they should have been watching out for it.

"Nope, but if it's that nice looking lady sleeping in the other room there...I guess we're on the right track!"

"Nice lady?"

Peepers turned around and looked in the direction the nomad was referring to. There, indeed, was somebody in the other room. It looked like a woman with a lion head. The golden furred woman was curled up in a chair, the soft sound of snoring could be heard even at their distance. Oh...oh that was lucky! Maybe they could just sneak on by her without having any problems at all!

"Welp, let's not be rude! I'm gonna go introduce us!"

Before the others could stop him, Wander had already made his way into the room, and was almost to the sleeping guard.

Peepers face palmed. Hater glared. Sylvia shrugged and followed Wander.

"Well howdy, miss, I couldn't help but notice this real nice temple y'got here, an'- ... miss?"

The sphinx kicked in her sleep and mumbled, but didn't awaken. Wander tapped her on the shoulder, but still, she continued to sleep.

"Wander, this sphinx has been asleep for centuries, probably, and if a giant boulder crashing through didn't wake her up, I doubt anything will." Sylvia pointed out, coming to a stop beside him.

The nomad scratched his head in thought, looked up, and smiled. He swiped his hat off of his head, and began rooting around inside.

He pulled out a large, tightly woven ball of bright pink yarn.

"Yarn? How the heck is that supposed to help?" questioned the zbornak.

Wander shrugged.

"Dunno!" he tossed it across the room, and it made a muffled thudding sound as it bounced off of another wall.

One of the sphinx's eyes shot open.

"...Was that a yarn ball?"

The woman pounced the ball, as she began to roll around with it. She happily purred, as she kicked and pawed at the string. In no time at all she was happily laughing, as she began to unravel it.

The sphinx stopped, however, when her eyes landed on the group in her room. She shot up, back onto her feet, as she glared.

"YOU!" She shouted. "ALL of you- You DARE enter the great-"

Hater interrupted her.

"'Great Pyramid of the Morning Star'! Yes, WE KNOW WHERE WE ARE! GROD!"

The sphinx's glower intensified, as she made her way across the room-where a large door was waiting for her. She spread herself wide across it-just daring them to try anything funny.

"Then if you know where you are, you must know I can't let just anyone get their hands on the ancient relic."

Sylvia stepped forward, her hands balling into fists.

"So it's gonna be like that, huh?" she challenged. Just then, Peepers skidded to a halt in front of the zbornak, blocking her path.

"Wait! That's not how it works!" he protested. She merely shoved him aside with her foot.

"Out of the way, Sir Peeps-a-lot; I didn't come all this way, lost in the dark, chased and beaten by rabid granite, just to be turned away by this overgrown hairball!"

"No, listen to the small one! He knows what he speaks! I am not here to fight you; I am here to test you."

Sylvia stopped.

"Say what now?"

The Sphinx put down her arms as she explained.

"I am here to test all of life- all that dare come through- with knowledge of worlds past. It is my duty to make sure you are what you appear. It's simple, really, all you must do is answer my riddles."

Hater threw his arms in the air from frustration. UGH. This is so stupid, they were just merely feet away from his coveted relic-his weapon of ultimate distraction- and some giant pussy cat wanted to ask them childish things like RIDDLES?! Well, if the zbornak wasn't going to finish her off, HE would!

The skeleton began to spark, before he was interrupted by Wander grabbing onto his robe and legs-wrapping his arms around him in a big hug. The overlord ceased his powers as he glared down at the nomad.

"Now now, Hater- no violence, remember? If you're gonna be all grumpy and mean, we can just turn ourselves around n' come back some other time!"

AND GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN?! How about he just destroy the Sphinx, capture Wander, and force him to-

' _They must be willing.'_

Oh how he HATED curses!

"FINE," Hater shouted- one hundred and four percent DONE with everything. "Just get on and tell your stupid riddles already!"

"Very well!" The sphinx nodded. "Then it is time for the first riddle. Prepare your minds! Your souls! Your-" the unimpressed, angry, and blank stares had her clearing her throat and getting on with it already.

"What gets wetter... the more it dries?"

"The answer is obviously, 'a towel'." Sylvia answered. The others nodded, and "Ohh"'d in agreement. The sphinx looked bewildered.

"Alright, good, yes, very good, you have passed the first test! First of many! Okay, okay, here's one; the more of these you put into a barrel, the lighter it becomes!"

"Holes." Peepers answered, unimpressed. The sphinx's jaw dropped. She waved her hands in the air in front of her.

"Alright! Fine! You got that one, too. How's this one- what breaks the moment you speak its name?"

There was a pause. And then.

"Silence." Wander whispered.

The sphinx found herself sputtering, as she waved her arms wildly.

"But...but..BUT HOW! These are riddles from times past! Our most wise of men, long since gone, took them eons to to come up with them!"

"Yeah, " Sylvia responded with a role of her eyes. "And we've all heard them to death. They ain't profound, sister."

The others started moving towards the entrance once more, done with the guard's nonsense. The sphinx panted nervously as her claws dug into the stone frame.

"Nonono, seriously! I have one! A challenging one! Please! I am weightless, but you can see me- put me in a bucket and I'll make it lighter! What am-"

"AGAIN WITH THE STUPID 'HOLE'?!" Hater roared as he pushed her aside, not caring at all when she fell onto her face. He began walking backwards into the room as he shook his fist at the cat woman.

"Your riddles suck, lady!"

Wander was about to say something, before he was picked up by his zbornak companion-already walking through the door- with Peepers following behind.

"Don't even bother, buddy. Just say 'goodbye' to the pretty kitty already."

"Okey dokey, goodbye miss! I had fun playing your word games!"

Waving his hand, it didn't take long before they were gone...leaving one pathetically sad sphinx to question just where she had went horribly wrong.


	8. The Morning Star

** **

* * *

The room glowed- light bouncing off of every corner of the golden walls. Every inch of the floor was covered by gold coins, and treasures from lifetimes past. If the group members were treasure hunters, they would have hit the motherload.

Lord Hater, however, had no needs for these riches. it meant absolutely NOTHING to him. What does the future ruler of the universe need with money, when he could get whatever he wanted whenever he wanted? The skeleton glared, almost needing to cover his eyes with his hand to see through the intense light, as he searched for what could possibly be his relic. He smiled deviously to himself as he spotted-in the center of the room in the thicket of treasures, a pedestal with a glowing orb of light.

"Peepers, is THAT what we are looking for?"

"Huh?" Peepers had been busy admiring the diamond and ruby rings he'd picked up and placed on his fingers. Now he looked up and tried to save face.

"Oh! Uh, yes, sir, that would be it, alright! Now remember-"

Hater yelled out in surprise and anger as he reached for the relic, the glow around it acting as an effective force field, zapping his hand and denying him entrance.

"... As I was saying, only the pure of heart can-"

"YEAH I GET IT, PEEPERS!" Hater roared back. He spun around, grabbed Wander up by the back of his neck unkindly, and shoved him toward the blinding light.

"Just, reach in there and get it. And then give it to me, okay? Hurry up!"

Wander, looking more like a startled kitten at first, found himself twisting his head to look at the overlord as he wagged his finger and smiled.

"Now now, Hater, that's no way t'ask for something. What's the magic woooord?"

Hater glared.

"You can't be serious. GET IT NOW!"

The nomad didn't budge, and Hater was finding himself wanting to shove the furrball into the ball of light-whether it zapped them both or not. WILLING- THEY HAD TO WILLINGLY GRAB IT! Before he could do anything, his third in command chided him from the side.

"Sir…Remember-"

"YEAH, I KNOW! SHUDDUP PEEPERS!" Hater took a deep breath, before putting on his best-though ultimately strained- fake smile. "PLEASE, can you grab the relic-OR ELSE I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

The watchdog facepalmed, though Wander-on the other hand- didn't seem threatened at all as he smiled wider.

"Now THAT'S more like it! Okey dokey, time t'go fish you out your wand~."

"For the last time, it. Is. A. SCEPTRE! NOT a wand!" Hater hissed through clenched teeth, giving the fuzzball in his grip a brisk shake. Wander merely shrugged.

"Whatever you say." His hand rose slowly, and reached in... slowly. "Almost there..."

"Hurry up, hurry up! What is taking you so long!"

"Shhh, dramatic tension. Oop, I think I got something!"

"Pull it out, pull it out!"

Wander took his time pulling his hand back out. This was going to take a while. Meanwhile, Peepers and Sylvia stood watching the scene, one rapt, the other visibly bored.

"That's uh... a nice look on ya." Sylvia teased, nodding to the rings on Peepers' hand, that he'd forgotten all about.

The watchdog found himself jerking out of his trance-like fixated gaze, as he looked down at his own gloved hands. He laughed, as he began pulling them off.

"Oh, heh, WELL- it's just...you know how it is, big pile of treasure…" Peepers glared as he noted Sylvia started snickering at him. "Oh, be quiet you! We're supposed to be watching the scene with awe!"

Sylvia rolled her eyes, as they went back to watching the two over by the orb. Hater was practically having a mental breakdown.

"Would you STOP PLAYING AROUND?!"

"Gosh, sorry Hater-you know me an' my butter fingers. The darn thing, if you'd excuse my language, keeps slipping out of my hand. But I got a good grip on it now, heeeeere it comes!"

The overlord found himself shaking with excitement. Yes...YES! Here it was! The moment he had been waiting for! The moment he had went through tartarus and back for. The reason he endured all of the fuzzy orange mop's shenanigans- BUT NO MORE! This was it, he was about to gaze upon the weapon of ultimate destruction that would make him-LORD HATER- the most feared being IN ALL THE GALAXIES!

Wander's head popped out of the orb, followed by a shoulder and an arm. Hater's beam grew bigger and bigger, as he watched and waited for the hand to pull back so he could finally look at the great and powerful Morning Star!

And that beam fell and shattered the moment the weapon surfaced.

"I knew it was a magic wand!" Wander sang, grinning at the glowing weapon he now held. It looked anything but threatening- a simple star, shining with the light of a sun, atop a simple black stem. It really did resemble a child's toy.

Tears leaked from Sylvia's eyes she was laughing so hard, while Peepers stared at the thing in disbelief. Hater snatched the weapon from Wander, and dropped him on the ground.

"Now, now, sir... it isn't the size or appearance of a weapon that matters, it's how powerful it is!"

Sylvia laughed even harder. Peepers glared at her.

"Alright, good job! Ya did it, Hater! Congratulations!" Wander cheered, getting up off the floor and rubbing his sore bottom. The nomad spread his arms and stepped forward, hug ready to go, but froze when Hater bellowed, hands raised above his head, that mysterious lightning flashing and booming from nowhere.

"Finally! After days of torturous traps, walking, and being forced to share the same airspace as YOU two, I, at long last, posses the weapon of ultimate- huh?"

He lowered his arms and stared at the morning star. The star stood dull and black, the glow extinguished.

Hater found himself sputtering.

"But...But...It was, and now it's- YOU!" The skeleton pointed a finger threatening down at the nomad, sparking dangerously. He bellowed, no longer caring about keeping the pest happy. All he felt or cared about was the rage surging through him. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Wander looked confused.

"Nothing. Though, gotta tell ya, feeling kinda woozy. Must have been 'cause it was warm inside that glowing ball of light there."

Hater growled.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU- ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THE MORNING STAR!"

The nomad gave him a look.

"Now Hater, you don't mean that. Friends always care about each other!"

Hater paused, as he looked down at Wander-almost in surprise. Did he...did he still not get it? Did he honestly still believe the ruse he had made to get him to come here? Hater threw his head back, and he laughed. He laughed hard, and he laughed loud-a mean spirited cackle that filled up the whole room. He continued to laugh, even as he glared down at the pest.

"You...Haha- you honestly don't GET it? We are NOT friends-we were NEVER friends!"

Wander's eyes went wide, before he broke into a smile of his own.

"Oh...Ha, good one Hater. Pullin' my leg like that! You always were a kidder!"

"YOU BUFFOON! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I AM JOKING?!"

Wander's smile slipped from his face.

"But...But Hater, you said-"

"GROD! I was LYING! I LIED to get you to come here, I strung you along so I could USE your idiotic happy-go-lucky pure of heart NONSENSE so that you would GRAB me the Morning Star! A WEAPON THAT I WILL USE TO DESTROY YOU AND ANYONE THAT GETS IN MY WAY! I had to CONTROL myself from hurting you the whole time- AND OH HOW I WANTED TO- because the only use you had to me was THIS. But now I have it, and now...Heh, NOW YOU HAVE NO USE TO ME AT ALL!"

Hater loomed over the nomad, raising the staff over his head-fine, he couldn't use its powers yet? THEN HE WOULD USE IT TO SMASH IN HIS THICK SKULL! Wander, who found himself crashing into the treasure littered ground as he tripped in his escape, looked up with fear in his eyes. YES, THIS WAS IT.

This was the end.

The star came down, and clanked against the pile of gold where Wander once was, jewelry and coins scattering in every direction from the force. Sylvia had managed to swipe him away mere seconds before it was Wander's head scattering across the room. She tossed him onto her back, where he gripped her reins tightly, as she sped out of the room, and past the sphinx who was preoccupied with her ball of yarn.

Hater's roar of frustration followed them down the hall, through the chambers, the very walls seemed to vibrate with it as they dashed out into the forest. The commander and overlord chased the two out of the temple-firing weapons and lighting bolts that missed them completely. Finally, as the two hit the fresh air of the outside world, Lord Hater glared as he saw the two had already made their orbble and were beginning to fly away. The skeleton raised his hands, ready to fire at them and see the two come crashing to the ground.

Hater found himself coming to a sudden halt, mid-attack, as Wander turned around last second. The nomad no longer looked afraid-he looked...sad? No, not quite right either. Whatever it was, the look found itself striking his chest like a bolt of lightening-making him lose his breath- as he instead watched them float away into space until they were nothing more than a spec across the horizon.

"Sir," Peepers cried, " you had them in range-why didn't you shoot them?!"

Hater honestly didn't know the answer.

* * *

Neither Sylvia or Wander spoke until the orbble broke through the planet's atmosphere, where the dark, endless void of space provided a much needed change of scenery, and broke the heavy sense of tension that had befallen the two friends.

"Oh wow, you mean to tell me that Lord Hater was faking the whole time? Lying? Ha! Who would have guessed that? Oh, right, I did." Sylvia boasted. Wander didn't reply, and she didn't think too much of it. They touched down on a nearby moon, the shrubs dotting the area indicating it had breathable air, and the orbble popped.

"Ah, but don't worry about it, right? It's no problem! We'll just find Lord Hater, get back the stupid wand, return it, bury it, whatever it takes, bam, done! Universe saved! What do ya say, Wander? ... Wander?"

When Wander still didn't respond, she looked back at him. The look on his face broke her heart. Sylvia stopped her pacing as she stretched her neck closer to her buddy- trying to look under his hat so she could look him in the eyes. She was startled, however, when she saw the tears rolling down his furry face.

"Wander…"

The nomad sniffed, still refusing to look at her as he finally spoke up-his voice more of a croak than anything else.

"You were right, Sylvia. I just thought...I thought things were different this time, you know? I mean, I believe that somewhere in him there's some good-there has to be. But I...I thought this was it. I thought this was gonna be the turning point for all of us. I…

"Oh Sylvia, " he sobbed, bringing his hands to his face as he buried it away with his shame. " I was such a fool. I thought maybe jus' spending some time with us...with me would make him come around. I..I honestly thought I was gettin' through t'him! We had...I thought we had… I..I guess it don't matter much what i thought, huh? I was wrong, and that is that. And, and it HURTS, Syl. I just…"

He cut himself off as he cried some more, his body shaking as he tried to suppress it.

"It just hurts…"

Unshed tears burned behind Sylvia's eyes from seeing her best pal so utterly crushed. She couldn't recall ever seeing him like this before. Things rarely got to Wander, and on the rare occasions they did, he'd always been able to shrug them off before they'd reached whatever territory they were wallowing in now.

A three fingered hand reached out and pulled the nomad in. She pressed him against her belly and he cried the rest of his tears there. She patted and rubbed his back and let him cry. When the sobbing had died down again, Sylvia sighed.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Look, I didn't know it meant that much to ya. Really, I had no idea! And hey, for what it's worth, I don't think Bonehe-, uh, Lord Hater, is ALL bad. I'm sure he has some good in him... deep, deep down. Really deep, like waaaay deep. And if anyone's ever going to find it, it'll be you, Wander. But right now..." the zbornak trailed off and gazed at the sky, a dark velvet sea disrupted only by distant planets, stars, and moons.

"Right now we need to find him and get that weapon back. If we give up now, it won't only be too late to save him, it'll be too late to save ourselves! And heck, the rest of the universe, for that matter. So? What's it gonna be, pal? Is this it? Or do you think this galaxy is still worth saving?"

"S-save Hater?"

Wander wiped his eyes as he tried composing himself, he sniffed one last time as he looked up at his pal. Though reddened and puffy from his crying, a look of determination replaced his sadness.

"Yeah...Yeah I do, Syl."

"Good, then let's get going, shall we?"

The zbornak held out her hand, waiting for her buddy to grab it. Once he did, she gave him a good yank as she threw him into the air-Wander landing back in her saddle. Wander yanked off his hat, pulling out his orbble juice, as he flew a bubble-encasing the two. Right as they were about to make their way back towards the planet, the two friends were startled as a familiar ship flew by.

It was Hater's, much faster than their orbble travel- skull ship...and already it was starting to make its way far off into the distance.

"Come on, Sylvia," Wander cried, "we got a ship to catch!"

Wander just hoped they weren't too late.

* * *

Meanwhile, just outside the star system, was a little caravan parked amongst an asteroid field for some rest. Space beasts- very much like a cross of a camel and a walrus- could be seen sleeping. Space beasts were the perfect travel companions, able to store air in their humps that could last them for days. So the lack of oxygen was no problem for them.

Inside the caravan, however, was a different story as a recognizable old woman checked her vessel's oxygen tanks. Everything seemed to be running well enough, though she-as well as her pets- would need to find a planet with atmosphere within the next couple days.

"All will be well, this I have no doubt." The fortune teller smiled to herself, as she made her way towards her bed in the very back of the room. However, as she was walking around the cluttered room, her wide hips bumped into her little table- her arms instantly shooting outwards to catch her crystal ball before it fell.

Her tarot cards, however, were not as lucky.

"Oh, drat, sometimes I forget I'm not as tiny as I used to be!"

Old age had a way of changing a person, after all. However, as old as the woman might have been, her eyesight was still as sharp as ever. And as she bent over to pick up the fallen cards, one card caught her eye in particular- being the only one of the deck that landed faced up. The fortune teller raised a brow, as she began to pick it up.

The Tower stared hauntingly before her, as she felt her body prick from goosebumps.

"How peculiar," she mumbled, her mind thinking back to a certain fuzzy mop of a young man. She laid the card down on the table, as she began to pick up the others. She sighed to herself as picked up the last one, before shuffling the deck once more.

"But no matter, I'm sure all will go well. After all…"

The fortune teller placed the card from the top of her deck next to the tower on the table, the Death card looking back at her.

"The unexpected brings with it new beginnings."

 


	9. The Inception

** **

* * *

_He needed to get away._

_He needed to escape, needed to hide._

_It was gaining on him._

_Lord Hater found his chest rising and falling with no rhyme or reason, as smoke blinded his vision. Everywhere he turned was fire- trees, shrubs, even patches of the very ground he treaded upon. Flames were trying to consume him, swallow him whole, just as they were eating at the forest he was trapped inside._

_He couldn't be trapped-not here, not now._ _ **IT**_   _was coming!_

_The skeleton huffed and puffed as he finally spotted a clearing in the flames, as he charged forth. Hater had already wasted too much time- it was fast, it was cunning. If he didn't watch out, it would spring up out of nowhere and attack!_

_Branches scraped against bones and fabric as he ran, the sound affecting him more than the pain. The sound was like screeching on a chalkboard, the vibrations sending itself to his very core as if it would shatter him. But he couldn't worry, there was no time to worry!_

_It was_ _**coming.** _

_Hater had been looking around him, keeping an eye out for large shadows among the flames and trees, that he did not notice a root sticking up hazardly from the ground. The overlord cried out as his foot caught onto it, causing him to trip and fall face-first to the ground. No no no,_ _ **HE HAD NO TIME FOR THIS!**_   _Hater looked behind him, seeing a flash of a familiarly haunting shape slither some distance behind him. He screamed again, as he picked himself up and began running again._

_**It was too late.** _

_Lord Hater found himself falling down once more, as something large and furry wrapped itself around his leg- yanking him off the ground and slamming him back again. Hater closed his eyes, embracing for the impact. Once he opened them again, he looked up in horror at the very thing that had been chasing him through the burning forest._

_Towering over the skeleton was a fur-covered creature, the only closest way to describe it was that it was reptilian in nature- very much like a snake. Red and yellow hues of fire reflected off of its many eyes, as it took in Hater's every movement. A purple fork tongue darted out of its mouth, licking at some of the orange matted fur around it. The monster hissed softly, as it stared down at the overlord underneath him-swaying its body as the green hat upon its head bobbed along with it._

_Hater found his fear combining itself with anger as the seconds ticked by-soon becoming minutes. And still, the monster did nothing but stare. What was it waiting for?!_

" _WELL," Hater bellowed, "WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG? Don't just stay there! You're...you're taunting me! YOU ARE WAITING FOR ME TO DROP MY GUARD!"_

_Still the furry snake did nothing but stare._

" _What do you want from me," the skeleton cried out in a frenzy, "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"_

_The snake came closer, leaning down towards the overlord- Hater flinched from fright, expecting an attack-what disturbed him more was when the monster suddenly began hissing in his ear._

" _Haaaaaterrrrr…"_

_The skeleton's eyes became wide as saucers as he instantly recognized the voice._

" _W-w-WANDER?!"_

_Hater didn't have time to question this any further, as the snake suddenly attacked-its large fangs stabbing through his hood and skull. Pain engulfed his senses as he screamed out in agony._

* * *

"HAARNGLEDON'TEATMYHEahuh?" Hater shot up in bed with a loud snort, arms shooting up to cover his head. It took a moment for his bloodshot eyes to register the fact he was staring at his bedroom wall, and not the innards of a hungry Wander snake. That he was laying in his water bed, and not in the stomach of a hideous beast. He lowered his arms slowly, and glanced around the room- good, no one had seen that. Even Captain Tim hadn't been awoken from his slumber.

A clawed hand rose up and closed cruelly on the nightcap situated atop his head. He tugged it off and whipped it onto the floor in anger. It barely made a sound as it came down, joining the rest of the miscellaneous junk that littered his bedroom floor. He fried it to ashes for good measure, but he was still angry.

"Even in my dreams!" He shouted at the ceiling. "He tortures me even while I'm sleeping!" He threw the covers off of himself, and swung his feet over the edge of his bed.

"But not for long!"

He slipped his feet into his slippers, and stood. Captain Tim had finally been stirred from sleep, and watched his master silently from his cushy bed.

"Soon, I, and the rest of the universe, will finally be RID of that monstrous little cretin!"

His arms flew up, and he grinned wickedly- but the grin was forced and did not last. He paused, arms still risen. That wasn't right.

"I said..." Hater began, annoyed. "Soon, I, and the rest of the universe, will finally be RID of that monstrous little cretin!"

He paused again. His eyes darted around the room, expectantly.

Nope, still nothing.

"Where are my thunder and lightning effects!" Hater boomed, miffed. "How am I supposed to feel good about Wander's inevitable demise WITHOUT MY THUNDER AND LIGHTNING EFFECTS! It's broken! PEEPERS!"

But Peepers was elsewhere in the ship, busy researching the artifact, hoping to find answers as to why it had suddenly stopped working. Hater knew this, and he knew he'd have to deal with this on his own. He slumped and glowered at the wall as he found a yawn escape him.

"Maybe it's because I'm still tired and achy from the whole ordeal, " the skeleton mumbled to himself. Where his third in command had went straight to doing research, Hater -on the other hand- had went straight to his room. His bed had beckoned him, and nothing was going to keep him from it-not even the fact it had been taken prisoner by his pet abomination. All it took was the overlord, after changing into some nice clean pajamas, plopping face-first on his bed. Captain Tim had merely hissed at him as he scurried off to his own bed and went back to sleep.

Hater, however, hadn't been as lucky. He had tossed and turned, his body begging for the sweet release of sleep. But every time he would relax enough, he would see Wander's stupid sad face-haunting him from under his eyelids. It was as if it was imprinted there-burned and branded as a scar on his mind. It had taken him an hour or so before he had been able to finally get to sleep...And then look what happened! The idiotic nomad was there, too!

Hater growled as he looked over at the alarm clock by his bed.

"ARE YOU FREAKEN KIDDING ME! That was only like an hour and a half! You ruin everything, Wander! You ruin my wa-RELIC! You ruined my sleep! YOU EVEN RUINED THE SATISFACTION OF GETTING THAT HAPPY SAPPY SMILE OFF YOUR FACE! Ooooo, I HATE YOU WANDER!"

Captain Tim hissed from his bed- his hate for the fuzzy mop also evident.

Hater actually smiled now, a genuine smile, and he walked over to pick up his beloved pet. Tim struggled, but Hater barely noticed.

"You hate him too, don't you? Yes you do! You're such a good boy, yes you are! We're happy that Wander was so sad, aren't we? Yes we are!" He cooed to the wriggling abomination in his hands.

"No, you're not." Captain Tim said, simply.

Hater's face fell. He gaped at his pet in terror.

"Wh... what did you say?"

"Admit it, Hater; you finally got to see Wander completely crushed, and you choked. It wasn't satisfaction you felt at all, was it? Wasn't what you'd expected, was it?"

Tim was dropped, and Hater backed away, fear reflected in his eyes.

"No! Shut up! Bad Captain Tim!"

The arachnoid scurried after him and he whimpered.

"Was it really all bad? Those few days you spent with him, was it really all that bad?"

"Yes! It was!"

" Having someone around who genuinely wanted to see you happy? Someone to sing you to sleep?" The lilting tune of the nomad's lullaby drifted all around, under Tim's words, now.

"No, stop it! JUST SHUT UP!" Hater pressed his hands into the sides of his skull, where his ears would have been.

"Did you miss the way he looked at you, or did you ignore it? You were too busy looking for the fear, that you completely overlooked the obvious! Wander never feared you! He-" The words were drowned out there, the lullaby steadily growing louder, on loop, it was deafening now, and Hater screamed.

And sat up in bed for a second time.

The skeleton huffed and puffed, trying to control his breathing, as he realized it had all been another dream. Hater looked to his side, where a now awake Captain Tim had its body tilted at him-a mannerism the overlord had long figured out was his pet's way of showing he was curious. He picked Tim up, holding him at arm's length, as he skeptically raised a boney brow.

"Uh...Tim?"

No response.

"Captain Tim, as your master and the one that outranks you, I ORDER you to say something!"

When the monster instead growled and started nibbling on his hand in a frenzy, Hater sighed before happily bringing his pet to his chest in a massive hug. Good, this wasn't a dream. This was real-it had to be real! The skeleton used his free hand to pet his abomination soothingly, as his other remained a hostage chewtoy. He threw a glance towards his alarm clock, exhaling once more-this time in frustration- as he realized both his dreams and the waking world shared something in common...Still, he had only been asleep for an hour and a half.

Hater's thoughts were beginning to drift towards his dreams once more...or, more like towards a certain pest once more, when he was jerked back towards reality by the sound of his door bursting open. The skeleton screamed- for a second fearing the Wander Snake had come to attack him again- when he realized who it really was.

"P...PEEPERS?!"

Captain Tim growled, getting out of his master's grasp as he arched his legs- ready to rip apart the commander in an instant.

The commander's dire message died in his throat and he cowered behind the papers he'd printed out, as he stared down the monster about to pounce.

"S-sir, I uh... I discovered a vital bit of information regarding the artifact, and why it's not working, but I won't be able to tell you if my face is being eaten." Peepers spoke quickly, some of his words running together.

"What? Oh." Hater reached a hand out to pet Captain Tim, and the creature spun around and hissed and spat at him, before scurrying off and hiding behind his nightstand.

The watchdog sighed and slumped with relief, then immediately straightening- reclaiming the posture of a dignified commander- and clearing his throat, he looked over the papers in his hand.

"Now then! It seems the Morning Star is... pretty much useless, without a battery to charge it. Like most things these days, am I right, sir?" Peepers chuckled uneasily.

"Then get a battery! What's the problem!" Hater boomed. Peepers jumped and fumbled the papers.

"Uh! Well you see, it has to be a very special kind of battery. This thing runs on positive energy. It needs a pure heart."

The overlord said nothing, he just sat and stared blankly, features set in incomprehension. He blinked.

"In other words, it needs to absorb Wander's life energy for it to work." Peepers replied, flatly. Hater's expression didn't change much, but he nodded once.

"And Wander? What happens to him?" he mumbled.

"Uh well... without life energy, I guess... he'll die?" Peepers shrugged. "Isn't that what you wanted all along, sir? He'll finally be out of our way! We- er, YOU can finally take over the universe!"

"Yes! Yes! That's exactly what I want!" Hater shouted, his eyes darting to his nightstand, as if daring Captain Tim to disagree with him again.

"Then good! Great, even! NOW, all we have to do is find Wander and Salvia and lure them into a trap. Dispose of the zbornak, capture Wander, drain him of his energy- and BOOM badda bing! No more Wander, no more Sylvia, and the universe is yours!"

The watchdog found himself stopping his excitement as he mumbled to himself- enough so his lord couldn't hear him.

"Too bad, though, I never DID get those spices from them."

Before Hater could order his commander to speak louder, the skeleton was startled when his ship began blasting an alarm- all rooms and hallways on the ship flashing red. Peepers, who was also startled, found himself giving a shrill cry as he dropped his papers-adding themselves to the rest of the garbage on the overlord's floor. The soldier ran to the side of Hater's bed, where he knew the remotes were, as he pointed one of them at the giant monitor. The screen came to life, static dispersing and disappearing as the likeness of two familiar nomads looked back at them.

"Scratch looking for them, sir," Peepers said excitedly, " they seem to be heading right towards us! WELL, that certainly saves US the trouble. What would you like us to do, sir? Should we snatch them up now, oooor...?"

They were coming...here? And now? But why? Hater looked at the monitor, taking in the live footage of his nemeses. The skeleton could only take in the zbornak's death glare as she rushed towards the screen- Wander's face completely hidden by this hat. Hater couldn't help but find himself wondering what the nomad was hiding under there. Was he...was he still sad? Was he just as angry as he companion, furious that he was tricked by the overlord's cunning? Or did he already bounce back, and he had that stupidly annoying carefree grin again?

UGH, it probably was the last one, wasn't it? Stupid Wander...couldn't even stay upset for more than five minutes! And here he had been obsessed- MILDLY CONTEMPLATING! He had only SLIGHTLY been thinking about him, after all! But no, all of it was for nothing, apparently, because it would be as if NOTHING ever happened!

Hater was interrupted from his thoughts, as his commander stared at him quizzically.

"...Sir?"

"Huh, wuh- Oh. Right. Uh, just...just let them come! Prepare the ship, get out the biggest weapons- the most dangerous ones that we have! Enough to hurt them- But nothing more! I need Wander alive, huh? Then fine! I'll play by those rules. Let him come to me!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Peepers scurried out of the room, already shouting orders into his communicator- no doubt waking up the army from their own slumber. Hater found himself standing straight until his door was closed, and sighed as he slumped. He...he could do this. He was ready to do this. He WANTED to do this!

Captain Tim crawled out from behind the dresser as he sat in front of it-merely watching his owner. Hater noticed and glared at him.

"Don't you start, again! Soon, Wander will be dead and I will have everything I need to be finish ruling the galaxy. And finally, with him out of the way, I'll have everything I always wanted! I'll be happy! So loooong, Waaaandeeer, I'm going to enjoy your demise!"

Now to actually make himself believe everything he said...


	10. The End

** **

* * *

It wasn't the first time Sylvia had snuck into Lord Hater's ship...and she had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. The zbornak, as well as her fuzzy companion, found themselves sneaking in the only entrance available- the hatch where the ship fired its torpedos. (If it had a term, Sylvia couldn't be bothered to know it and she refused to believe Wander's name of "shooty slot" was at ALL accurate.) Still, they were lucky that it was empty, as they crawled their way into the tube. All it took was one strong kick, and both of the nomads were inside and into the torpedo loading dock.

Okay, the easy part was done-they were inside. The sneaking around completely unnoticed as they made their way around the ship, trying to find where the skeleton was hiding his wand...now that was a different story entirely.

"We gotta lay low, buddy." Sylvia whispered to Wander, who nodded. "And for blorgnawk's sake, stay quiet!" Another nod. The zbornak looked around for a clever way to sneak around, and she jumped when she was tapped on the shoulder.

Luckily, it had only been Wander. He grinned as she glared at him, and he pointed upwards. Her gaze followed his gesture, and landed on a large ventilation grate directly above their head.

"Good goin', Wander, that's perfect!" she whispered. Wander gave a thumbs-up. Sylvia stretched up on her toes, finding she could just barely reach the grate, and grunted in effort as she tried prying it off.

"Y'know... when I said be quiet, I didn't mean silent. You're creepin' me out a little."

Wander smiled and shrugged. One more tug and the covering to the shaft came loose. She prepared to leap, and her fuzzy friend held on tight, before they both disappeared up through the vent.

* * *

"Uh... should we stop them? Or something?" Asked the watchdog by the side of the monitor. The two intruders had been watched the whole time, and Commander Peepers, who was lounging in his seat watching, munching on a bag of popcorn in his lap, had to admit he was mildly impressed that they had managed to find the missile compartment entrance.

"Did you hear me give the order?" Peepers answered with a question. The watchdog shrugged.

"Uhhh, no?"

"Did you hear me say, 'oh! Wander and Sylvia have entered the ship! Go get them!"

"...No?"

"Then shut up and get me more popcorn, would ya?"

The lower ranking officer sighed before saluting, as he went off to do as he was told. Peepers, however, continued to watch the screen with amusement. It wasn't every day he got to see their biggest foes walking right into their cleverly set up trap, and he was NOT going to miss the show!

"Too bad Lord Hater's missing out, " he couldn't help but say to himself, "shame. He's been acting real weird since we got back…"

He wasn't the skeleton's number two...er, THREE, for nothing! It was his job to know everything that was happening on his ship-and Peepers could easily see something was up. Though, with all the rough housing and touching he had to do with a certain cretin...WELL, the watchdog couldn't completely blame him for being out of it, considering how usually he was so antisocial.

Peepers cried out in alarm as he suddenly heard a very familiar voice shouting in the room.

"PEEPERS!"

Looking behind him, the watchdog was surprised when he saw no one.

"Strange...must be my mind playing tricks on me. Heh."

He found himself shrieking again as Hater's voice blasted throughout the room once more.

"PEEPERS, STOP IGNORING ME! Pick up!"

Oh, right, communicator-duh. The commander, picking up his standard issued talking device, pushed the button as he replied confidently-covering up the fact he had nearly had a heart attack.

"Right here, sir."

"Where are they, " he growled, skipping the pleasantries, "are they here yet?"

"Just got inside, sir. Keeping an eye on them as we speak."

"All you are IS an eye!"

"A figure of speech, sir."

"I don't CARE what it is, just watch them! I want you to bring them straight to the throne room once they've been contained- GOT IT?!"

Peepers rolled his eye. Well, it looked like Hater was starting to feel like himself again- better than whatever you would say was going on earlier. He sighed, before clicking the button on the communicator to respond.

"Yes, Lord Hater, one hundred percent clear."

"Good! HATER OUT!"

Putting the communicator back in his pocket, the commander sat up as he put his focus back on the screen. Luckily they were still in the vents, so he hadn't missed any action yet.

The ventilation shafts on Lord Hater's ship were good sized, but Sylvia was better sized. The zbornak found it difficult to maneuver through them, grunting every time she struggled to pull herself forward. Wander was faring better, as he crawled along behind her.

"You better not let one loose now, Syl." Wander mumbled, glancing worriedly at the zbornak butt not too far from his face.

"Now isn't the time for jokes, Wander." Sylvia hissed.

"I'm just sayin', y'let one slip out, an we're both done for." There was a muffled snort from up ahead, as Sylvia did her best not to laugh.

"Wander I'm being serious here, shush!"

"That would be the stinkiest way t'go I've ever heard about."

The whole vent rattled and shook along with her as she snorted laughter, her two hands over her mouth not doing much good. The sudden loud creaking managed to stop the giggles, however.

"Oh blorpnik." Was all she had time to say, before the vent gave out and fell apart, sending both of them crashing down into the room below.

The two nomads cried out in alarm, Sylvia landing face first in a pile of rubble as Wander slammed onto her back before sliding off onto the floor. The zbornak groaned, momentarily needing a moment to collect herself as the room was spinning around her. Oh boy, she must have been out of it because she could swear she was seeing red and white dots everywhere!

Once her vision came to, she realized she wasn't just seeing spots from a possible concussion- and, in fact, those spots suddenly became…

"Watchdogs!" Sylvia shouted, instantly jumping back to her feet- fists up and ready to rumble- as she put herself between Wander and the soldiers. "Alright, buddy, stay back- I got this. YA HEAR THAT, YA BUNCH OF ONE-EYED FREAKS?! BRING IT ON!"

The zbornak danced around, punching the air, ready for the fists to start flying...when she was suddenly interrupted by her best friend poking her on the shoulder.

"Um...Syl?"

"Not now, pal, can't you see we're being attacked!"

"Yeeeah, well, actually, we're kinda...sorta...not. In fact, it almost seems like they're busy ignoring us...kinda RUDE, if ya asked me."

There was a sharp hissing sound from across the room, and it took Sylvia a minute to realize they were being shushed.

"We're trying to watch the television over here, do you mind?" one of the watchdogs snapped. The zbornak lowered her dukes and blinked at them as she took in the full picture; they really were just... watching television. A few more hung near the far end, playing a game of pool.

"What gives?" Sylvia was mildly annoyed. A couple of the watchdogs spared her a glance.

"Sorry, man, we're on break. Nothing personal, we still hate you and all, but..." the eyeball finished with a lazy shrug, before turning back to the television.

"Well okay, I guess we'll just... be going, then." Said Sylvia, dusting herself off, and heading toward the door.

"We're real sorry about the ceiling, you guys!" Wander added, following close behind. They both flinched and froze when the intercom crackled overhead.

"What are you worthless morons doing! Wander and Sylvia fall into your laps, LITERALLY, and you're just going to let them leave?! GET THEM! And MAYBE I won't report this insubordination to Lord Hater!"

That seemed to be all the incentive the soldiers needed, as the watchdogs around the room leapt into action. The biggest one of the group, actually having some serious muscles, was the first to attack the zbornak head on. Sylvia growled as she took the punch to the face, before returning it with an uppercut of her own. A gang, meanwhile, tried to dogpile her from behind, before they ended up all being smacked and flung across the room-landing and destroying the pool table.

The watchdogs cried out in horror.

"Not the pool table! It took us MONTHS to convince Commander Peepers to get us one!" One shouted.

"YOU MONSTER, " another one bellowed.

"There there, Leslie," a shorter soldier was busy comforting a taller watchdog in his arms-Leslie sobbing loudly, "shhh. It'll be okay. There's still the foosball table."

Sylvia didn't have time to feel bad, before the watchdogs began attacking again. Meanwhile, Wander found himself cornered by the two officers that were playing pool earlier, and witnessed its destruction. With their sticks in hand, they both began swinging them- vigorously trying to hit the orange mop of a nomad. Wander, however, smiled as he ducked and twisted under the swings.

"Woah, watch it fellas! Somebody's gonna poke an eye out!"

The watchdogs ignored him as they continued to desperately try and turn his skull into a broken pinata. However, one must have lost their rhythm as the one on the left swung at the same time as the one on the right-their poles colliding into each other's heads, knocking each other out. Wander tsked as he looked down at their unconscious bodies with a frown.

"Tsk tsk, tooold ya."

Left, right, uppercut, left hook, tail swipe, aw yeah, Sylvia had this in the bag. And here she was convinced that today was going to be a bad day! She smirked to herself as she hipchecked three watchdogs at once.

"Haha! Is that all you go-rrk!" Her hands flew up to grab at whatever had been thrown around her neck. She whipped her head back to see a watchdog standing behind her, holding a long pole, the short loop at the end of it tightened around her neck even more as the watchdog glared, tears brimming in its eye.

"This is for the pool table!" It cried, just before voltage shot through the pole. Sylvia screamed as she was electrocuted, and it took nine watchdogs to drag her limp body to a cage with wheels, and shove her inside. As soon as the door clanged shut, the bars buzzed to life, powerful lasers shooting down them, coating them in a sort of energy force field.

Every watchdog in the room had stopped to watch that take place, as did Wander. His best friend was just captured, so when the chain was wrapped around him and the cuffs were slapped across his wrists, he didn't bother fighting; it was probably best to just go with the flow now.

"Psst." One watchdog whispered to the one beside him. "Where did that cage come from?"

"Plot devise, better not to question it."

The two nomads were escorted out of the room.

* * *

Wander had become silent as they made their way down the long halls- an anxious feelings working its way through him and resting in his belly. He was..nervous. Well, also excited-he was always excited to see his favorite skeleton- but even he had to admit nervousness was something that was going on right now. The nomad threw a look behind him at his zbornak buddy. Poor Syl, that thing that was around her neck looked like it had choked her pretty badly. However, as he watched her now- arms folded and a grumpy expression on her face- she at least looked somewhat like her normal self.

Sylvia's expression changed when she noticed the fuzzy mop was looking at her. Her cantankerous expression melted away to a more worried one as even she could tell Wander was off.

"You doing okay there, buddy?"

"Oh, yeeeah. Just seems like nobody is in much of a chipper mood, huh? Golly, even the halls seem more sad than usual."

"You're just seeing things- looks like the same ol' 'tryin' too hard to be menacing' walls to me."

"NO TALKING," one of the watchdog barked, as he poked Sylvia with a taser staff. The zbornak yelp turned to a growl as she tried grabbing at him.

"Why I oughtta-YOWZAA!" The bars on the cage shocked her again as she got too close to the sides. "Oh ho ho, when I get outta here- YOU'RE the first one I'm going after, beady eye!"

The threatened watchdog did his best to pretend that her words didn't phased him, and ultimately failed. Even though it looked like those two were under permanent confinement, he'd been part of Lord Hater's army long enough to know they always managed to escape.

The quiet of the hall hung in the air like a soggy blanket, the only sounds being the shuffling footfalls of the watchdogs, and the dull squeaking of Wander's sneakers on the polished floor. Even the wheels on Sylvia's cage made little sound.

The enormous doors at the end of the hall shattered that quiet, banging and creaking as it opened, slowly, as if building tension of its own. Once opened all the way, the officers yanked on the chain- dragging both the nomads inside.

The throne room was HUGE, and even Wander couldn't help but look around- his eyes catching on the dull neon lights as well as the green flame lit torches. It was the end of the room, however, where most of the decor was- all the lights in the room leading your eyes to it. In the center of the back wall was a huge opening where lightning bolt stairs led up to a large ominous skeletal mouth- wide and open, as if at any moment it would come down from the shadows and swallow its potential victim whole.

And sitting in the middle of the mouth, on top of his throne, was Lord Hater- glaring down at all of them.

The fuzzy nomad felt his insides flip and contort, even as he put on a smile and waved up at him.

"Hooowdy Hater, nice t'see ya again!"

Hater, or the hulking shadow that resembled him, said nothing. Green eyes pierced the darkness, glaring emeralds in a sea of shadows, as they stared down at the two, and it was impossible to tell what could be going through his mind.

Finally Hater stood, his height atop the stairs casting a foreboding shadow over the prisoners as he loomed. For the first time since they'd first met, Wander felt a twinge of genuine fear in his presence, and the chains binding him rattled as he took a cautionary, but pointless, step backward.

The overlord placed his hands behind his back, but made no effort yet to join them on the ground. Soon after that, his booming voice echoed throughout the room.

"For the first time, and the LAST time, I'm going to agree with you."

He began descending the stairs, at a leisurely pace, the flickering green torches casting dancing shadows across his face, making it difficult to read an emotion. Wander watched and listened in silence, eyes wide, straining against the murk.

"It turns out I was wrong to have tossed you away so quickly." He reached the bottom of the stairs, but still found it easy to loom over the fuzzy alien- paying little mind at all to the one in the cage.

"As much as I DESPISE having to admit it... I still need you, Wander." He spat his name out venomously.

The nomad found himself, despite anyone's better judgement, smiling hopefully up at him.

"Because friends are always an important need?"

The overlord's glare intensified.

" **No.** "

" _Oh._ "

"No, Wander, if it was up to me I would want nothing to do with you. Just as it SHOULD have been from day one. Heck, if it was up to ME you'd be DEAD already! But, unfortunately, there is a clause in the ancient text that says I still need your worthless body alive and kicking...for now."

Hater snapped his fingers dramatically, the noise bouncing around the room in an echo. From the shadows Commander Peepers emerged as well, bringing his person towards the skeleton-and with it the weapon of ultimate destruction. He held it out to Hater with a slight bow of his head, as the overlord smiled down wickedly and grabbed it.

"You see, when we got back I had Peepers do a little research on the Morning Star. I was apparently wrong to ASSUME you broke it. In fact, if anything, just your stupid touch alone was FIXING it. You have within you a power that not many posses. Not I, nor Commander Peepers, not even your zbornak body guard. Wander, when it comes to this case, you have within you an ultimate amount of potential energy- your...LOVE."

Wander found himself blushing a little as he looked away and kicked at the ground.

"Gosh Hater…"

"Stop that!" Hater snapped. Wander stopped kicking at the floor, and looked back up at the overlord.

"Sooo... does that mean you need my love?" He still held that tone that drove Hater insane. That tone that he had grown to hate, because to this day it still eluded him as to what it meant, and why it should bother him so much.

Hater suddenly felt as if he was digressing from where he wanted to be. Where was that delicious fear he'd seen moments before? Where had that gone, and what was this?

"No!" Hater bellowed. He thought he saw Wander flinch, but that could have been the shadows and wishful thinking playing tricks on him.

"I need your soul!" His dramatic thunder and lightning was back. Good. This wasn't a dream.

Wander looked up at him, that smirk finally replaced by... something Hater preferred, anyway.

"My soul? Well gee Hater, I'm flattered an' everything, but I'm still kinda usin' it an' all, so you know, I-"

"I DON'T CARE! Haven't you caught on by now, you little THORN in my SIDE?! When there's something I want, I TAKE IT BY FORCE!"

The zbornak in the cage not too far away roared incoherently, it sounded like some sort of angry war cry.

"I swear to GLORN if you touch one hair on his head I will SHOVE that wand STRAIGHT up your- AAH! GLORGIN' FRANGLEROP I TOUCHED THE BARS AGAIN!"

Hater and his army of watchdogs laughed, Commander Peepers being the first to control himself as he began taunting her.

"Now now, Salvia, that's no way to talk to your future overlord. We've won, you lost, it's better to just accept these things." The officer threw a look over his shoulder and back as his boss. "Isn't that right, sir?"

"Yes, it's too late for all of you! You, my rivals, everyone! No longer will I be a second contender to other leaders. No LONGER will I have to deal with the likes of Emperor Awesome shoving his smug little face into every aspect of my ruling! With the morning star, and with your soul powering it, I will finally- once and for all- BE THE GREATEST IN THE UNIVERSE!"

Hater threw back his head again as he cackled- his laughter echoing around him. The watchdogs followed his lead once more, filling the throne room with the sounds of menacing victory. The skeleton found his laughter cutting off, however, when he was interrupted by the voice of his enemy.

"Well, gee Hater...I dunno, I always thought you were great since the moment I met'cha. You don't need a neat wand, or power, or everyone cowering and being all miserable just for you t'feel better about yourself. That ain't what life is about- it's not about putting others down. It's about raisin' them up! About surroundin' yourself with folks that care about ya. I care about you, Sylvia cares about you, Mister Peepers cares about you; heck, I bet every single person in this room cares about ya!"

Wander paused as he smiled softly at the overlord, taking his hat off his head as he wrung it nervously in his hands.

"You're already the greatest to us…Isn't that enough?"

Hater gaped at the fuzzy little creature in front of him. Had he really just spouted a speech about love, after Hater had just issued his death? And what was this about everyone in the room caring about him? He whipped around to glare dangerously at the crowd of watchdogs. Every one of them looked away awkwardly, a few of them cleared their throats loudly. He turned back to Wander, who was still looking up at him with that infuriatingly pitiful expression.

"I don't need them to care about me!" Hater argued. "I pay them to obey my every command, NOT to like me! And you! Don't make me laugh! Of course YOU care about me! You can't NOT care! And THAT is why you are about to become one with the Morning Star. Your disgusting kindness will be your ultimate downfall!"

"So that's it, then?"

Wander's tone completely shattered whatever high Hater had managed to build up from his speech. It wasn't cheerful, it wasn't fearful, it wasn't determined, and it definitely wasn't the mystery tone. He almost sounded agitated. Hater looked down at the nomad, the expression on the skeleton's face dumb with surprise. He didn't even know that was an emotion Wander was capable of expressing.

Wander wasn't looking at him. He couldn't see his face, his head was lowered, looking at the floor.

"You're gonna just do away with me b'cause I care too much?" Wander straightened after that, almost proudly, but he looked straight ahead.

"Well, maybe I do. I care a whole lot, an' there's nothin' wrong with that. An' I probably care a whole lot more about you than I should, Hater..." Now he looked up at Hater, and whatever agitation that might have been there, there was no sign of it now. There was only trust and assurance reflecting in those big eyes.

"But b'fore I leave, I just want you t'know somethin'." Hater was frozen, paralyzed by those eyes, and in the back of his mind he was reminded of a hungry beast from his nightmares, and he shivered.

"I never once regretted it. An' I don't now."

Lord Hater found himself staring at the nomad, as he tried to collect himself again. He glared, as he raised the Morning Star above his head.

"And that's why you'll be DEAD, loser. Goodbye, WAAANDEEEER!"

The nomad flinched, waiting for it to be over. Mentally he sent as much love out of him as he could- his heart whispering his goodbyes to his best buddy and every single person he had bumped into during his travels. Sylvia, Hater, Mister Peepers, Westley and the other watchdogs; Cashmere and his Baahalian warriors, the cute little trouble making troll; the nice folks of Doomstone-whoops, pardon "Congenial Rock"; that sweet old rock lady and her babies; the-

It was then that Wander was beginning to notice that he had been listing people for quite a while; and yet, he was still fully alive and ticking. The fuzzy mop peeked an eye open, uncurling himself some as he looked up at the skeleton that was still looming over him.

A very nervous skeleton.

Before Wander could say anything, it was Peeper's voice that broke through the silence.

"...Sir?"

D'oh, what was wrong with him! This was it, Hater knew it, this was the moment he had been planning for. And yet...and yet here his was, as stiff as rigor mortis! His mind screamed: 'yes, do it NOW!'

And yet the skeleton still found himself unable to move.

"Sir!" Peepers cried out, this time getting Hater's attention.

"WHAT?!"

"Don't you think you've built up enough dramatic tension here? This is it- the moment we've, Iiiiiiiieeehehe-I mean the moment YOU have been waiting for! Finally universal conquest is in your hands! It's what you've always wanted!"

"Yeah...right. YES! It's what I always wanted!"

Hater, who had his arms lowered when his third in command stole his attention, raised his arms once more to strike down on the nomad. Alright, body, no more playing around. This was it. FOR REAL!

NO MORE PLAYING AROUND!

This time when the sceptre came down, it hit home. Luckily there hadn't been much force behind it; he did still need to be alive for this. Seconds after the star came into contact with Wander's head, the star flickered once, twice, like a failing flashlight, before letting loose a glow so bright it had most of the watchdogs in the front row screaming, clutching their heads, and writhing on the floor.

At first Wander only felt tired. Like his energy was slowly being sapped away- and then the pain started. Just an ache at first, but it quickly grew in intensity, hotter, sharper. From somewhere far away, he could hear Sylvia screaming his name.

Hater took a step back, that light had become so bright it had caught even him off guard, and the Morning Star lost contact with Wander, but it didn't seem to matter now. The furry nomad's head snapped back, eyes open wide, pupils nearly nonexistent, his mouth gaped open to let loose first a scream of absolute agony- that brought Hater anything but the pleasure he'd always assumed it would- and then a blinding white light erupted from where the screams had once been.

The light, Wander's pure life force, rose up, pooled at the dark ceiling, and shot straight down, toward Hater, who let out his own scream, a scream of terror. His hands flew up by reflex, and the Morning Star was almost knocked out of his hand as the beam collided with the weapon, as if drawn to it. The sceptre absorbed it, every bit of it, and if Hater still had flesh, the heat of the thing would have likely melted it right off of his hand.

The last of the energy dispersed. Wander's lifeless body collapsed limply to the floor.

It was over.

_Hater had won._


	11. The Voice

** **

* * *

_Hater had won._

The skeletal overlord stared in shock at the Morning Star in his gloved hands-burning hot as rubber fumes filled the air. It wasn't just heat Hater was feeling...the weapon practically vibrated in his grip. This...this was power. This was truly a force to be reckoned with- and just wielding it, no matter how stupid it looked, was already making the overlord feel a million times more powerful.

Yes, this was what he was wanting! He could feel his own magic pulsing through him, stronger than anything he had ever felt before. He looked down at his empty hand, as he saw the green voltage dance across his palm and fingers. Hater clutched his hand into a fist as he pumped his arm into the air victoriously.

"Yes. Yes! YEEEES!"

The universe was finally his. Everything was his- and those that tried to tell him otherwise would soon see that he was not one to be trifled with. He would use this new power to crush his enemies! No more Emperor Awesome and his pathetic little empire- it was his now! No more people of Zallax 12- they would be destroyed if they didn't hand their dictatorship over to him! No more cutesy gushy planets, no more warrior planets, no more party planets- anything and everything was now under Lord Hater's rule!

AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO WANDER!

The skeleton found himself break out of his evil glee, as he suddenly remembered the crumbled nomad on the floor. Hater looked over and down, and found his chest constrict as he suddenly remembered the scream of agony that had erupted from the furry alien.

There were sounds all around him; Commander Peepers cheering, the sea of watchdogs murmuring, somewhere a zbornak was blubbering. But it was all background noise, nothing seemed to exist on the same plane of existence as the overlord and the fuzzy corpse on the floor.

It felt more like gliding than walking as he made his way over to Wander's side. A foot peeked out from under his robe to nudge the nomad over on his back. The small body tumbled and flopped over, lifelessly. His eyes were mercifully closed, but his mouth was still open, a black void from which his soul had been ripped forth from him, leaving his body a lifeless husk.

Where was his satisfaction? Where was his triumph? If he'd just accomplished his life's one ambition, why did he feel so empty? If he had won, why did he suddenly feel like the universe's biggest loser? He scowled down at Wander. Even in death he continued to mock him, to steal from him even his final victory.

His new found power suddenly didn't feel like strength at all. Now it felt like a filthy disease coursing through his body. It made him shudder in revulsion. Was this what true power felt like? Was this what victory tasted like?

The sharp hissing of electricity and the faint smell of singed flesh snapped him out of his secluded world. The zbornak was screaming, cussing, she'd grabbed onto the bars of her confinement, the whole cage rocking and creaking with every frenzied yank, push, and pull. Tears streamed down her face, her expression reflecting unadulterated rage, seemingly unaffected now by the electricity running through her body.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM AGAIN! GET AWAY FROM HIM! I WILL RIP YOU APART, GET AWAY FROM HIIIM!"

"Oh, shut up-I'm trying to think here!"

But Sylvia didn't shut up, she did the opposite- she yelled and hollered some more.

"Shut up?! You. Want. Me….TO SHUT UP?! You MURDERED him, you son of a marsh match! You murdered my best friend, the only living thing I care about- AND YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP?! Just so YOU, you horned toad apphootcher, CAN THINK?!"

"YES, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!"

The zbornak sobbed, hating herself for showing her tears in front of him-in front of all of them. She was angry, so so angry, but mostly she was heart broken. So devastatingly broken and suddenly feeling like the last light in the universe had just burned and shriveled up. She stopped talking, just as Lord Hater had demanded of her, as she stared at Wander's lifeless form.

"He trusted you, " she finally croaked, not tearing her eyes from her friend, "I don't know what he saw in you- but he florping trusted you. You tried breaking his spirit, maybe even his sappy little gooey heart- but he still believed in you. Even when I, his best pal, told him to stop. To just...to just give up. He came rushing here to stop you so you wouldn't hurt yourself-"

"I thought I told you to be quiet!" Hater said, not even looking at her as her barely turned away from the nomad on the floor. Sylvia tore her eyes away from Wander and glared at him again.

"I will NOT be quiet! He TRUSTED YOU! He CARED for you! I told him you were nothing but a jackanape no good flixflaxing MONSTER! YOU'RE A MONSTER AND WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO-"

"You are. Going to do.  **Nothing.** "

Hater's eyes were light like bright green flames, as he had looked the zbornak dead on. He had stopped yelling, he had reached a point of anger beyond it- and finally Sylvia felt the fear as she quieted down in her cage.

There was the monster looking back at her.

Stupid zbornak, trying to make HIM feel guilt?! She thought she could MANIPULATE him? If she thought that would work, she was just as bad and naive as the fuzzy mop was! The overlord was EVIL- WHY COULDN'T THEY GET THAT THROUGH THEIR THICK SKULLS?!

He.

Did not.

CARE!

"But isn't that the problem?"

"Huh?" Hater's glower faltered, as he frantically scanned the room- no Captain Tim in sight. So then who-

"You wouldn't need time to think at all if you cared as little as you keep telling yourself."

The voice came from nowhere and everywhere. Was it inside his own head? Was he still dreaming?

"Can't you feel him? You've absorbed his essence, everything he was, everything he's ever known, everything he cared about."

"No!" That thought alone was enough to push his unease dangerously close to panic.

"You feel it, don't you? You feel how much he cared. And it frightens you, doesn't it?"

"No! I am the most powerful being in all the universe! I DO NOT FEAR ANYTHING!"

Commander Peepers, the watchdogs, and Sylvia all watched as Hater argued with no one.

"It frightens you because-"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THERE!"

" You do care. More than you've ever allowed yourself to care in your entire life. And you killed him."

" Shut! UP!" He was clutching at his own skull by this point. The taunting voice from his dreams. It had never been Captain Tim. The phantom voice was...

"He's gone forever. You killed him. He cared about you. And you killed him. You killed him. You killed him..." It had been his own voice all along, now fading off, chanting those three words over and over as it went.

"No…"

"Sir?"

Hater flinched as yet another voice shattered his resolve, fear-true fear- in his eyes as he searched for the voice. Fear died some, as he saw a familiar red eye staring at him with concern.

"Lord Hater, you….you doing okay, buddy?"

The overlord stared at him almost in awe. What was wrong? Couldn't the watchdog hear it? The echo of his own voice screaming at him. Maddenly driving the same words over and over into him like a rusty dagger-scraping along the place where any other species' heart would be thundering in their chest. Couldn't Peepers see what he did? Why was he acting like everything was normal when everything just suddenly changed? DIDN'T HE CARE?!

Care…

Hater cared.

"Oh no."

"Sir?"

Hater cared. Hater cared that Wander wouldn't be around anymore. Hater cared that he should be seeing that stupid grin of his plastered all over his stupid little face, instead of the visage of horror that was there now. Hater cared that he wouldn't hear that annoying voice anymore, or see those little fuzzy hands play his glorn awful music ever again. Hater cared that he would never get to tell him to buzz off, leave him alone, and all sorts of other horrible thoughts ever again. Hater cared that once they disposed of his body that he would never run into him again so he can tell him how much he hated him to his face.

Hater cared.

And he killed him.

"What have I done?"

The commander blinked at his Lord.

"What have you done?" He repeated, puzzled. "You want a recap? You've destroyed your most hated enemy, once and for all! Acquired the most powerful weapon in all the galaxy! Secured your standing as future ruler of the entire universe! You did it, Lord Hater! Just like I always knew you could! Just like you've always wanted!"

But Hater, if he'd heard Peepers at all, showed no sign of it. He just stared, not at his third in command... but through him.

"Uh, sir? Hello?" He waved his hand in front of Hater's face. "Lord Hater, you in there, pal?"

"Just like I've always wanted..." Hater finally repeated, in nearly a whisper.

"Yes! Exactly! Now you're getting it!" Cheered Peepers, honestly just happy to have gotten any response from the guy at all. What was wrong with him? Did the sceptre have side effects? Had the power fried his brain?

Hater stood up straight, slowly, the same dazed, slack expression on his face, his eyes still far away. He brought the Morning Star up in one fist, extended as far away from himself as his arm would allow, and finally his eyes focused on that.

"I've always wanted this..." He spun around so suddenly, Peepers flinched. Hater pointed to the corpse on the floor, with a clawed finger. "But not at the cost of THAT!"

The overlord brought the weapon up again, and glared into its blinding light, which seemed to be mocking him.

"You..." He growled at it. He could hear it now. Dancing just on the outskirts of his brain. It was laughing at him.

"What? But sir, must I remind you that getting rid of Wander was also on your agenda-" But it was easy to tell he was being ignored... no. Hater didn't hear him at all, did he?

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Hater roared at the sceptre, his free hand sparking to life, his eyes smouldering with green flame.

Peepers' eye widened, as he began to realize what his boss was planning on doing. He had seen the look enough to know when the skeleton was planning on destroying something. The watchdog rushed to his boss, as he latched onto his arm-trying to grab at the weapon.

"Nonono, SIR! Lord Hater-your heinousness- DON'T DO IT! You're not thinking clearly, here! YOU DON'T WANT THIS!"

Hater didn't even spare him a look as he effortlessly flung him off his arm- the commander flying and crashing into Sylvia's cage. Peepers screamed in agony as electricity went through his body, before landing in a smoldered little heap on the floor. The officer, momentarily blacking out, opened his eye as he witnessed to his horror-the scene playing out in slow motion to him- as the overlord threw the Morning Star on the ground.

" **NO!** "

But his cry of protest did absolutely nothing.

There was a heavy metallic clanking sound, followed by the sound of glass breaking, and finally a deafening roar that could only have been compared to the sound made by the powerful vacuum of space. The sound of a hole being ripped through the hull of a ship, the last sound you were ever likely to hear.

The room filled with that blinding light, screams of burning retinas could just barely be heard under the booming sound of the broken artifact. Slowly, the light seemed to pull in, swirling in a tighter and tighter circle, until it more resembled a tornado of pure light twisting in the center of the room.

Hater watched in utter confusion and disbelief as the glow extended out, enveloping Wander's lifeless body in a warm glow, lifting him up. The roaring was quieter now, almost comforting. Wander's body jerked sharply, as the light suddenly shot down at him, through his mouth from where it had come.

Then there was nothing. The room was suddenly silent- as if the universe was put on mute. It took a moment for even Lord Hater to adjust his vision, as he blinked away the spots and tried to see into the much darker throne room. He suddenly felt drained, all the power the Morning Star had given him was now completely gone. He felt empty. He felt tired.

But he was also relieved when he noticed the voice in his head was gone.

Hater felt himself jolting back to reality, when sound returned to him- the overlord becoming hyper aware of his surroundings. The skeleton could hear cries of pain from his army. He could hear the zbornak calling out for her friend once more. He could even make out the sound of Commander Peepers yelling at him from across the room. However, what caused Hater to turn around with a sudden jerk was another sound all together. It was the soft murmur of raspy breathing. Green eyes desperately looked at the nomad on the floor, hoping it wasn't just his insanity or wishful thinking getting the better of him.

All it took was the labored shaking of Wander's chest filling with air once more, before Hater found himself on his knees-picking up the bundle of fur as he cried out his name.

"Wander!" He tried again, fighting the urge to forcefully shake the nomad. " WANDER! Come on, you annoying mop, be okay! ANSWER ME!"

Hater's eyes flew open when he heard a hissing sound in his ear... or where his ear would be if he had any.

"Pssst!" Hater lifted his head to look down at the creature in his arms- relieved it was indeed still Wander, and not a horrible fuzzy snake beast.

"You have ta ask me a question b'fore I can answer you." Wander whispered up at him, loudly.

Hater was too happy at that moment to care about Wander's stupid joke. Too relieved to see that grin he thought for sure he'd only ever see again in his nightmares. The overlord hugged the tiny nomad close, and he bawled. Loudly and openly, he bawled, months of confusion and frustration all lead up to this.

Over in her cage, Sylvia just stared, mouth agape. What had just happened? Finally she smiled softly, and slumped.

"Would ya look at that... little guy was right again. Y'know, sorta."

The watchdog army, however, was stunned into silence. Even the third in command watched the scene in speechless stupor, as his boss continued to blubber uncontrollably. Hater, however, continued to forget everyone even existed as he cried into orange fur. It was only once he noticed the sensation of small hands rubbing his back, did he realize Wander had been talking to him.

"W-wuh?"

"I asked," the smaller being repeated, " are you okay? The wand didn't hurt ya any, did it?"

Was he….Was HE okay?! Hater pulled himself away as he looked down at Wander in amazement. The nomad looked worried, though it wasn't worry for his own being...but for the overlord! Here he had DIED, his soul RIPPED out of his body in agony- yet another shudder taking over the skeleton as he recalled the scene- and he was busy asking HIM if HE was okay?! UNBELIEVABLE!

It took another moment before Hater realized Wander was touching his face- wiping away the tears he had shed. Tears...he HAD been crying...His eyes shot open in alarm as he suddenly remembered that they were not alone. They were not alone, and everyone had not only witnessed Hater hugging the nomad...but CRYING as well. He looked around, before landing on Peepers who was still startled by what he was seeing.

Hater, in a panic, found himself pushing Wander away from him.

"Get out." Hater growled.

"What was that?" Wander questioned, getting up off the floor from where he had been dropped- or thrown.

"I said GET OUT! OFF of my ship! Before I CHANGE MY MIND!" Hater bellowed, a clawed hand pointing toward the door. Wander stared at Hater for awhile in silence, before he smiled warmly. The nomad fetched his hat, which had been knocked away during the whole soul-stealing thing, and placed it back on his head. The watchdogs by Sylvia's cage took the hint, and released her, taking off immediately after the door was open.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" she yelled after them.

"C'mon, Syl; I think Hater needs some more of that alone time." Wander smirked to his friend, and she scooped him up in a big hug.

"Don't have to tell me twice; let's get out of here. Good to have ya back though, buddy."

"Good to be back!" Wander replied, cheerfully.

Both Hater and Peepers watched as the two nomads left through the door. Peepers bent down to pick up the remains of the Morning Star, and shook his head, sadly.

"Such a waste..." Sadness turned to anger as he began screaming at his boss. "What was THAT?! You HAD them! You had the weapon, you had your enemies, you had the POWER! And you...YOU LET THEM GO! What happened to the plan?! What about all the trouble we went through to GET the glorbin' thing! And you...YOU BROKE IT!"

Hater, however, completely ignored his commander's tantrum as he watched the two friends leave. They walked away in silence, quickly making their way down the hall. Right as they were about to turn the corner, and leaving the skeleton's line of sight for good, Wander threw a look over his shoulder- very much reminding the overlord of what happened the last time he witnessed them depart. However, instead of the somber and heartbroken expression he wore on his face then… He smiled. Not his creepy wide smile. Not his smug, "I know something you don't" smile. It was small...But it was the most genuine looking beam Wander had ever given him.

Hater sat on the floor- tired and aching after everything that happened- as he was confused by the strange fluttery feeling the smile left him with.


	12. The Transformation

** **

* * *

It had been a long few months since the whole Morning Star incident, and things had begun to fall back into normal routine. Peepers had been upset for a while, sure-who wouldn't have been after all the trouble they had gone through?; but, once his overlord started talk about getting back to conquering the galaxy again, the commander was quick to cheer up as he returned back to work. It wasn't the first time a plan had failed, after all, and as long as Hater was willing to get back on the horse-metaphorically speaking, of course- then so was he!

Dutera was the first to fall. It wasn't long before the other planets in the Eureka system had succumbed as well- Hater having personally led the army into battle, as he felt the need to destroy and take out his frustrations. Planet after planet, and solar system after solar system found themselves being crushed by the skeletal overlord's power. Hater was finally at the top of his game-something he hadn't had been for the longest of times. In all honesty, he was starting to feel like his old evil self again and he was LOVING it!

However, all of his stride was lost when he ran into two familiar nomads while he was busy conquering the swamp people of Telmatiff. The same old feeling of dread had come over him when he heard that cheerful voice call out his name, but there was an underlying- or overlying- feeling, too, that was unfamiliar to him. It was an anxious feeling, maybe fearful excitement.

Whatever it was, it was strange, and Hater didn't like it.

He had been able to keep his yelling up, he had been fine with zapping at his enemy, but again, it was different. Where their meetings before were fuelled by rage, this one was fuelled more by frustration. Frustration from the small nomad's mere presence making that unknown feeling rise every second he had to be around him. Hater tried not noticing the little things, like how acrobatically Wander dodged his fire, or the glint in his eyes whenever he looked back to see if Hater was still chasing him. His laugh, no longer just a sound of mockery.

But the worst part was, at the end of the day, after he'd failed to take over the swampy planet due to distraction... he wasn't able to feel angry about it. His anger did come, but it was anger over not being angry in the first place. Hater had to settle. After all...he was sure it was a fluke- he was still getting over the drama that had happened between him and the fuzzball, that must have been it. Everything would be fine by the next time they met, and he could go back to ruling the galaxy with an iron fist.

Except...it wasn't. Time and time again Hater would go back to feeling like his normal self, only to bump into Wander and Sylvia- causing him to go back to square one. He had been fine on Ukroteet before he was jolted out of his evil overlord resolve by the presence of two furry arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. He been fine on the cold, damp world of Oozlyon before Wander had popped out of an underground tunnel and enthusiastically invited him inside to join some feast or another with the mole people that lived there. Heck, Hater had even been fine when Peepers pulled the ship over to a pit stop for their three hundred million mile oil change...That is, until he found out the two nomads were there helping the old mechanic fleezordian man out with his business, and Wander had been playing dressup-dolled up in a red wig, eyelashes, and purple dress- as he INSISTED Hater let him wash the skull ship's windows.

Hater had almost left Peepers behind as he ran back inside the ship, taking control as he stomped down hard on the gas pedal- taking himself as far away from the crossdressing mop as he could.

Anxious waiting began to affect the overlord, even on planets where it was unlikely he'd run into the annoyance. It was hard to concentrate on conquering a planet, when you were busy waiting for an accident to happen. But Hater tried his best to ignore and deny this sudden change. He kept on denying it, even when he began taking a back seat, guiding and watching his army as they went out and took over planets for him.

Standing high on a cliff of Skrenzar- overlooking his watchdog army, as they went to work clearing the area for conquest- Hater was able to keep his stance proud; his expression set and solid.

"Finding it hard to concentrate, dearie?"

And there went that. The overlord yelped, jumped, and spun around- he'd found him! Oh. No. A hunched old woman stood in the clearing, not far behind him, her face wrinkled, but eyes till sharp and wise.

"Don't DO that! I thought you were- never mind!" Hater screamed at her.

"Hmmm? Thought I was who? A young traveller, perhaps?"

The skeleton's eyes became wide in alarm.

"What?! How did you know about-" Hater cut himself off as he realized the old woman didn't know what she was talking about, and that he was going to spill out his own business to an old hag. The overlord glared as he crossed his arms.

"Nevermind, you're just senile. Go back to your nursing home or else you might get caught in the crossfire, lady."

The smile never left the woman's face, even as she looked away as she wrapped her shawl tighter around herself. She chuckled.

"Still see you haven't learned any manners. And here I was hoping your time with Wander would have taught you a lesson or two."

Again, Hater found himself startled despite how hard he tried to hide it. So she DID know what she was talking about! But...but HOW?! There was no way it could have been in some news feed- while there was talk about who was who in the universe, dictators and other known celebrities always making the news- the Morning Star incident had been something they kept under wraps. There was no way Hater said anything to anybody about it, and Peepers had been just as embarrassed by the whole ordeal. And even if the annoying mop WAS one to spill secrets, he was a nobody as far as anyone was concerned-and nobody would believe him even if he tried! So how in the nine universes did the old hag find out?! You would have to be psychic, or something!

Hater glared as something dawned on him- the woman's face had been tickling some part of his brain for the longest time. However, he was starting to remember something he had long since tried to suppress. Psychic? No, but the woman was definitely "something".

"YOU." The overlord growled at her as he took a threatening step forward. "You're that stupid old fortune teller that used the sun to insult me that one time! What, are you stalking me or something?!"

"Stalking you?" The woman repeated, taken aback. "Oh, heavens, no! But I do have a chat now and again with the universe, and the universe seems very interested in you two!" She paused here to chuckle again, as if sharing a private joke. "The universe can be quite the gossip, you know."

Hater growled. Talking to the universe? This woman was obviously out of her mind. Still, he felt she may know a little too much. He didn't care how she knew, it was only important it went no further.

"How much do you know?" He grumbled.

"Oh, not much. But I do know that you have a few questions that need answering, hmm? Something in your life has changed, and you wish to know why? Am I close?"

Hater said nothing. His glower intensified.

"Good! Then follow me, would you? This reading is free; I owe it to the universe." She paused and whispered the next part, eyes darting from side to side as she spoke. "Never bet against the universe, dearie, take it from me."

Yep, the woman was one hundred percent out of her mind. Hater turned his back towards her as he looked back down at his army preparing for an assault. He didn't need her help, he was FINE. His….his game was just off a little, was all! Not much, just a little! But the skeleton couldn't be blamed for that- it was Wander's fault! He had broke him, made him crazy to the point he had heard voices in his head. Of COURSE it was going to take him a while to get better!

Hater found himself flinching as he heard rustling in the bushes nearest to him- screaming out in hysterics as he jumped to the side. It was Wander! He was there! And he was going to jump out and touch him, and make him feel all hot and frustrated, and make him turn stupid in front of his army again. Oh no, not now- NOT AGAIN! The overlord lit up his hands, prepared to zap the annoyance.

What came out of the bushes, however, was definitely not Wander- as a unisquirrel popped out and chattered excitedly as it found a nut on the ground by Hater's feet. Hater deflated, his horns falling downwards as he realized just how wrong he was. He then found his spine stiffening as he recalled he was in front of an audience, as he looked over his shoulder to the see the fortune teller still smiling at him-this time a knowing beam. The skeleton growled as he whipped himself around and yelled at her.

"ALRIGHT! FINE!" He stomped forward, ready to follow the old hag. "Let's just get this OVER with already!"

* * *

This setup wasn't nearly as fancy as the one she'd had back on that other planet. In fact, now it seemed she just worked out of her covered waggon. One of the space beasts snorted at Hater, as he ducked inside.

It was small. Hater sat hunched up in his little chair, feeling very cramped and very unhappy. At least it wasn't brightly lit. He did appreciate the dark. The old woman joined him, and sat across the table. She sat her crystal ball aside- good. The skeleton had enough of that thing's ridicule, anyway. He watched as she brought out the deck of cards, instead.

Hater glowered.

"Again with the cards?"

"Yes, we never DID finish our reading the last time. I believe the deck ended up all over the floor instead." The teller shuffled her cards as she gave him a challenging look. "Or would you prefer I consult the sun? I'm sure THIS one has a few nicer things to say about you."

"NO." The skeleton crossed his arms in a huff as he looked away. "We'll use the stupid cards."

"Good! I was hoping you'd say that- my Skrenzarian star dialect isn't as polished, you know." She laughed softly as she spread out her tarot deck on the table. "Now be a dear and pick out six cards, would you?"

Hater did as he was told, quickly grabbing cards at random. It didn't much matter to him, anyway- the old hag may have been able to put together some information about him and Wander, but he still couldn't help but think she was a hack. How the heck were some poorly illustrated cards supposed to know everything? Because they couldn't! So they wouldn't! Really, Hater was just killing some time as Peepers took over the dumb planet for him.

The overlord finished slapping down his last choice on the table, and the fortune teller swiftly- with an effortless swish of her wrist- swept up the other cards. Placing them to the side, and out of the way, she then went to Hater's selections as she put them in order of what the skeleton had drawn. Three in the first row, and three in the second. Finishing setting up with a hum, she flipped up the first card.

Hater rolled his eyes.

"UGH! THAT card again? That's what I had the last time!"

The fortune teller waved him off, as she pointed at the tarot with a gold and black scale on it.

"That's because the Justice card represents you, honey. We went over this before. Or were you not paying attention?"

"I was paying attention!" Not a total lie, he did recall the images on the cards. What he uttered after, however, was one hundred percent false. "I remember exactly what it means!"

"Oh?"

"YES!" Hater paused, before coughing- his brain using the time to think up a good enough excuse so they could move on. "I've just...you know…."

His brain had failed him.

"ALRIGHT! FINE! I forgot, HAPPY? I've just been too busy to remember all this fortune telling garbage! I have a life! Just tell me what it means!"

"Happily. As you just demonstrated- the Justice card tells us that you are a no nonsense sort of young man. You don't have time to deal with wishy-washy sorts, as you have things you need to get done. Big plans- your own order! You have a clear vision-but with it brings insensitivity to others around you as well as your own arrogance."

Hater glared.

"I am NOT arrogant!"

"If you say so, dear. Though, it's important to note the card is usually an externalization of an internal conflict. Excuse the pun...but it seems that something is weighing on your mind. Something about handsome hairy travellers, hmm?"

"Yes!" Hater exclaimed, maybe too enthusiastically. As loony as this old woman obviously was, Hater couldn't help but get caught up in her nonsense; he did want answers, after all. This truly was what grasping at straws felt like, he was sure of it.

"Wait! I mean, no! He's not handsome, why would you say that? He's infuriating! Have you seen that smile? It's horrifying! I've seen it in my nightmares!"

He looked across the table at her, expression wrought with genuine unease. He hadn't been sleeping well.

The fortune teller flipped over the next card-yet another familiar one to the overlord. He recalled the name of it, though the Three of Swords was an easy enough name to remember and figure out. Hater was fortunate that the woman decide to not tease him as she went straight into explanation- a frown on her face.

"So I can see. You had some issues before, but something tells me they've gotten worse. The Three of Swords is an emotional card, one about pain, grief, sorrow- and in this position it's the heart of the matter. The root of things."

The old woman looked Hater in the eyes, her own shining with all the universe's answers and secrets. She tried smiling comfortingly at the skeleton-encouraging him.

"Dreams hold many of the cosmos' mysteries. They are there to guide you through your troubles-no matter how uneasy that can appear. Now, child, what is the universe telling you?"

From across the table, the skeleton glared at her.

"What did my dreams tell me?" He grumbled. "They told me that I'd rather burn to death in a forest, than spend time with that life-ruining little pest! That's just stupid! I already knew that! And then he BIT me! Who DOES that!"

The woman raised a brow.

"Bit you?"

"Well, yeah…"

The skeleton found his voice dying as he realized the teller was looking at him strange. He found himself getting warm in the face as he figured out why she would have found it weird. Hater glared.

"NOT NORMAL WANDER! He was bigger! And...technically a giant eight eyed snake…"

"Oh, well that certainly changes things a little!" Though she kept to herself the fact not by much. "Snakes, huh? Fits with the Three of Swords and makes sense. Both have to deal with trying to avoid your problems. Poor thing. Sounds like you're dealing with emotions about your friend that the universe wants you to stop running away from and start paying attention to."

Hater did not like what she said one bit.

"Wander is NOT my friend! I hate the guy!"

The fortune teller held up the third card- the Fool smiling up at the overlord and making him grow silent.

"You can lie to me, " the woman said, tracing the outline on the card with a wrinkled finger as she continued to stare into Hater's glowing green eyes. It took everything in his power not to avert his gaze-afraid that looking away would show weakness. The fortune teller repeated herself.

"Yes, you can lie to me all you want...but you can not lie to the universe. Wander has been turning your world upside down."

"Yeah, well-HE'S BEEN DOING THAT SINCE THE MOMENT I MET HIM AND HIS DUMPY ZBORNAK PAL!"

"Except now you don't hate him."

"What is THAT supposed to mean!" Hater bellowed, standing up abruptly, eyes glowing down at the woman. She did not flinch, nor did she make any indication she felt threatened at all. They stared at each other for a long time. Finally, upon realizing the old woman wasn't about to back down-and the overlord still needing her for answers- Hater sat back down, folded his arms over his chest, and huffed.

"I still hate him. More than ever! He totally ruined my life! Stupid cards, STUPID dreams..." He was mostly mumbling to himself now.

"You may tell yourself anything you like. As long as you have thoughts and the ability to speak, you may listen to whatever you wish to tell yourself. But it will not help."

The fortune teller flipped over the fourth tarot- Death glaring at the both of them.

"Nor, might I add, would it be the truth. Things are changing around you, things are changing within you. It has already begun to happen. Your relationship is ending and becoming anew. It is metamorphosis-and you are scared."

"WHAT! Are YOU trying to tell me that I'm scared of that...that..OF THAT FURBALL! I am Lord Hater; I FEAR NOTHING!"

"That's not what the voice told you."

The skeleton grew silent, hesitation and unease in his eyes as he realized that the woman really was knowing way more than he was comfortable with. How did she know about...He never told...Hater was finding himself creeped out- not only from the fact she knew….but also from the fact she had been RIGHT.

The overlord mumbled in protest, more to try and have the last word on the matter than anything else- to help them move on.

"Yeah, well...the voice has stopped talking."

"That's because you have already begun to accept the transformation."

Still, Hater tried to argue- his stubbornness would not quit.

"No. I'm. NOT!"

The fortune teller flipped over the fifth card, a simple wheel of gold was on it.

"Yes. You. Have. Your heart desires for this change- whether you fully realize it or not. You care for Wander. You can not bring yourself to end his life- nor do you want his life to end at all. You no longer see him as your enemy, but you want him around. But if you can't be enemies...what is there? That's what your heart is asking you. That's what you need to know."

The old woman pointed a wrinkled finger over the last tarot- still hidden and a mystery to the skeleton.

"Your outcome is here, dear. It is right in front of you, waiting for you to grasp it. Are you ready? Are you ready to set yourself free of your pain and find your happiness? Are you prepared to finish your transformation?"

Now she was just teasing him. Stalling for time. Hater wasn't having it! His hand shot out and he swiped the card off the table. He knew it was going to be a gruesome card- a card that no doubt told of his ultimate downfall, his demise at the furry hands of that monster.

He was ready for it.

He wasn't ready for the heart glaring at him from the card, though. Two figures- one cloaked as a smaller being had their arms wrapped around them. The person smiling a smile that had haunted Lord Hater's every waking and dreaming thoughts. His glare was shattered as his eyes shot open wide, he gasped and recoiled from the offending cardboard. He shot up out of his chair again, and he shoved the card in the woman's face.

"WHAT is THIS?! Is THIS what you've been trying to SHOVE down my throat! You've been saying all of my turmoil, all of my SUFFERING, ALL OF MY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, were all caused by BEING IN LOVE!? With HIM?!" He slapped the card down so hard in front of her, that it shook the table.

"YOU have got some SERIOUS problems, lady! A REALLY SICK sense of humor!"

A clawed finger was pointed at her face.

The fortune teller, however, was not phased by the skeletal overlord's outrage. In fact, her face was unreadable as she tore her gaze away from the more powerful young man and spared a glance at the card Hater had mercilessly slammed onto the table instead. The overlord had been expecting a reaction. He had been expecting fear! He had been expecting an apology- the fortune teller begging for him to spare her life and take back all the crap she had said about the cards. For her to tell him she was lying- it was all a hoax!

What Hater did NOT expect, however, was for the old woman to laugh.

"Hoho! So THAT was what had you all worked up! Are you telling me you interpret the card to mean you were in love with the handsome traveller?"

"STOP CALLING HIM THAT!" Hater screamed at her again- finding himself becoming flustered by bringing up Wander, let alone the words 'love' and 'handsome'. He was so stuck on those words, that it took the younger alien a moment to figure out what the woman had said.

"Wait- WHAT? What do you mean by 'interpret'? How else are you suppose to take a card with Wander and me hugging as?! It even has a glorbin' HEART! Do you think I'm stupid? IT MEANS LOVE!"

"Only if you interpret it that way."

Hater was about to explode- he was beginning to get upset to the point he wanted to do more than flip the old woman's table. He wanted to destroy everything in his sight- the table, the cards, the whole caravane- even the fortune teller, herself. BUT HEY, why stop there! Why not destroy ALL of Skrenzar while he was at it! The whole solar system, galaxy- the whole universe if he had to!

Maybe then he would stop feeling like the butt of some sick joke.

The overlord's growling was cut off, however, by the sound of the woman clearing her throat. Hater snapped his head over towards her, as she pointed back down at the card.

"What I mean is...you are the one putting yourself in the position of a lover. While the card IS called 'the Lovers', romantic love is not its only meaning. As I tell anyone who finds this card in their possession during a reading… it merely means a strong bond. It means intimacy. It means you will find yourself close to the other person in some form or another- and it will be passionate and they shall feel the same."

The fortune teller suppressed her smile, as she looked at the skeleton seriously.

"And yet...I find where your mind jumps to be the most intriguing, dearie."

"My mind only went there because you tricked it into going there!" Hater snapped. It was a heart, and hearts only meant one thing. Right?

"Whatever! It doesn't matter WHAT I thought. ANY feelings that involve... intimacy..." He made a disgusted face when he said that word, "of any kind with that guy... it isn't gonna happen! So your heart card is garbage! A lie! This was a waste of time, I am DONE here!"

The fortune teller said nothing as she watched him leave- the bags under her eyes seeming heavier. The youth never did seem to like hearing what they didn't want to hear; this she knew as an universal fact. The old woman brought the cards back to her deck, as she shuffled them once more.

"Well, at least this time my table was spared."

* * *

Lord Hater had stormed out, the step stool set by the entrance of the caravan had tipped over as he went, sending him tumbling to the ground. This startled the space beasts some- this cries of alarm sounding more like mocking laughter. The skeleton growled.

"I HATE EVERYTHING ON THIS PLANET!"

Picking himself off of the ground, Hater stomped back toward his ship. He could feel himself shaking, and it wasn't from anger. He felt exposed, violated, and defenceless. He felt as if that woman had just shown him the face of the same monster he'd been denying even existed, and forced him to stare it down. Hater tried shoving this feeling away, the consequences of its meaning still too terrifying to think about.

Love, pah! It was as ridiculous as it was disgusting. Revolting, even! He'd just let the old woman get to him, was all. He had made the mistake of getting caught up in her lies and trickery. The farther away from her he got, the better he began to feel. Her poisonous mind games were beginning to lose their hold.

"Peepers!" Hater called out, as soon as his ship was in sight. "Peepers, we're leaving! NOW!"

The commander had been busy reading the new list of rules to the defeated ruler- the large green rabbit president of the Skrenzar people tied up with two watchdog soldiers holding him in a standing position. Peepers found himself stopping what he was doing, however, when Hater's demanding voice cut him off.

"Wait-WHAT?!" Peepers screeched, making the rabbit president next to him flinch from the assault of his ears. "But...but sir- We JUST finished conquering the place! We haven't even finish resurrecting your statue in your honor yet!"

"I don't CARE! Let them KEEP their stupid planet. I just want to get outta here!"

The third in command felt his eye begin to twitch without his knowledge. This...This was ridiculous! The last straw! It was one thing to be mopey all over the ship- the overlord could do whatever he wished in private and Peepers would do his best to put up with it. It was even acceptable for the skeleton to throw a fit while Wander and Sylvia were around- the watchdog had found himself victim to their cunning time and time again almost as much as Hater. BUT, what was NOT cool- IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT- was for his boss to just give up on a planet for NO FLORBBIN REASON AT ALL! There was no Wander, there was no competition from other evil rivals- everything was perfect.

So. WHAT. Was. His. PROBLEM?!

Peepers took a deep breath, before exhaling as he rolled up the scroll filled with their usual routine "you have been conquered by the amazingness of Lord Hater" checklist. He chuckled, as he leaned towards the rabbit president and held up a finger.

"Heh- would you just excuse me real quick as I take Lord Hater someplace private for just oooone minute? Then we'll get back to this whole 'you surrendering' schtick, okay? Haha-okay!"

The watchdog continued to smile as he made his way towards the overlord, who was peeking out from behind their ship. The moment nobody could see him or the skeleton anymore, Peeper's happy grin fell as it was instantly replaced by an intense glare- the red veins in his eye instantly pulsing from anger. He growled as he whispered harshly.

"Alright, Hater, WHAT IS YOUR BIG DEAL?!"

"I don't want to talk about it, Peepers!" Hater growled back, turning his back to his commander and crossing his arms.

Peepers counted to ten. He was all right- anger wasn't going to get either of them anywhere. The watchdog tried talking again, this time much calmer.

"Sir, with all due respect... you've been acting like a complete basket case ever since that incident with the Morning Star. I've done research, there should be NO ill side effects from that! So please, don't I deserve to know what your problem is? I can't help you get over it if you won't talk to me!"

Hater spun around, and Peepers recoiled from his glare.

"I don't need your-" Hater stopped. The last time he'd told Peepers he didn't need his help, he had spent the next day trying and failing to do his own laundry, almost burning the food court down, and not being able to locate his own underwear.

"I mean... you can't help me get over this. I'm trapped! There's no way out, Peepers! I've tried, I've gone over it in my head, over and OVER again; I can't SLEEP because it won't LEAVE me ALONE! He won't go AWAY unless he's DEAD, but I don't WANT him dead, but I WANT him to go AWAY, but he won't go away unless he's dead, but, but, but..."

"Hold on... 'him'? You mean Wander? This is still about HIM?"

"And then!" Hater continued, not even paying attention at all to what the commander had said. " The old woman! The fortune teller! The one who said the sun called me names? She was here, Peepers. She said horrible things. She tried to tell me I luuuh."

He couldn't even say the word.

"Peepers. I just wanna go home. I wanna sit in my room, and play video games, and turn up my music as loud as it'll go, and maybe later erase this entire day from history! Is that too much to ask!"

The watchdog remained silent as he continued to look the skeleton up and down. It took everything in Hater's power not to flinch away from his gaze, as he instead held his stiff leader position. Part of him was screaming about how HE was the one in charge- the big boss around. He should be threatening Peepers, he should be telling him if the commander didn't command the watchdogs to pack up right this second….then he would happily destroy him- get some other sucker to replace and do his job!

But Hater couldn't even agree with THAT voice anymore. His stressed brain couldn't help but wonder just how much the overlord cared. If he couldn't destroy Wander, his enemy, how was he going to destroy the head of his army? How could he get rid of and replace the guy he hung out around and spent the most contact with? How could he replace his best fri-

Hater felt like screaming- ALL THIS CARING WAS GETTING RIDICULOUS!

The skeleton was brought out of his inner turmoil by the sound of a sigh. Hater found his green eyes shoot downwards as he witness Peepers turn around and begin to walk away. The overlord was confused by the panicky feeling that overtook him as he grabbed onto the watchdog- only enough that he stopped him in his tracks. Hater put on his best glare as they made eye contact.

"Where do you think you are going?!"

"Back to the troops to tell the boys to pack up. Look, sir, I don't know what's going on with you...But you're right about going back home. Things have obviously been stressful for you, and maybe I wasn't doing a very good job as your sec- I mean, as third in command, if I have been pushing you before you were ready to start conquering again. I mean, you still want to rule the universe, right?"

Hater didn't even need time to consider the question.

"Of course I do!"

"Good, great! Then the problem is...this whatever it is you're having about Wander. I don't know what it is, and I don't even know how to help… But, the least I can do is be a good soldier and do what's right for my boss. You need a break? No problem! We'll do that. Heck, I'm sure it will be good for the morale among the men to have a vacation anyway."

Hater found himself silent this time as he and the watchdog just looked at each other. Finally it was Hater who broke the silence as he cleared his throat- needing to break the tension and make it less awkward.

"EXACTLY! Yeah...that! A great battle strategy- I'm glad I thought of it!" Peepers rolled his eye as the overlord went on. "So what are you standing around for? Go do your job as second in command and go get the army together so we can get outta here! I'm going back inside- HATER OUT!"

Peeper sighed, at least feeling a little better that Hater was at least starting to sound like his normal self now- even if it was just an act. He watched the skeleton go back inside the ship, before turning around to go back to the other soldiers to tell them what was up. He put on his game face- his stern mean glare- and he started marching.

Peepers found himself suddenly stop dead in his tracks as something dawned on him.

"Wait a moment…did he just call me 'second in command'?"


	13. The Gift

* * *

"Ah-HA! Take THAT, Peepers!"

It had been a couple weeks since Lord Hater and his watchdog army had left Skrenzar- resolving that they all needed a break from the whole conquering business for a while. While the overlord had mostly stayed in his room- leaving every so often for a change of scenery when he decided to play his games out on the observation deck or eat his meal in the food court with the others- his second in command still kept himself busy around the ship. Just because Hater desperately needed a vacation didn't mean Peepers was going to allow the troops to go all soft and flabby! The eyeball, however, found himself allowing the army to have a lot more recreation time; he even allowed them to replace the broken pool table in the break room so they would have something to do.

The watchdogs were happy, and even Commander Peepers found himself in a cheerful mood despite their idleness. Why wouldn't he? Though it would have been nice to actually work- the soldier was raring to try out some of the new battle strategies he came up with, as well as marking potential planets to try them out on- Peepers was still living off his happy high from being re-promoted back to number two in command. (Something he made SURE to rub into stupid Captain Tim's FACE!) Not only that, while he didn't understand Lord Hater's change in mood…he DID appreciate the fact it had the skeleton treating him a lot better than he usually did. Though the overlord had mostly been keeping to himself, Peepers did make sure to check in on him- it was his job, after all!

The first day his boss had invited him to stay and hang out with him, however, did come as a complete surprise.

Back in the present, Peepers rolled his eye as Hater continued to gloat. The skeleton had, yet again, invited him to spend time with him- the two of them playing one of Lord Hater's multi-player games on the observation deck. The room had the biggest screen, after all. Though, if the commander was completely honest, the invitation had been less of an invite and more of a demand as his boss had shoved a controller into his hands, told him to sit down and to start pushing buttons.

But, who was he to argue about the technicalities?

"Yes, nice one sir. It's not like you haven't used that same move on me over and over again. I'm still completely wowed."

Hater threw him a glare as he pushed the A-button- telling the console he was ready for a rematch.

"SASS, Peepers? I'd be angry if it weren't for the fact it's HILARIOUS you're STILL dumb enough to fall for the same combo move EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW! Sore loooseeeer, that's what you are! Hahaha!"

"D'oh! That's only because I don't know how to play this stupid game!"

"Not MY problem. Better learn fast, or you're gonna eat my fists again!"

Peepers sighed and went back to halfheartedly focusing on the pixels on the screen. He never quite understood the logic behind these sorts of games; they seemed like a huge waste of time. But it really seemed to put his boss in a good mood, so the commander didn't mind so much.

"IN YOUR FACE!"

"Ah ha ha... look at that, you got me again." Peepers was quickly running low on fake enthusiasm that night. He decided now was as good a time as ever to bring this up.

"So sir... there's a special day coming up really soon. Do you know what might be special about it?" His second in command coaxed. Hater just grunted, paying much more attention to his video game than his commander.

"Don't you wanna guess?" Peepers prodded, hopefully. "It involves your favorite person in the whole galaxy..."

Hater mumbled something.

"That's right! It's your birthday. So the guys and I were talking, and after last year's fiasco... no party, right?"

Hater found himself stopping is playing, as he began to zone out- the game still going on without him. Last year...yeah, no, that was not exactly a happy memory for the skeleton. In fact, it was one of the worst birthdays he ever had. Hater glared as he recalled how he was humiliated in front of his whole army, as well as being crushed, fried, and horribly mangled by every single weapon in his Doom Arena. The overlord also found himself gasping some, as he recalled the lazer canon Wander had blasted him with- clearing his throat to try and make the nomad's cry of pleasure in wanting to 'kiss the birthday boy' disappear completely.

And he wasn't in the mood to think about his stupid butt shaking either.

"Yes!" Hater suddenly cried, startling his second in command next to him. The skeleton put a neutral expression on his face as he made the appearance of being bored with the conversation, beginning to punch Peepers' avatar in the face again.

"I mean, yeah, no. I don't like parties. They're stupid."

"That's what I figured. Sooo….anything in particular you DO want then?"

"Uhhhhhg!" Hater groaned, obviously annoyed. "Can't we just have cake and be done with it!"

Commander Peepers smiled, and gave his boss a double thumbs up.

"You got it, sir!"

The overlord went back to bashing Peepers' characters' face in, but was mildly distracted now.

"And uh..." Hater mumbled. "Y'know, there could be some balloons, too, if you want, whatever."

"Cake and balloons, then, I can certainly do that!"

"And Sarlacc Swirl! Cake just tastes like styrofoam without ice cream."

The watchdog rolled his eye, but smiled anyway. Good, that was a plan then. Cake, ice cream, and balloons were all things he could easily get together- and he was genuinely happy to do so. Lord Hater deserved to have an enjoyable birthday, after all.

' _Besides_ ,' Peepers thought to himself as he continued to take the abuse from the skeleton's video game character, ' _maybe it's just the thing he needs to get his mind off of the revolting hairy q-tip, anyway._ '

* * *

_Tick._

_Tock._

_Tick._

_Tock._

2300 hours interstellar time; night. Darkness covered the skull ship as it continued to drift through space- most of its inhabitants sound asleep. Lord Hater, however, wasn't one of them as he tossed and turned- careful enough to try and not disturb the sleeping abomination in his bed. Yet, his troubles were for naught as Captain Tim found himself waking with a growl.

"Oh, well exCUSE me, Tim! I must have forgotten you needed your precious beauty sleep!"

Sarcasm did nothing to appease the pet alien, as he hissed some more. Hater sat up in bed and glared down at him.

"Yeah?! Well 'hissss' to you, too, pal! If you're going to be a big baby about it, go to your OWN bed!"

Captain Tim didn't need to be told twice, as the lip-spider picked himself up and scurried out of the comfort and covers of the skeleton's much larger water bed. With a 'plop' he landed on the floor, as his many legs made little tapping sounds as the creature went to his own bed on the other side of the room. Circling the large pillow in the basket, Tim tread until he found a spot comfortable enough and laid down. He gave one last hiss at his master before going back to sleep.

Hater scoffed.

"Yeah, alright, have an attitude. At least you were lucky enough to get to sleep IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Hater grumbled and rolled over, his alarm clock glowing softly at him through the darkness.

11:58.

In two minutes, it would technically be his birthday. Every year he dreaded it; every year he got older, and every year was another year he had failed to take over the universe. It had come to feel less like a celebration, and more an anniversary of what a failure he still was.

11:59.

He swore he could feel himself getting older as the seconds ticked away. He growled at the clock, daring it to change over. He steeled his glare.

12:00.

"Psssst."

"Shut UP, Captain Tim! I get it already!" Hater hissed.

"Pssst. Hater."

THAT, however, got the overlord's full attention as he found himself tossing and rolling over to see what had called his name. Hater let out a scream as his green eyes locked onto another pair-as he jolted up to get whatever was in his bed as far away from his face as possible.

It was only once he was sitting up, did the skeleton realize just who was laying in the sheets with him.

"WANDER?!"

"Shhh," the fuzzy nomad shushed, smiling as he brought a finger to his lips. "Don't wanna wake up anybody. I think all your friends are sleeping."

Hater glared as he angrily whispered back at him, already upset with himself over how flustered he was.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! What are you doing on my ship, LET ALONE IN MY BED?!"

The sheets made a soft sound as Wander sat up in the bed. The eye contact was making Hater feel uneasy, and he glanced away.

"Well, Sylvia an' me got t'talkin', and we realized, we haven't seen you or Mister Peepers in forever! Ain't it weird? I mean we usually always bump into each other SOMEplace along the way. But lately, it was like y'vanished into thin air! So I said to Sylvia, 'we should go pay Hater a visit ourselves'. An' wouldn't y'know it, we happened t'find you the night right before your birthday! Crazy, right?"

The furry traveller stopped to breathe at last, grinning up at Hater as he awaited a reply. He stared for a long time, grin never faltering. As the alarm clock flipped over to 12:09, Wander finally decided he probably wasn't getting a reply.

"Sooo..." He tried again, his finger tracing circles in the bed sheet. "About your birthday party... couldn't help but notice we weren't invited this year..."

"Yeah, well," Hater started, making sure to keep avoiding eye contact, " nobody did, so you can stop feeling like a special snowflake. I'm not having a stupid party this year."

The skeleton's gaze finally did land back on Wander, as the nomad in his bed gasped loudly. The fuzzy mop looked hurt, and possibly horrified, as if somebody just told him he wasn't going to have a birthday at all.

"Not gonna have a- now that just ain't right! And here I thought Mister Peepers knew the proper way of treatin' his birthday boys. Now don't you worry, Hater, I can fix that! We'll go wake everybody up now, start gettin' everything together. You deserve the biggest cake, piles of presents, lots of fun games like last year, maybe even another big ol' ki-"

"Stop, stop, STOP!" Hater interrupted, not even paying attention to everything the nomad had been listing. He growled as he got all in Wander's face, poking his furry chest with a gloved boney finger. "No. Parties. NOTHING like last year! I'm not having a birthday party because I don't WANT a birthday party! GOT IT?!"

Wander looked at the finger pointed at his face, sadly.

"You don't want a party? Hater, I..." A fuzzy hand came up to grasp the finger, and Hater jerked his hand back like it had stung.

"I don't understand it, but I can respect it." Wander finished, with a single, dutiful nod. The nomad took off his hat, and set it in his lap.

"So if you ain't havin' a party... does that mean y'don't want any gifts, either?" Wander was grinning at him again. Hater gaped at him.

"What? Of course I- I mean, it's still my birthday, I deserve presents! ... Even more than usual!"

"I thought so!" Wander replied, reaching into his hat. Hater watched with anticipation as the nomad rooted around inside, before finally pulling out...

His banjo. Hater's face fell.

"Nevermind."

"Now Hater-"

"Nuh uh, no way- I've heard enough of your banjo playing to last me a lifetime! Isn't three songs enough?!"

"Not in a perfect world."

"Yeah? Well, in a perfect world, I wouldn't have you in my bed either!"

The nomad looked down at his instrument, as he began to tune it some. Hater glared at him, despite the fact he couldn't see it. Wander took one of his hands and scratched the back of his neck- looking the most nervous the skeleton had ever seen him. Wander looked up, his smile a bit strained and shaky, as he start talking once more.

"Well, I guess you're the birthday boy, n' all. It would just be a real shame t'have the song go to waste. I mean, it was written for you an' all."

Hater raised a brow at this.

"You WROTE a song for me? Why bother? You could have just sung one of those stupid folk songs you keep going on about, and just said it was yours. That's a waste of time you could have been doing on more important stuff!"

The nomad's nervousness seemed to melt away right before the overlord's eyes, as some new expression took its place. Hater couldn't place what it meant- yet another one of Wander's many cryptic smiles as his eyes dared to look right through him. Hater felt his face starting to become warm, as he averted his gaze to try and catch his composure.

"Hater," Wander purred, his voice soft and thick, " I can honestly say there's nothin' more important t'me than writin' your birthday song. So, please...how bout it? Can I give ya your gift? I promise if you don't like it, you never have to hear it from me again. Scouts honor."

Hater huffed, lied down on his side of the- what was he thinking, the WHOLE bed was his- and glared up at the ceiling. A distant part of himself he was refusing to acknowledge was actually, sort of, maybe, flattered, that Wander had written a song for him. No matter how stupid an idea it was. And an even MORE stupid gift.

"Fine." Hater grumbled. "But keep it down!" What had happened to not wanting to wake anyone up? The skeleton was suddenly very aware that anyone could walk in at any moment and see THIS happening.

The nomad's face practically split in two- his beam wide and the happiest Hater had ever seen it. He continued to smile, though it became softer and less crazed as Wander began playing his banjo. The overlord was worried at first that the noise would shatter the night- anyone outside his bedroom door instantly being alerted to his intruder. However, Hater was surprised by how gently the orange fingers played with the strings- a quiet, but still energetic melody coming forth.

It wasn't long before Wander's voice joined the rest of his private birthday concert.

" _It's been a while since I saw you_

_You were nowhere to be seen_

_My pal and I searched near and far_

_And in all the inbetweens_

_I was doing all the lookings_

_No one knew where to start_

_But all it took was a lil' remindin'_

_And I found you in my heart_

" _Now I know you think I'm silly_

_Or maybe some fouler words to say_

_An' knowing you an' your language_

_Try t'fill me with dismay_

_But I know what you're hiding_

_Don't worry, I won't tell_

_Just let me sit beside you_

_An' rest for a lil' spell"_

The nomad had been busy concentrating on the notes, or so it had appeared, as he focused on the instrument in his hands. Hater found himself startled when Wander suddenly looked up, big cheerful eyes locking with his glowing greens.

" _Hater, you fill me up with static_

_Air 'round you's electricity_

_Call me anything you like_

_You're still wonderful to me_

_Touch me with your magic_

_Ya light me up inside_

_I've been drawn to you ever since_

_Our path's came allied"_

Wander's eyes became cloudy and misty as he played on, losing himself in his lyrics. His voice changed, becoming more passionate and needy as he played even quieter-almost as if he was getting ready to share the mysteries of the universe, and he wanted to make sure the skeleton was the only one who heard. Hater found himself forgetting to breathe, as he made himself come closer to the nomad so he could pick up every last word and syllable.

" _Now you're a guy with everything_

_The stars are in your hands_

_And I can't offer you very much_

_This I already understand_

_But I traveled far and near_

_I found you at the start_

_If I can offer anything_

_Then it's gotta be my heart"_

Suddenly the banjo music stopped, making the room go eerily silent. But, still, Wander wouldn't look away as he continued to sing.

" _Yes I traveled many places_

_But I found you at the start"_

Wander startled the skeleton as he placed a small furry hand on top of his own.

" _It would be so very kind of you_

_Won't you please accept my heart?"_

Hater didn't say anything. He didn't move, save for the initial flinching when Wander touched his hand. Like many instances with the fuzzy nomad, Hater found he was paralyzed, unable and unwilling to tear his shock-stricken eyes off the hand on his. How dare it be there.

He hadn't known what he was expecting, but it hadn't been that. A blanket of unreality suddenly befell Hater, another cruel joke brought on by sleepless nights. His tortured mind thought it was funny to spin a dream where Wander confessed the feelings that Hater himself was doing all he could to suppress.

Except that hand on his wasn't a dream.

He was now aware that he had been spoken to again, and his eyes finally looked up at the nomad's face. The expression of worry there confused him, until he realized he hadn't said anything either way about the situation.

"Um." Hater croaked. His mouth tasted like cardboard. He tried swallowing, but it didn't help much.

The worried expression melted into a look of sorrow that made his chest feel tight. A smile flickered through the look of defeat on the nomad's face.

"It's alright, I probably shouldn't have-"

When the fuzzy hand left Hater's, the gloved hand reached out and grabbed it before Hater could tell it not to.

"No! I liked it. I mean, y'know, it was good."

The skeleton hated himself for the way his chest felt constricted, his breath hitching inside him as Wander's face lit up. Hater despised them both when the smaller man scootched closer in the bed- Wander's body practically touching his side- and all the overlord could think of doing was hiding his face under his pajama hood. The nomad twisted his body downwards, however, as he smiled up at the skull that did its best to stay hidden.

"REALLY? You true t'goodness LIKED it?"

Hater glared, letting go of the other's hand as he crossed his arms over his chest. He turned his body away, feeling the need to shield himself as much as possible from the eyes that had a habit of seeing way too much. Those eyes that threatened to look right through him and destroy whatever resolve he had left. The overlord scoffed.

"UGH! I said 'YES'. WHAT, do you want me to sing YOU a song telling you how much I luuu- how much I liked it?! WELL IT AIN'T HAPPENING, PAL! It was OKAY, surprisingly not awful like all those other stupid songs you sing-BUT THAT'S IT!"

"Well, y'don't have to sing about it, or nothin'..."

Hater didn't like that Wander was so close, he could feel his breath on his face when he talked. Or was he more upset that he did? He still refused to look at the fuzzball staring him down.

"But you could talk about it a little, if you wanted..."

The overlord didn't need to look at him to know he was smiling; he heard it in his voice. So it was a confession he wanted? Anger began to boil in Hater's nonexistent gut.

"You want me to talk about how WEIRD this is? About how feeling anything but a burning HATRED for you has COMPLETELY ruined my LIFE? About how much SLEEP I've lost, because I can't even get RID of you when I'm UNCONSCIOUS?!"

This was ridiculous. Hater knew it, Wander knew it. And Hater knew that Wander knew- he could just feel the taunting vibes through the air. The skeleton couldn't take it anymore!

"I don't like it! I just want PEACE! Is that too much to ask?!"

Hater growled.

" APPARENTLY IT IS! GROD, you haven't even been here and you've been driving me insane! Everything reminds me of your stupid face, of your stupid voice, STUPID EVERYTHING! You're with me no matter where I go and I just WANT IT TO STOP!"

During his rant, Hater forgot his 'no looking' rule as he turned to glower intensely down at the nomad- so used to using intimidation to get his way. His face and horns instantly fell, however, as he met Wander's half-lidded gaze. He founded himself blushing, his insides tingling from that light fluttery feeling once more. Hater grimaced and shot the nomad the dirtiest look he could muster.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!"

"Mm? Stop what, Hater?"

"That! That right there! Stop looking at me like that! THAT'S my problem right there! You're always LOOKING at me like that! I DON'T LIKE WHAT IT DOES TO ME!"

Hater's eyes opened widely as he realized what he had just blurted out. Oh no. In a panic the skeleton looked down again to see Wander's smile had grown wider as he gave him that smug look again. He knew.

_Wander knew._

"Uh...I..I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID!"

Wander's expression didn't change much, and Hater felt something akin to fear flicker through him. He wasn't buying it; he'd just said something stupid in front of his greatest threat, and there was no taking it back.

"Well! If it'll make ya feel any better, Hater..." he was whispering now. Hater decided whispering was worse.

"I'll let ya in on one of my own secrets. Then we'll be even!"

Hater just stared down at him, frowning, unsure. He watched the hand gesture, dumbly, telling him to come closer. He felt himself do just that, distantly screaming at himself it was a trap, and then it was too late. When the furry arms wrapped around his neck, he knew he had just made a grave mistake. A secret expelled in hot breath where his ear would have been.

"You're makin' my gutty works all fluttery, too."

Hater wished he could think up a proper way to respond.

"Uhhhh…"

Wander, however, didn't let him. Like every other aspect of their lives, the nomad went and did something crazy to distract the overlord. Hater found himself startled into silence as warm fuzzy lips stole his mouth- Wander's eyes closing on contact. But Hater didn't have the luxury- how could he when he was too busy staring in shock? Wander was...Wander was KISSING him. He was...they were...NO! This wasn't RIGHT! It needed to stop. It needed to stop NOW! It needed to stop before Wander dragged him along, just like every other stupid experience with him. He needed to push him away and demand he leave his room-no, HIS SHIP!- and tell him he never wanted to see him again. So maybe then Hater could start feeling NORMAL again. He needed the heat to stop rising up inside himself, he needed to stop feeling the spark of electricity where their mouths were touching together.

He needed it to stop feeling  _good_.

Oh grop, it DID feel good. It felt REALLY good. And no matter how much his mind screamed at him to push Wander away, Hater's body refused to obey as his arms moved on their own accord- wrapping themselves around the smaller body and bringing him closer. When all reasoning told him to stop, Hater's body disobeyed as his eyes closed as well and he began returning the kiss with his own timid passion.

Hater couldn't help but feel disappointed- not to mention annoyed- when Wander pulled back. The nomad's breathing was heavier as he spoke, but that gaze was gone.

"Shoot! I'm real sorry, Hater, but I gotta skedaddle! Syl's waitin' for me."

With reluctance, Hater let him go. He watched in silence as Wander picked up his banjo, and stuffed it inside his hat.

"I hope you have the best birthday this year, Hater! Even better 'n last year. An' I am so happy that you liked your gift." That flirty expression flashed across his face for a second, and was gone.

"Oh, uh, yeah, just, it's... whatever." Hater mumbled, awkwardly. When Wander hopped down off his bed and started across the floor to the exit, a sudden panic came over the overlord.

"Wait! So uh..."

Wander stopped and turned.

"Still no party or anything but uh, Peepers and me are still having cake, so um... you and your dumpy zbornak friend could... stop by and, get some before we throw it out. Or, whatever. Gonna be balloons, too, so."

_Please come back and see me._

Wander, with his knowing smirks and sultry eyes, nodded his head- his hat happily bouncing with him.

"It's a date! Me n' Syl wouldn't miss it for the world."

_I promise._

* * *

**.:THE END:.**

Art by [Whethervane](http://whethervane.tumblr.com/).

Art by [Green-Kites](http://green-kites.tumblr.com)

Art by [Fabledump](http://fabledump.tumblr.com/post/99389560359/uh-oh-it-appears-i-am-being-dragged-back-into-the)

Art by [the-shy-lonely-weirdo](http://the-shy-lonely-weirdo.tumblr.com/post/93934664881/and-heres-a-request-by-ms-snark-i-decided-to)

Art by [Risaxrisa](http://risaxrisa.tumblr.com/post/91942400557/my-part-of-a-trade-im-doing-with)

Art by [Robotoco](http://robotoco.tumblr.com/post/85114053227/you-need-to-watch-this-my-friend)

[And then a very lovely rendition of Wander's Love Song by Laurscream. ](http://laurscreamisnotamused.tumblr.com/post/90678843645/uhhhhhh-so-i-kinda-binge-read-heart-of-the-cards)

Thank you guys, again, for these!


End file.
